The USA Network is preparing to gear up for its new summer schedule, and to help prepare you for the new seasons of Covert Affairs (season five premieres June 24) and Suits (season four premieres June 11), you can get caught up on the past seasons this week. Fans of British mystery and drama can watch the recently aired seasons of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and Wallander, and Doctor Who fans can go on An Adventure in Space and Time. Fans of FX’s The Bridge can check out the original Danish series to compare, and we now have proof that Danny Trejo will appear in anything with the release of Ghostquake, another in a long line of Syfy original movies. Classic TV buff will be happy to finally have the complete The Bob Newhart Show on DVD, and Dan Curtis’ Dracula gets a spiffy new Blu-ray release. These titles and more will be available May 27, and you can see all the highlights in our handy shopper’s guide. Just click on a link to get more information or to make a purchase.

To subscribe to the below schedule in iCal, copy this link and paste into the “Subscribe…” menu item in iCal. You can also just click it to open iCal or even click to add to your iPhone calendar. The same link will work in a Google Calendar as well! Or see the calendar as a web page (also embedded at the bottom of this post). The calendar will update as new shows are added/changed.

* All times are in EDT PM, unless otherwise mentioned.
* New series premieres are in Bold Italics

SERIES PREMIERES/RETURNS

SEPTEMBER

Tuesday, September 3

10:00 Cold Justice (TNT)

10:00 Luther (BBCA)

10:00 Tosh.0 (Comedy)

10:00 We’re The Fugawis (History)

10:30 Brickleberry (Comedy)

Wednesday, September 4

9:00 Inside the NFL (Showtime)

10:00 Ghost Mine (Syfy)

10:00 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX)

10:30 The League (FXX)

11:00 Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell (FXX)

Thursday, September 5

8:30 Sunday Night Football (NBC)

Friday, September 6

10:00 20/20 (ABC)

Saturday, September 7

8:00 Cupcake Wars (Food)

Sunday, September 8

9:00 Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Monday, September 9

8:00 The Million Second Quiz (NBC)

Tuesday, September 10

10:00 Sons of Anarchy (FX)

12:00AM The Heart, She Holler (Adult Swim)

Wednesday, September 11

8:00 The X Factor (FOX)

9:00 Restaurant Stakeout (Food)

10:30 Thieves, Inc. (Food)

12:00AM Derek (Netflix)

Friday, September 13

10:00 Haven (Syfy)

10:00 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Sunday, September 15

10:00 The Great Santini Brothers (History)

Monday, September 16

8:00 Bones (FOX)

8:00 Dancing with the Stars (ABC)

9:00 Sleepy Hollow (FOX)

Tuesday, September 17

8:00 Dads (FOX)

8:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX)

9:00 New Girl (FOX)

9:30 The Mindy Project (FOX)

10:00 The New Atlanta (Bravo)

Wednesday, September 18

8:00 Survivor (CBS)

10:30 Key & Peele (Comedy)

Friday, September 20

8:00 Last Man Standing (ABC)

8:30 The Neighbors (ABC)

9:00 Shark Tank (ABC)

Sunday, September 22

11:30 China, IL (Adult Swim)

Monday, September 23

8:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

8:00 The Voice (NBC)

9:00 2 Broke Girls (CBS)

9:30 Mom (CBS)

10:00 The Blacklist (NBC)

10:00 Hostages (CBS)

10:00 Castle (ABC)

Tuesday, September 24

8:00 Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

8:00 NCIS (CBS)

9:00 The Goldbergs (ABC)

9:00 NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

9:30 Trophy Wife (ABC)

10:00 Chicago Fire (NBC)

10:00 Fangasm (Syfy)

10:00 Lucky 7 (ABC)

10:00 Person of Interest (CBS)

Wednesday, September 25

8:00 The Middle (ABC)

8:00 Revolution (NBC)

8:30 Back in the Game (ABC)

9:00 Criminal Minds (CBS)

9:00 Law & Order: SVU (NBC)

9:00 Modern Family (ABC)

10:00 CSI (CBS)

10:00 Nashville (ABC)

10:00 South Park (Comedy)

Thursday, September 26

8:00 The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

8:00 Parks & Recreation (NBC)

