Unless you’ve lived under a rock or have lived a very sheltered life, you probably know that Walt Disney became the king of animated films when he first released Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937. A hit, the film led to more classic fairy tales and children’s stories being brought to life through the wonders of animation.

In 1950, Walt Disney Productions brought Cinderella to the big screen and the film has charmed audiences ever since. Now Disney has gotten into the business of remaking its classic animated films, past and present, as live action extravaganzas. Last year’s Maleficent, based on Sleeping Beauty‘s grand villainess, was a monster success and more remakes — Beauty and the Beast, The Jungle Book — are in the works (and let’s not forget Disney did remake 101 Dalmations several years ago). For now, we have Disney’s Cinderella brought to magical life.

You probably know the story: young orphan is treated badly by her stepmother and stepsisters, basically treated like the help instead of family, she meets a prince in the forest, he is smitten and holds a ball to which everyone is invited, she arrives with the help of her Fairy Godmother, clock strikes midnight, she must run, loses a shoe and he takes the shoe (a glass slipper) throughout the kingdom to find its owner. And, of course, they live happily ever after. Spoiler alert?

The 1950 version followed that plot and the 2015 version is extremely and thankfully faithful to its source material. There’s been no attempt to modernize the story, although you’d be hard-pressed to pinpoint an exact time period (but there are no cars) which helps make the film and the story timeless.

Lily James, better known as Lady Rose MacClare on Downton Abbey, is simply wonderful as Ella (the Cinder part is attached to her after she is forced to work in the kitchen). She radiates innocence and purity and love and happiness, she’s pretty but not beautiful, she gives Ella a nice down-to-earth charm that should be a good role model for young girls. Even in her darkest moments of being emotionally bullied by her step-family, she remains true to herself and never wallows in her own self pity. Once she’s transformed and knows the prince wants to marry her, she still retains that charm that had been instilled in her from childhood. James makes Cinderella someone to really root for.

On the other hand, you have the deliciously evil Stepmother played with aplomb by Cate Blanchett. The character certainly could have given Blanchett reason enough for some juicy scenery chewing, but she manages to keep Stepmother just this side of a caricature. And as with Maleficent, the script gives us a little bit of an insight into why she’s so mean so as to humanize her, but you’re still happy that she and her daughters get what’s coming to them in the end.

Richard Madden, Game of Thrones‘ Robb Stark, is a prince any girl would want to marry and any boy might aspire to be. Even with his regal bearings, he’s just as down-to-earth as Ella and refuses to be married off to another kingdom’s royalty just because his father and the royal court says that’s the way it’s done. He goes to the end of his land to find the mysterious girl from the ball, and you can’t help but fall in love with them as they fall in love.

Helena Bonham Carter shows up for one scene as the comic relief Fairy Godmother (she also sings “Bibbity Bobbity Boo” over the end credits), Derek Jacobi is the King and Stellan Skarsgård is the Grand Duke. Director Kenneth Brannagh firmly grounds the film in its own special world, opting to use mostly physical sets over the routine CGI creations which really helps the fairy tale fantasy feel more realistic. The scene where the clock strikes midnight and Cinderella must flee the ball before everything returns to their normal states, from lizard footmen to the goose carriage drive, is a breathtakingly shot and edited chase scene that will keep you on the edge of your seat even though you know how it ends. And kudos to the CGI department who really give life to a bunch of digital mice. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear they were real, trained performers.

Cinderella is certainly geared towards a female audience, young and old alike, but the action, special effects and palace intrigue should be appealing to everyone. The film is enjoyably pleasant (and also features some gorgeous costumes) and you won’t feel like you just wasted two hours of your life after you exit the theater.

As a bonus, audiences are treated to the new animated short Frozen Fever featuring the cast of the original film. The story follows Elsa as she tries to plan a birthday party for Anna, but a cold could prevent her from getting Anna to her party. It’s wonderfully animated and tells a cute story with one big laugh, but it’s ultimately not quite as memorable as Frozen. Luckily, Disney announced there will be a Frozen 2, so this should hold fans over until then.

What’s an upstart network — or a rebranded version of an old network — to do to attract new viewers to the channel? With hundreds of options out there, what’s the best way to get people to sample your new wares? How about purchasing a Canadian sitcom with a provocative title starring two comedy legends!

The new POP TV network, formerly TVGN, has launched with a new scripted comedy from the minds of Eugene Levy and his son Daniel. The show, Schitt’s Creek, also stars Levy’s longtime comedy cohort Catherine O’Hara so you know the show just has to be funny, right? I’m very happy to say that yes, it is very funny.

The premise of Schitt’s Creek is a typical fish-out-of-water scenario: Levy and O’Hara star as Johnny and Moira Rose, an obscenely wealthy couple with two children, David and Alexis, who find themselves suddenly homeless and virtually penniless after their accountant neglects to pay their taxes and absconds with their fortune. The one thing they are left with is a small town Johnny purchased as a joke, the aforementioned Schitt’s Creek. With nowhere else to go, the Rose’s embark on a journey to regain their status from the middle of nowhere.

Of course, this is certainly not a new story, but Levy, O’Hara and the rest of the cast manage to breathe new life into it. In the first four episodes that have aired, the Roses have been forced to live in a shabby motel (emphasis on the M) with a snarky front desk attendant while Johnny attempts to put the town on the market, not knowing it had been for sale for twenty years when he originally purchased it. Moira and the kids are completely out of sorts, and the skeevy mayor of the town, played by Chris Elliott, is a thorn in their side.

O’Hara is probably the funniest of the cast because Moira is the most broadly drawn of the four Roses. She was a former soap star villain (the mayor compliments her on her “bitch face” even though she’s not doing anything at the time, and begs her to slap him like she did on her show), accustomed to all the best things in life and now lives out of a single, hideously furnished room with leaky plumbing. The mayor’s wife asks her to help her students with a school play which goes hilariously awry, and she has no control over her entitled children.

No one can play befuddled and exasperated as well as Levy, and he keeps Johnny the most firmly grounded of the family. He’s almost the straight man to all of the antics going on around him, from dealing with the mayor to dealing with his kids — whom he usually puts in charge of Moira to no avail. Annie Murphy plays entitled Alexis well, kind of bringing to mind Paris Hilton on that reality show she used to do with Nicole Ritchie. Daniel Levy’s David is just as broadly drawn as Moira, getting some of the show’s wittiest and bitchiest lines (the funniest bit in the premiere focused on his and his sister’s sleeping arrangements and whose bed was closer to the door … “No, you get murdered first!”). And it has yet to be addressed, but David is also the gayest thing on two feet, which may lead some to question what could be considered a negative stereotype … but I’ve seen Daniel doing some hosting work on MTV and, well, he’s not really stretching the character all that far. I, for one, think he’s pretty funny in a Jack McFarland kind of way.

Schitt’s Creek, so far, has been funny although a bit uneven at times but each episode has had at least one big laugh-out-loud moment. The first season consist of ten episodes and has been renewed, in Canada (even before the show aired), for a second season. POP has only committed to the first season as of now. If you’re looking for a family comedy that’s just a little off the beaten path, then by all means take a trip up Schitt’s Creek. You can catch up on the previously aired episodes On Demand, and special webisodes on the show’s official website. Schitt’s Creek airs in the US on POP Wednesday at 10:00 PM ET.

How much is too much?

Based on common sense and experience, it’s not unreasonable to believe we have a pretty good grasp of what “too much” means. Between you, me and every other reader out there, we can attach a reasonable answer to the question in pretty short order.

Take common sense for example: We know when there is too much salt on our food, when it’s too cold to go outside without a jacket, when you’re too tired to concentrate on something. Pretty basic stuff.

On the flip side, the concept of “too much” is not so easy to discern when it comes to some of our television preferences … and especially so with our favorite shows.

Already in The Walking Dead‘s current season’s second half, there’s been a bevy of examples of excess. And many of them have elicited its fans’ displeasure. (This isn’t exactly news to anyone; the show has been doing so from its inception, a big part of its draw and watchability.)

Recent events have caused fans (read “angry villagers”) to wield their pitchforks and lit torches on a vocal little stroll down Main Street, U.S.A.