9:00 The Crazy Ones (CBS)

9:00 Glee (FOX)

9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)

9:00 The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC)

9:30 Two and a Half Men (CBS)

10:00 Elementary (CBS)

10:00 Parenthood (NBC)

Friday, September 27

8:00 Masterchef Junior (FOX)

8:00 Undercover Boss (CBS)

9:00 Dateline (NBC)

9:00 Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)

10:00 Blue Bloods (CBS)

Saturday, September 28

10:00 48 Hours (CBS)

Sunday, September 29

8:00 The Amazing Race (CBS)

8:00 Once Upon a Time (ABC)

8:00 The Simpsons (FOX)

8:30 Bob’s Burgers (FOX)

9:00 Family Guy (FOX)

9:00 The Good Wife (CBS)

9:00 Homeland (Showtime)

9:00 Revenge (ABC)

9:30 American Dad (FOX)

10:00 Betrayal (ABC)

10:00 Eastbound & Down (HBO)

10:00 Masters of Sex (Showtime)

10:00 The Mentalist (CBS)

10:30 Hello Ladies (HBO)

Monday, September 30

8:30 We Are Men (CBS)

OCTOBER

Wednesday, October 2

9:30 Super Fun Night (ABC)

10:00 Ironside (NBC)

10:00 Top Chef (Bravo)

Thursday, October 3

8:00 The Vampire Diaries (CW)

8:30 The Millers (CBS)

8:30 Welcome to the Family (NBC)

9:00 The Originals (CW)

9:00 Sean Saves the World  (NBC)

10:00 Scandal (ABC)

Sunday, October 6

9:00 Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

9:00 The Paradise (PBS)

Monday, October 7

8:00 Hart of Dixie (CW)

9:00 Beauty and the Beast (CW)

Tuesday, October 8

8:00 The Biggest Loser (NBC)

9:00 Supernatural (CW)

Wednesday, October 9

8:00 Arrow (CW)

9:00 The Tomorrow People (CW)

Thursday, October 10

8:00 Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC)

Sunday, October 13

9:00 The Walking Dead (AMC)

10:00 Talking Dead (AMC)

12:00AM Comic Book Men (AMC)

Tuesday, October 15

10:00 Real Husbands of Hollywood (BET)

Thursday, October 17

9:00 Reign (CW)

9:00 White Collar (USA)

10:00 Covert Affairs (USA)

Saturday, October 19

10:00 Dancing on the Edge (Starz)

Tuesday, October 22

9:00 Ravenswood (ABC Family)

10:00 Awkward (MTV)

Friday, October 25

8:00 The Carrie Diaries (CW)

9:00 Grimm (NBC)

10:00 Dracula (NBC)

NOVEMBER

Sunday, November 3

8:00 It Takes a Choir (USA)

Monday, November 4

8:00 Almost Human (FOX)

Friday, November 8

9:00 Raising Hope (FOX)

9:30 Enlisted (FOX)

Saturday, November 23

10:00 Atlantis (BBCA)

Monday, November 25

9:00 Major Crimes (TNT)

Tuesday, November 26

9:00 Boston’s Finest (TNT)

USA’s Graceland has been one of the few new shows this summer I’ve been able to latch on to this year (Under the Dome and Orange is the New Black are the others, but I’m still not sure how to classify anything from Netflix). According to USA’s corporate messaging, the undercover cop drama indicates the beginning of a shift to telling more serious (read: darker) stories. Don’t get me wrong, I love shows like Suits and Covert Affairs – well, less this season in the latter’s case – but I think this type will be good for the network (and great for viewers whose names rhyme with Tivey Pest).

In the spirit of this new direction, Graceland delivered a “game-changing” twist in this week’s episode “Goodbye High.” (Spoiler alert: turn back now if you haven’t yet seen the episode) We finally learn that Odin, the shadowy drug-dealer who is the subject of Charlie’s investigation, is actually friendly neighborhood FBI agent Paul Briggs. We’ve had reason to suspect Briggs of something since the pilot; the secret investigation by new kid on the block Mike Warren has been one of the main plot arcs of the show thus far.