Too Much Immediacy

With the series leaving us last year mourning Beth’s untimely demise, the writers immediately offered an interesting episode (“What Happened And What’s Going On”) to start the second half of the season with yet another death, this time fan-favorite Tyreese. Coming so quickly on the heels of Beth’s exit, you could practically hear fans gnashing their teeth. Was this too much too soon? Are the writers that heartless? Do they get their rocks off pegging us with multiple deaths back-to-back, barely giving us time to breathe?

No, not at all. It was the perfect time. It kept things flowing and interesting and it keeps us on the edge of our seats. Not to mention it makes for good drama. And it’s not as if it hasn’t been done before — Dale and Shane were “offed” in consecutive episodes during season 2. The show’s Powers That Be aren’t setting any precedents.

But still … too much too soon? That’s what a lot of fans harped about on social media, blogs and other forums concerning Tyreese’s downfall. Just goes to show you can’t please everyone all of the time.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s those gut punches and their ramifications that keep the show’s comfortabilities at bay and our senses tuned. Me? I didn’t have a problem with it. It’s part of what The Walking Dead is. If you’re a fan, you come to expect the unexpected. So, no … it wasn’t too much.

Too Much Monotony

This is one of my pet peeves. And not about the show itself, but of the fans’ attitudes toward it.

To many, last week’s “Them” was filled with plodding and tiresome nothingness. Some of the things I read and heard? “Not much action.” “Boring.” “Little story.” “It’s as if the group was doing nothing but huffing it on down a highway aimlessly.”

And therein lies my peeve. Because there was so much more to the episode.

The group was fresh from a confrontation at Grady Memorial where they successfully won back Carol but lost Beth in the process. They were still reeling from Bob’s fate at the hands of the Terminans not to mention the ruckus of that particular house of horrors. And now? Tyreese is gone. The group, as a whole, is woefully affected on deeply personal levels, particularly so in the cases of Daryl, Maggie and Sasha whose feelings have been especially riven and rent raw as a result of the loss of their loved ones. But wait, there’s more: Throw in everyone’s depletion from lack of food and water and you have yourself a real party going on. Each person is spent to their cores. Does the situation cry for a splatter-fest fracas with the undead?

No. It calls for introspection and understanding of the characters, some healing of those frayed nerves, sometimes in the form of emotional outlet. In whatever form that outlet might take. And, again, that’s just what the writers gave us. They slowed the pace of the show for the greater part of an episode and, as an audience, got us to take a step backward and evaluate the position these emotionally crippled and physically exhausted folks are feeling.

It’s called character study. I applaud it. And I’m certain I’m in the minority.

Most fans want the action, the splatter, the danger … every single episode. And I get that to a degree. It’s all well and fine to get caught up in a show. I do it all the time. But in something like The Walking Dead there’s a whole lot more going on then just the blood and guts, which is my least favorite part. Getting to the heart of the characters and their interactions with others as well as the ramifications of their actions … that’s where the real meat and potatoes of the series is for me. As example, Rick’s introspection and decisions. Glenn’s lay-it-on-the-line common sense. Michonne’s rare, in-your-face sensibility. (We saw example of this big time in Sunday’s episode during her discussions with Rick.) Daryl’s seeming off-the-cuff outbursts which, when you dissect them, can often reveal more wisdom than knee-jerk reaction.

So is there too much monotony when an episode like “Them” comes along to slow down the pace? Hell no. It’s completely necessary to the story.

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Judging from the box office grosses, audiences were not looking forward to another chapter in the Horrible Bosses saga, and who could blame them. The first film racked up more than $100 million in the U.S. but after being burned by the diminishing returns of The Hangover — with a second chapter that was basically the first movie, beat by beat, in a different location — Horrible Bosses 2 grossed about half of what the first made.

But, Horrible Bosses 2 is actually a better film than the first because it’s not simply a retread. The plot expands on the story, making the three leads, Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day), their own horrible bosses as they attempt to start a business of their own. They enter into a partnership with a catalog distribution magnate (Christoph Waltz), but when the deal goes south, the guys revert to their old bad habits and attempt to kidnap the son (Chris Pine) in hopes of salvaging their business. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned and the results are pretty funny.

The addition of Waltz and Pine elevate the film, but there is also room to fit Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston and Jamie Foxx into the story organically. They never feel shoe-horned in just for the sake of bringing in familiar faces. I’ve seen the film twice now, and I enjoyed it just as much the second time around as I did the first. The new Blu-ray edition of the film also includes about seven minutes of additional footage, but it’s nothing that consequential to the plot or that changes the theatrical R rating.