The twist is perfectly timed. Early in the episode, Briggs had apparently bared his soul to Mike. Early in his tenure as an agent, he’d gone against orders to follow a lead into Mexico. He was captured by the cartel, but instead of being tortured and killed, his captors turned him into a heroin junkie and set him free. To keep his job, Briggs kept his addiction a secret from the FBI and his friends, and got clean. Hearing all of this, Warren – who had always doubted Briggs’ guilt – went to his control officer Juan and made a case for getting Briggs the help he needs.

But Briggs’ entire story was turned on its side when he revealed himself to Bello. Everything Juan had been selling to Warren turned out to be true; Briggs wasn’t the great, wonderful mentor that the fresh-out-of-Quantico FBI agent believed in. Frankly though, I’m not so sure that I believe what we are supposed to believe at this point. It’s not that I have a problem with a show delivering a twist that means one of the two lead characters is actually an antagonist, but I think there is a ton of circumstantial evidence that Briggs’ new truth isn’t the whole truth.

There’s obviously much more to Briggs’ flashback story than was revealed in this one episode. We learned about his training officer Roberto, who was apparently as deep in the cartel as one could get. We also learned about Jangles, the man who facilitated Briggs’ journey into junkiedom. These two men looked a great deal like each other, and we never saw the latter’s face … a dead giveaway in my book.

Finally, one of central themes of Graceland thus far has surrounded secrets: keeping them, breaking them, who and who not to share them with. Who you can trust with something and when you can trust them with something are questions that we’ve seen explored through Charlie’s story, through Briggs’ story and most consistently through Mike and Abby’s story.

Keeping those three things in mind, I don’t think it is a reach at all to think that there is much more going on with Briggs/Odin than meets the eye. I’ve not yet sussed out what I think it is yet, but the most obvious is that Odin is just a deep cover for another investigation, one that Juan and other members of the FBI might be compartmentalized out of. Is he trying to save Roberto? Or is he working with Roberto to help take down the cartel completely?

Or have I completely got this backwards, and Briggs has simply been successful at playing everyone, including the audience? Regardless of how this plays out, I’m a fan of how the story has played out thus far. This potential second twist is admittedly more safe than making Briggs an actual bad guy, but I think you can only follow that road so far until he has to be written off the show, else you make the good guys look really, really stupid (see: Following, The).

[easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B0079IEPHA” locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41JvfyAt7yL._SL160_.jpg” width=”107″]  [easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B00BD6KPFU” locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41k4HwKb4cL._SL160_.jpg” width=”107″]  [easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B0079IEPHK” locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41cEak8UdcL._SL160_.jpg” width=”107″]

The second half of Doctor Who‘s seventh season bows on DVD and Blu-ray this week, while the last seasons of Longmire, Covert Affairs and Suits arrive just in time to let you catch up before the new seasons begin. Probably the biggest home video news of the week is the complete series release of the eagerly awaited animated series Beetlejuice (a few episodes were included on the Beetlejuice movie Blu-ray). This is the first time the entire series has been made available on home video, and if the price is too steep, you can also start your collection with the complete first season (of three). These titles and more will be available May 28, so have a look at our shopper’s guide and click on a link to make a purchase or to get more information about a title. Any purchase made through a link will help support CliqueClack. We thank you for that!

To subscribe to the below schedule in iCal, copy this link and paste into the “Subscribe…” menu item in iCal. You can also just click it to open iCal or even click to add to your iPhone calendar. The same link will work in a Google Calendar as well! Or see the calendar as a web page (also embedded at the bottom of this post). The calendar will update as new shows are added/changed.

* All times are in EDT PM, unless otherwise mentioned.
* New series premieres are in Bold Italics

SERIES PREMIERES/RETURNS

MAY

Monday, May 20

8:30 The Goodwin Games (FOX)

10:00 Motive (ABC)

Wednesday, May 22

8:00 MasterChef (FOX)

Thursday, May 23

8:00 Save Me (NBC)

9:00 Showville (AMC)

9:00 Toxic Office (FOX)

10:00 Rookie Blue (ABC)

Monday, May 27

8:00 The Bachelorette (ABC)

9:00 American Pickers (History)

9:00 The Glades (A&E)

10:00 Longmire (A&E)

Tuesday, May 28

8:00 Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC)

10:00 Brooklyn DA (CBS)

Wednesday, May 29

8:00 The American Baking Competition (CBS)

8:00 Melissa & Joey (ABC Family)

8:30 Baby Daddy (ABC Family)

9:00 Dancing Fools (ABC Family)

10:00 Top Shot (History)

Friday, May 31

9:00 Primetime (ABC)

JUNE

Sunday, June 2

8:00 The Killing (AMC)

9:00 The Next Food Network Star (Food)

9:00 Princesses (Bravo)

12:00 The Venture Bros. (Adult Swim)

Monday, June 3

9:00 The Fosters (ABC Family)

10:00 Teen Wolf (MTV)

10:00 Mistresses (ABC)

Tuesday, June 4

9:00 America’s Got Talent (NBC)

9:00 Total Blackout (Syfy)

10:00 Exit (Syfy)

Wednesday, June 5

10:00 Chef Roblé & Co. (Bravo)

10:00 Paranormal Witness (Syfy)

Thursday, June 6

8:00 The Hero (TNT)

9:00 72 Hours (TNT)

9:00 Burn Notice (USA)

9:00 Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis (Bravo)

10:00 Graceland (USA)

Friday, June 7

10:00 Continuum (Syfy)

Saturday, June 8

9:00 Sinbad (Syfy)

10:00 Being Human (BBCA)

10:00 Primeval (Syfy)

Sunday, June 9

9:00 Falling Skies (TNT)

Monday, June 10

8:00 Switched at Birth (ABC Family)

9:00 White Collar (USA)

10:00 King & Maxwell (TNT)

Tuesday, June 11

8:00 Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)

9:00 Twisted (ABC Family)

10:00 Chopped (Food)

Wednesday, June 12

9:00 Ghost Hunters (Syfy)

9:00 Royal Pains (USA)

10:00 Necessary Roughness (USA)

Thursday, June 13

9:00 Intervention (A&E)

Friday, June 14

9:00 Magic City (Starz)

Saturday, June 15

10:00 Mistresses (ABC)

Sunday, June 16

9:00 True Blood (HBO)

9:00 Inspector Lewis (PBS)

Tuesday, June 18

10:00 Blood & Oil (Discovery)

Wednesday, June 19

9:00 Franklin & Bash (TNT)

10:00 Futurama (Comedy)

10:00 Hot in Cleveland (TV Land)

10:30 The Exes (TV Land)

11:00 Soul Man (TV Land)

Thursday, June 20

10:00 Wilfred (FX)

11:00 Gigolos (Showtime)

Sunday, June 23

9:00 Crossing Lines (NBC)

9:00 Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

9:00 Whodunnit? (ABC)

10:00 Devious Maids (Lifetime)

10:00 Copper (BBCA)

Monday, June 24

10:00 Under the Dome (CBS)

10:00 POV (PBS)

10:00 Under the Dome (CBS)

Tuesday, June 25

9:00 Rizzoli & Isles (TNT)

10:00 Perception (TNT)

10:00 Catfish (MTV)

Wednesday, June 26

9:00 Big Brother (CBS)

Sunday, June 30

9:00 Dexter (Showtime)

10:00 Ray Donovan (Showtime)

JULY

Monday, July 1

8:00 American Ninja Warrior (NBC)

Sunday, July 7

9:00 Endeavor (PBS)

Monday, July 8

9:00 Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls (NBC)

Wednesday, July 10

9:00 America’s Got Talent (NBC)

10:00 Camp (NBC)

Thursday, July 11

9:00 The Winner Is … (NBC)

10:00 Hollywood Game Night (NBC)

Sunday, July 14

10:00 The Newsroom (HBO)

Tuesday, July 16

8:00 Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW)

9:00 Covert Affairs (USA)

9:00 Joe Rogan Questions Everything (Syfy)

9:00 Perfect Score (CW)

10:00 Notorious Hauntings (Syfy)

10:00 Suits (USA)

Monday, July 22

11:00 Web Therapy (Showtime)

Wednesday, July 24

9:00 The Vineyard (ABC Family)

10:00 Haunted Highway (Syfy)

Sunday, July 28

9:00 Unforgettable (CBS)