The Blu-ray, released February 24, has a nice sharp, colorful image and the 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack is active when needed but keeps the dialog front and center without being drowned out by music and sound effects. The Blu-ray also contains a nice batch of extras.

• Endless Laughter Guaranteed! (17:28) — A behind-the-scenes look at the making of the movie with input from the stars and a nice collection of outtakes and flubbed lines. It shows that the cast genuinely had a great time making the movie.
• Let the Sexual Healing Begin (2:24) — A faux infomercial about sex addiction.
• Who Invented the Shower Buddy? (1:29) — Kurt or Dale?
• Nick Kurt Dale INC.: Employee Testimonials (2:13) — Ray, Lupe and Candy reflect on their bosses.
• It’s the Shower Buddy – Infomercial (1:10)
• High Speed Crash Course (2:47) — A brief behind-the-scenes look at shooting the climactic car chase scene.
• Off the Cuff: One-Liners You Didn’t See — Extended/outtake versions of several scenes in the film including Pumping Your Buddy (1:31), Julia’s Cog Collection (1:23), Don’t Drop the Soap (1:09), Spit It Out (1:28), Sex Addiction Group (1:11), Kiss and Tell (1:31), Half-Assed Brushing (1:15), Racist Dale Arbus (1:44), Stuck in the Middle (1:08), Coma Boners (1:45), A Tender Bottom (1:31), Who Gets What? (1:04), Dale’s Not Dead (1:39)

Horrible Bosses 2 may not be great art or even great comedy, but there is something about watching a bunch of people who obviously enjoy each others’ company having a great time trying to entertain us. Looking at the outtakes, they certainly had more fun making the movie than the final product shows, but it’s still worth a few good laughs here and there, and it’s miles better than The Hangover Part II. Horrible Bosses 2 would make a great party movie, and the Blu-ray, with its bounty of extras, is worth picking up.

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment generously provided Horrible Bosses 2 to CliqueClack for review.

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After generating a lot of buzz during its theatrical run, and quite a few awards nominations and wins along the way to Oscar night, audiences who may have missed Whiplash in theaters can now check it out on home video. Does the film live up to the hype?

The story is fairly simple: young musician attends a prestigious music school in the hopes of becoming a great jazz drummer like his idol Buddy Rich. The student, Andrew (Miles Teller), doesn’t get much support from his family, is an outsider at school, and is terribly awkward with the opposite sex. Andrew stays focused on his music and thinks he’s on the right path when instructor Terrence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons) seems to take him under his wing. But the dream becomes a nightmare as Fletcher goes from mentor to monster.

It’s not hard to see why Simmons has been winning every acting award in sight (including the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor). He takes what could have been a horrible, one-note character and gives him many complex layers. He may appear to be a bully, but perhaps he just cares enough to want to help a young musician achieve their own greatness … or he could just be trying to show the world that he can create greatness. It’s a challenging role and Simmons shows us a side of himself that we haven’t seen before. Teller also gives a terrific performance that’s been overshadowed by Simmons, showing us Andrew’s insecurities and determination through his facial expressions. With Fletcher, you never really know what’s going on under the surface but Andrew wears all of his emotions on his sleeve. And Teller learned how to drum for the part as well!

The film is directed astonishingly well by Damien Chazelle, who based the story on his own experience, and produced a very accomplished film in the span of nineteen days! The final musical performance is a head-spinning montage of constantly moving camerawork and sharp editing that deservedly won the Best Editing Oscar. (Most prognosticators pegged Boyhood for the editing win, but there was no question in my mind Whiplash had it sewn up based on this one scene.)

Whiplash is now available on home video, and the Blu-ray is a thing of beauty. The image, consisting of mostly warm browns and inky blacks, is beautiful with enough fine detail to capture lines and scars on faces and drops of sweat and blood as Andrew drives himself to perfection. The disk’s 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio favors the center channel for the most part, but when the orchestra kicks in during performances and rehearsals, the surrounds fill with music.

The disk also contains a wealth of bonus material … something that’s been lacking in a lot of home video releases of late.