Monday, July 29

9:00 Breaking Pointe (CW)

Wednesday, July 31

9:00 The Hunt (CW)

AUGUST

Saturday, August 3

9:00 Hell on Wheels (AMC)

Sunday, August 11

9:00 Breaking Bad (AMC)

10:00 Low Winter Sun (AMC)

11:00 Talking Bad (AMC)

Thursday, August 15

9:00 Owner’s Manual (AMC)

10:00 The Pitch (AMC)

Sunday, August 25

9:00 Silk (PBS)

Tuesday, August 27

9:00 Face Off (Syfy)

10:00 Cosworld (Syfy)

Saturday, August 31

8:00 Saturday Night College Football (ABC)

Is Olivia “Sleeping with the Enemy”?

Come on now, if Grant weren’t hot and the president of the United States, would you see any of his recent actions as romantic? No. I thought not. He sends his bodyguards to kidnap Olivia WHILE she’s in the middle of a client crisis. He attempts to have sex with her in the middle of the woods WHILE THEY WATCH. (Even if they hadn’t turned their backs, Grant would’ve kept on going.) Grant destroys her ex-fiancee’s career for TALKING to her WHILE keeping tabs on her past relationships. THEN, he tricks her into dinner by renting out a restaurant with FAKE diners! That is NOT romantic! That is STALKING!

According to HealthyPlace.com, a stalker “want(s) what they want and they do not care if the victim does not want the same.” The stalker makes “obsessive calls” and “acts like a child. He’d rather have your love, but he’ll take your anger if there’s no alternative.” Sound familiar? Grant calls Olivia up, like a pizza, because he “wants” her. But, he forgets about her needs or her “white hat” job. And, even when he knows their confrontation will only end in anger, he STILL keeps kidnapping and calling her. Half the time I didn’t understand why Grant continued to call or push so strongly, considering they essentially yelled at each other EVERY SINGLE time. Only serial killers keep repeating the same pattern while expecting a different result. Am I calling Grant a serial killer? No. Am I calling him a serial stalker? Yes.

Is Grant a Wuss?

Cyrus keeps calling Grant a “great man,” but so far I haven’t seen it this season. If he’s a great Conservative/moderate president, let’s see him exhort more of his ideas without his minders. I’ve watched Olivia go after her targets with laser sight determination. In comparison, Grant waffles on his decisions, relying on Olivia or Millie’s quick-wits to get him out of (or into) trouble. “Beltway Unbuckled” exemplifies that if Olivia and Millie weren’t women, they’d probably run the country overtly … as opposed to covertly. I can see how Grant fell in love with both women, but I can’t see how Olivia fell in love with him. In fact, last season, Olivia only fell in love with Grant because he loved her first and consistently pursued her. Last season, we saw more of Grant’s political brilliance by his vice presedential handling. But, we haven’t seen his political one-upmanship with other adversaries this season. Instead, we’ve watched him mope on the couch like a love-sick teenager, while relying on Olivia’s ideas to bolster his confidence. I’m wondering about Cyrus’s presidential devotion, considering Millie and Olivia are the brains behind the throne. So, let’s see more of the man that Cyrus follows and the brilliant man that Olivia loved/loves. Do I want him to one-up Olivia? Of course not. But, I’d like to see more of his political savvy when it comes to non-Olivia-related global (and internal) affairs.

The Final Verdict

So, what’s the verdict? Is President Grant the wussiest man alive or the biggest stalker ever? Honestly, I think he’s a bit of both. Does he truly love Olivia or does he stalk her out of boredom/distraction? Olivia barely saw hide or hair of Grant when he schtupped his intern. But, since Grant realized that having relationships with TWO White House staffers isn’t the best, it looks like he returned to the old stand by. This season, Olivia definitely received more booty calls from Grant than last season. Part of me wishes he’d reconcile with Millie, but I understand why he can’t. Despite her love for him and her intelligence, Millie’s the worst type of politician. She cares for power and will do anything to grab it, without having a compass to guide her. Did she want to go to war because she thought it was right or because the public wanted it? Did she throw her oar in with the family of the murdered college student out of kindness or for publicity? Clearly, the latter both times. Millie would become the type of president who might always appear decisive, but only makes a decision if it appears right to others, but not if she thinks it’s right. A brilliant politician that cares more for appearance than her country’s betterment is slightly scary. I suppose Millie’s lack of moral compass drives Grant away, while Olivia’s “white hat” fervor consistently draws him. But, I can see why he married Millie – if a beautiful, smart, politically ambitious woman falls in your path, you snap her up, even if her ideologies don’t fully align with yours. Because, honestly, what are the odds you’d find an obnoxiously attractive, hideously smart, politically ambitious person who’s ALSO incredibly, scarily moral? If Olivia Pope didn’t exist, I’d say pretty low.