• Audio commentary with Damien Chazelle and J.K. Simmons — The two discuss the process of making the film from casting to locations to crafting performances, with Chazelle being the serious filmmaker and Simmons the comic relief.
• Timekeepers (42:56) — A collection of professional drummers talk about how they got started, their careers, education, influences and more. Featured drummers include Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Doane Perry (Jethro Tull), Roy McCurdy (Blood Sweat and Tears), Gina Schock (The Go-Gos), and Wally Ingram (Timbuk3). The film is entertaining to a point, but I lost interest after about twenty minutes.
• Whiplash Original Short Film (17:56) — The “Rushing/Dragging” scene from the movie with J.K. Simmons and many of the film’s actors/musicians in the same roles. Chazelle recreates this scene in the movie almost shot by shot. Also with optional audio commentary.
• Fletcher at Home (1:30) — A deleted scene with optional commentary. The scene was wisely cut from the film because it reveals a lot about Fletcher that could have affected the rest of the film.
• An Evening at the Toronto International Film Festival with Miles Teller, J.K. Simmons and Damien Chazelle (7:50) — Q & A at the festival, we learn it took 19 days to shoot the movie, how the director chose the actors and how they prepared for their roles. Best answer is from the director on why he went from jazz drumming to film directing.
• Theatrical trailer and Previews for other Sony titles.

I can’t say that Whiplash is the best film of the year, but it is certainly worth a look. It’s accomplished, the music is great and it features two outstanding performances from Teller and Simmons. The video/audio quality and bonus material on the Blu-ray is certainly an incentive to pick up the title and judge for yourself. And after Oscar night, we can look back on the film and realize that this is the moment Simmons went from more than just a familiar face (and voice of the Yellow M&M) who seems to pop up everywhere.

The Whiplash Blu-ray was generously provided to CliqueClack for review by Sony Pictures Home Video.

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It’s that time of year once again when Hollywood congratulates itself for another year of a job well done. Most years have pretty clear front-runners as to who and what will win, but this year has only a few clear-cut winners. The biggest prizes of the night are up for grabs in many categories including Best Director, Best Adapted and Original Screenplay, and Best Picture. The only sure things this year seems to be in the four acting categories.

I’ve made my predictions based on my gut and some internet research to come up with what I think will will. In my Oscar pool last year, I tied for first place but lost out on how long the ceremony actually ran, but last year was less of a game of chance than this year. So, with a deep breath, I’ve made my choices. We’ll see later tonight how close I actually came. Feel free to let us know who or what you think will win! Be sure to check back to see the winners.

Best Picture: Boyhood [Winner: Birdman]
Best Director: Alejandro G. Inarritu, Birdman [Win]
Best Actor: Freddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything [Win]
Best Actress: Julianne Moore, Still Alice [Win]
Best Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons, Whiplash [Win]
Best Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood [Win]
Best Original Screenplay: Birdman [Win]
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Theory of Everything [Winner: The Imitation Game]
Best Animated Feature: Big Hero 6 [Win]
Best Foreign Language Film: Ida [Win]
Best Documentary Feature: CitizenFour [Win]
Best Documentary Short Subject: Crisis Hotline – Veterans Press 1 [Win]
Best Cinematography: Birdman [Win]
Best Film Editing: Whiplash [Win]
Best Production Design: The Grand Budapest Hotel [Win]
Best Costume Design: The Grand Budapest Hotel [Win]
Best Original Score: The Grand Budapest Hotel [Win]
Best Original Song: “Glory,” Selma [Win]
Best Visual Effects: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes [Winner: Interstellar]
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: The Grand Budapest Hotel [Win]
Best Sound Mixing: Whiplash [Win]
Best Short Film – Animated: Feast [Win]
Best Short Film – Live Action: Aya [Winner: The Phone Call]
Best Sound Editing: American Sniper [Win]

There was a run of teen movies in the late 90s and early 2000s that were cheap, simple, and harmless. Films like Whatever It Takes, Mean Girls, and  She’s All That. Take these movies, sprinkle a little Easy A in and run them through a blender and you get The Duff, a cute but harmless entry into the teen makeover comedy category.