All the same, Grant’s continued interest in Olivia is stalker-ish. Will her really give her up? And, what happens after that? Let’s say Olivia gave in. Let’s say Millie disappears, freeing up Grant to pursue Olivia. Wouldn’t he expect Olivia to abandon her job? Wouldn’t she start pushing for him to accomplish her agendas from the wings? Wouldn’t she get fed up with her seat at the “kiddie’s table”? YES! So, why is Grant so intent on recreating what already happened with his wife with Olivia? Don’t serial killers just keep repeating the same patterns with the expectation a different result will happen? Once again, I’m not calling Grant a serial killer, but his borderline obsessive behavior MONTHS/YEARS after the affair should’ve ended marks him as a stalker. Has Olivia ever contacted him and indicated her need to see him for anything other than political necessity? Part of me wants to call a politician who puts his groins/romantic notions before his career unrealistic; but, considering Clinton, Weiner, Thomas, Sanford, Gingrich, and Edwards, I have to state otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Grant, his relationship with Olivia and the TV show, Scandal. Scandal is so totally killing it this season with awesome plots. But, Cyrus is right. Grant is a ticking time bomb. Grant’s obsession with and attempts to contact Olivia have become EVEN more blatant. His recent actions this season, especially in “Hunting Season,” have seriously concerned me. So, is he the wussiest president or the biggest stalker ever? Or, is he a bit of both? If that’s the case, what does that mean for his administration, Olivia and Scandal’s second season? Sound off!

 [easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B007MDB6Y2″ locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61GSbBTG0lL._SL160_.jpg” width=”116″][easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B00009WVSL” locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HWDGR6PJL._SL160_.jpg” width=”112″]

Few networks have as strong and as recognizable a brand as USA does. After a summer of watching and reviewing some USA offerings, I am starting to think about what works and doesn’t work in the network’s formula for its shows. We know the network for its blue skies, “Characters Welcome” approach to television storytelling. The shows are generally fun summer fare, often procedural and easily digestible. In general, this is an approach to TV that I enjoy, as I don’t believe every show can or should be, say, Breaking Bad.

The week-to-week formula on a USA show generally follows the pattern that Burn Notice has been using for six seasons now. There is a protagonist, Michael Westen, who is very good at his job, though of course his personal life is a mess. Every week, he and his team have a new case to deal with, but there is an overarching mythology that gets increasingly complicated as the seasons go on. This mythology is usually sort of confined to during the first five minutes and last five minutes of every episode, except for premieres and finales, which often deal exclusively with mythology. This is the formula, and while it may have worked in the early seasons of the show, it’s getting tired now. (Psych is an even older show, but it doesn’t really have a mythology so it’s been grandfathered in.)

Now, I don’t watch every single USA offering (sorry, Suits and Covert Affairs), but of the ones I do watch, White Collar seems to be the more direct descendant of Burn Notice – which is my model for an archetypal USA show — in terms of structure. There is a case of a week, and nowadays, the episodes check in on Neal Caffrey trying to figure out why his godmother Ellen was murdered; in earlier seasons, it was his girlfriend’s death he dealt with, more than once, even. Now we are getting the idea that the current storyline will unravel to reveal Surprising Truths about Neal’s dad, who may or may not have been a dirty cop. I expect these reveals will take a long time and involve increasing layers of bad guy conspiracies, just like on Burn Notice.

And already, I don’t care.

In the case of both White Collar and Burn Notice, the long-term story arc is in fact the least interesting element of the show. The multi-year arc of who burned Michael got so complicated that I could not longer keep track of it and, thus, did not care much about it. I expect the investigation into Nate’s death to go the same way, as well as Neal’s investigations on White Collar. For both of these shows, the chemistry between the leading players as they do their week-to-week case work is the real appeal. Michael, Sam, Fiona, and Jesse interacting and tackling problems from week to week is the engine that drives Burn Notice, just as the uneasy Neal/Peter partnership is what makes White Collar work.

I have started to notice shifts in the USA formula, these two shows notwithstanding. I was reviewing Necessary Roughnessthis summer, and I came to see it as having an opposite problem from White Collar and Burn Notice. Dr. Dani Santino usually had a case of the week, but it almost always felt shoehorned in compared to the increasing drama with Dani’s personal life and the drama surrounding the Hawks. With this show, so much was going on I never really felt that I needed to see Dani’s other patients. I wonder if the difference here is that Dani has to work each weekly therapy “case”alone, isolating her from the other characters, such as Matt, Nico, and TK, whose interactions help make the show interesting.

If USA is really all about characters, then a show like this should be allowed to focus on the characters in their shared milieu rather than isolating them. For White Collar and Burn Notice, the shared milieu is structured so that it involves the main cast in the cases of the week, whereas with Necessary Roughness, the shared milieu is the football team and all its attendant stories. As a result, this just doesn’t lend itself as well to cases of the week, unlike the other two, which are more fun when they are mostly procedural.

The show that I actually feel is allowed to be itself the most while also managing to stick to the USA formula the best is, oddly enough, Royal Pains. I don’t think most people would say this is exactly the best show on the network, but in some ways, it offers the most uncomplicated pleasure. Now, hear me out. The show’s milieu, a concierge medicine company, lends itself to involving everyone in cases of the week, especially now that Paige works for HankMed, and most of the actors involved shine when dealing with the patient guest stars. The case of the week showing the main characters something about themselves is a trope as old as procedurals, but I think it works here because health care professionals have to care so much about their patients. (It should work on Roughness, but the case of the week is often given so little time there as to feel perfunctory; we can’t care about Dani’s non-team patients if if the show doesn’t.)

HankMed also allows for enough interpersonal drama to keep things interesting. For instance the introduction of the awkward Dr. Jeremiah Sarcani and his sweet unrequited love for Divya has been a highlight of the season for me. This show, since it lacks the mythology of some of the heavier USA offerings, focuses on the characters: the very essence of USAs’s Characters Welcome mission statement.

I don’t mean to imply that Royal Pains is a perfect show by any means. Mark Feuerstein is pretty good when playing against patients and against Paulo Costanzo, but the repeated attempts to give him a girlfriend are snooze-worthy. The Paige is adopted storyline needs to play out further before I can judge it properly. And the stuff with Boris (which may be this show’s attempt mythology) is a waste of Campbell Scott and feels like it belongs on, well, Burn Notice. But most of this stuff doesn’t take away from the good work the show has done by toning down Evan’s character by keeping him with Paige and allowing him to grow, and by Hank finally admitting they needed to hire other doctors and grow the business. Their little team feels like a family, which is why I tune in from week to week.

The conclusion I can tentatively draw from my musings is that, perhaps USA shows should either be or not be procedural, depending on what works for each show, but that the ones I watch at least would be better off without a heavy-duty mythology arc that starts to feel confusing and perfunctory after a while. USA should trust their slogan to be true: characters are why people tune in to shows most of the time.

Of course, USA’s formula seems to work well for them in terms of ratings, and if it ain’t broke, right? I don’t know that the network feels that it ain’t broke, though. This season’s miniseries Political Animals represented an attempt to experiment with breaking the formula a bit, even though the show was tonally similar to the network’s other shows. Unfortunately, the ratings were not great, which may teach USA to just leave things be. However, I also feel like the second season of Necessary Roughness, with its decreased emphasis on cases of the week may have been part of the same experiment, and perhaps shows a willingness to let each show find what works for it (even if they won’t be allowed to abandon the formula entirely). I really hope that’s the case. The USA brand is very strong and clearly a good way to launch shows, with their focus on character and on maintaining a breezy tone, but then those shows should be allowed to find their way without too many network constraints or demands for complicated mythology.

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