The Duff is about a smart, quirky girl named Bianca (played by Arrested Development‘s Mae Whitman), who is a bit of a tomboy, she loves cult movies and excels at her studies but is completely lacking in style, fashion, and popularity. While not the most popular girl in school, she does have two best friends who happen to be two of the hottest and most popular girls. Of course no teen comedy would be complete without the mean popular girl and The Duff is no exception: the beautiful and popular Madison (Bella Thorne), the queen bee of the school and all around bitch. Bianca is approached by her neighbor and childhood friend, sorta, kinda (the film briefly mentions they used to play together as small children but never expands on it), named Wesley (Robbie Amell), and he informs Bianca that she is a D.U.F.F or Designated Ugly Fat Friend. From there Bianca decides to change her station in life and Wesley agrees to help her in exchange for math tutoring.

A lot of old ground is retread in The Duff, from the neighbor/ love interest having a bedroom window facing the lead’s (Whatever it Takes), to the nerdy ugly girl getting turned into the hot popular girl (She’s All That), the bitchy high school queen character reeks of Mean Girls, and the parent who curses and is just like a best friend is straight out of Easy A. Yes The Duff is a hodgepodge of the standout parts of many more memorable teen comedies, and while it does a fine job with what it’s emulating, the end result is fine … just fine.

This is probably the biggest problem with the film; it never becomes anything more than just okay. Some gags will make you groan, a few are genuinely funny, but not much is particularly special or memorable about The Duff. The leads have surprisingly good chemistry but the screenwriters were so worried about getting as many clichés in that they could, that the story and character development suffers as a result. There are certain moments where the film shows another side of itself that could have really been something special. A couple of fantasy sequences, including one that parodies old porno tropes, were laugh out loud funny. Ken Jeong is also a highlight as one of Bianca’s teachers but he’s criminally underused. There are just so many directions this movie wants to pull you in that it short-changes all of its subplots as a result.

The film has a strong focus on cyber-bullying and social media’s effect on today’s high school experience. While this angle gives some of the more cliché elements a slightly fresher feel, you can’t help but roll your eyes at other points that are surprisingly unsavvy with technology in a movie that concerns itself with the internet so much. These moments are brief and few in number but they feel oddly out of touch with the twelve to twenty target audience. Moments like YouTube videos being pulled from the internet by teenage hacker girls in a matter of seconds, teenagers carrying multiple cellphones, and kids sharing videos around school while declaring out loud that they’re going to make them “go viral.” No one shares other people’s videos with their friends to make them viral, they just share it and it becomes viral organically. These story beats feel clunky and out-of-place.

The happiest surprise in this film is Robbie Amell. The young actor is surprisingly likable even when filling the traditional high school jock/ jerk role. He has a very Daniel Tosh-like quality both in look and in ability to say terrible things with a wink and a smile that keep him endearing. This almost undermines the films attempts to set his character up as the traditional dumb jerk with more under the surface. The movie starts off trying to convince us how mean he is and how he’s just another stupid jock but they quickly forget this thread entirely and just let him be a pretty stand-up and awesome guy for the majority of the film. Had they let him be a bit more unlikable at the start, there could have been a nice arc to his character development.

It’s also worth noting that from Arrested Development through The Duff, Mae Whitman has now spent eleven years playing a high schooler. Luckily she’s in good company. The Duff keeps the teen movie cliché of having almost no actual teenagers playing teenagers and instead we get a bunch of twenty-somethings playing the bulk of the high school parts.

As it is, The Duff is a funny, though uneven film. If only it had taken the time to decide what it wanted to be, there could have been a real classic here, instead we get another average entry into the teen comedy genre. While it’s worth the time and money to check out, it’s likely you’ll have a hard time remembering it soon after you leave the theatre.

When Fifty Shades of Grey made its way through my circle of friends back in 2012, I picked it up and read it mostly so I would know what it was all my friends were talking about on Facebook. I was mildly curious, and it was this mild curiosity that kept me reading it until the final page. However, by the time the novel was over, I felt a closure with the characters. I didn’t care enough about their fates to pick up either of the two sequels. It was this same mild curiosity that caused me to accept the review invitation for the film, released today by Focus Features, and I have to say watching the film adaptation was even more painful to sit through than reading the first novel.

I think my biggest problem with Fifty Shades of Grey is that it’s billed as this great, sweeping love story that couples should want to watch unfold on the big screen this Valentine’s Day weekend. It’s about as romantic of a notion to me as Pretty Woman. Much like I never understood why a story about a rich man using a prostitute to his advantage and then taking her off the streets on a whim is considered an epic romance, I don’t understand why this one is billed as such either.

The relationship between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele isn’t romantic, nor is it even healthy. But I get the way it’s romanticized on the big screen because it’s an escapism/fantasy for some and it begins innocently enough like a conventional love story for others. Anastasia is an awkward but intelligent college senior majoring in English lit who fills in on an interview with the successful Christian Grey as a favor for her sick roommate. It turns out that not only is he the incredibly rich and powerful owner of his company, but he’s also young and handsome. He is the type of man with a commanding presence, beautiful eyes and a boyish smirk that can make a woman swoon just by passing her by. Once you throw in that he can also pilot his own private helicopter to fly you to a different city to wine and dine you, I can see why that would make most women weak in the knees. To that end, he was cast well. Actor Jamie Dornan is easy on the eyes. I really didn’t have a problem with Dakota Johnson cast as Anastasia. She’s awkward but pretty like her parents (Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith). She bites her lip in a suggestive way during the appropriate scenes, and overall I think she’s a better young actress than the one they found to be in the Twilight films. She’s capable of showing a range of emotions, reacting to things like she was an actual human being and not just a caricature of one.

Anastasia is drawn to Christian because she finds him enigmatic and mysterious. Behind all the wealth and the prying eyes of the public is a man who shields the secrets of his private life to even those who are supposed to know him best. In turn, Christian is drawn to Anastasia because she’s like a blank slate waiting to be filled – in more ways than one (terrible pun inserted because it’s really nothing more than a terrible story line that you’d find in a poorly written porno). It seems Christian is a control freak with a capital “C.” His need to dominate trickles all the way from the boardroom of his corporate empire down to his personal relationships. This intense desire to be in control carries over to the bedroom, as Anastasia soon discovers.

Christian introduces Anastasia to the world of BDSM: doms and subs, whips and chains, handcuffs and playrooms filled with sex toys designed to inflict pain and desire until they’re maddeningly one and the same. However, their relationship is not even considered a healthy dom/sub relationship according to the rules of the BDSM community. Both individuals have to know upfront clearly what is expected of them and be comfortable with their roles. Anastasia is clearly not comfortable in her role, and I can’t say that I blame her. I don’t care what kind of upbringing he had or how much of a control freak he is, there are no excuses for the way he treats her in the book or the film. You don’t treat someone you love in that manner. Christian comes across as very one-dimensional and selfish. Anastasia is seen as an object of lust to dominate in his “Red Room” instead of a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. I realize three things about Fifty Shades: (1) the sex has been watered down for consumption by the masses (even the old ladies next to me were not terribly offended), (2) it does not depict how the BDSM lifestyle probably really is (based on mutual consent) and (3) I don’t understand why anyone would want the “Christian Grey Experience,” which is apparently a thing now. If the experience is anything like it is in the film, it’d be awkward, frustrating and degrading.

One of the biggest problems plaguing this film is the coming together of Dornan and Johnson as Christian and Anastasia – they lack chemistry during the sex scenes. This is a pretty unforgivable blunder when like a third of the film is them having sex. Another major hurdle is making the story believable in an unabsurd kind of way, something I think it does a poor job of in the final product. Scenes that should be emotionally charged and powerful come across as nothing short of ridiculous, and I think this is perhaps heightened by the ultra-serious musical score provided by Danny Elfman. I love Danny Elfman, but in this particular case, his music just didn’t seem to fit certain scenes quite right. The lines are often corny and delivered so woodenly by the actors you’re not sure if they don’t understand what they’re saying or if they just didn’t want to be there that day. The negotiations for the contract between the two makes the entire thing so stilted that it takes all the spontaneity and excitement out of the relationship. Wait, isn’t marriage itself a contract that also takes some of the spontaneity and excitement out of some relationships? The jury is still out on that one.

However, all things considered, I do not feel this is the “worst film of all time.” The awkwardness of it makes it actually kinda funny in spots. The audience laughed at things that were probably not meant to be funny and there were some “hot and bothered” audience members in my showing who would shout out unexpected exclamations that also made it a funnier experience. But it is my humble opinion that the best thing about Fifty Shades of Grey is its soundtrack. It’s full of haunting refrains from the likes of Annie Lennox, AWOLNATION, Ellie Goulding and Beyonce. Leave it to Beyonce to take a Beyonce song and actually make it a better Beyonce song. It’s sort of like a musical Inception. What she does with the new arrangement for “Crazy in Love” left me breathless. I think people will be talking about the music much longer than they will be talking about the acting or the story. The only thing worse than the abrupt ending is the knowledge that there are two more novels lurking out there, and presumably, two more films waiting to be released.

Sometimes I feel like all indie movies are the same, with stylized cinematography and lighting, achingly acted scenes of pain, and a final message of “love’s great, but life sucks for the most part for most people.” This is perhaps unfair, but soon I realized that it’s not that all indie movies are the same, but that there’s a certain type where it’s always the same. These films are painful to watch if the acting is well done, because you empathize so strongly with the characters and their pain. Naturally, this is tricky, because it also can be draining and ultimately, repetitively tiresome. So it takes a real gem or unique idea to stand out in the crowd. Does this one? Well . . .

Mommy is a French Canadian movie written and directed by Xavier Dolan that aches with sorrow with a few shining moments of happiness that only serve to make the sad parts worse. Diane (Anne Dorval) is a single mother and widow of a troubled fifteen year old son, Steve (Antoine Olivier Pilon). Steve also has issues with ADHD, but the film doesn’t quite seem to understand mental illness all that well. There is an opening splash text that in a fictional alternate version of Canada, legislation has been passed that lets parents easily institutionalize kids for a variety of reasons. This is 100% pointless, because the movie does not really need to be in an alternate world for really anything to work.

The movie begins with Diane being forced to live with her son again after Steve gets kicked out of an institution for kids with special needs. Steve loves his mother, but perhaps too much. There are elements of near Oedipal issues here, as Steve has severe attachment disorder, leading to frequent violent outbursts. It can be difficult to watch, especially when it seems like it’s yet another scene in line of horrible scenes. But then the two befriend Kyla (Suzanne Clément), a new neighbor across the street with her own dark history, and together they seem like they might be able to help each other.

I mentioned a gimmick earlier, but it’s an odd one. The movie is mostly shot in a 1:1 aspect ratio; that is, it’s a small square on the screen. When I first saw the movie, I thought it was a mistake or some sort of low resolution film. But it wasn’t a mistake; it was entirely thematic. Although I get why it was done and I suppose it makes some sense, it almost seems too pretentious to me, given the decent but not superlative quality of the film. That said, the movie has positives and negatives.

The acting is excellent, particularly Anne Dorval as Diane, understated at times and highly emotionally fraught at others. The kid is okay, but his character is written to such extremes that it’s hard to get a handle on whether or not he’s really acting or overacting. But in general I found the performances affecting, at least the main ones; the other folks in the backgrounds, forgettable I’d say. The dreary coloring of the movie is intentional, and it does get inside your head. But at over two hours, I think the movie could’ve stood to be trimmed in a few places. The emotional turmoil gets blunted when it seems like it’s the same scene over and over again.

Still, it is a good movie, a classic indie movie of its type, subtitles and all. Just don’t expect to feel so great afterwards.

Mankind has long held a fascination with eerie things that go bump in the night and the mysterious fraternal orders that are bound by duty to keep us safe from such creatures. In Universal Pictures’ latest offering Seventh Son, we’re introduced to The Wardstone Chronicles (UK)/The Last Apprentice (US), a young-adult series written by author Joseph Delaney. This book series follows the supernatural adventures of Thomas “Tom” Ward (Ben Barnes), who is the seventh son of a seventh son, and therefore the apprentice of Spook John Gregory (Jeff Bridges). In this fictional world, a Spook is the title given to a knight who is bound by duty to fight against supernatural evil.

Only the seventh son of a seventh son is deemed strong enough to fight the good fight against a gaggle of ghosts, ghasts, witches, boggarts and the like. It seems this is a dying breed, as Gregory is the last of the Spook Masters. All of his apprentices have ultimately failed, having been killed by dark forces during their extensive training process. This is all bad enough for Gregory to contend with, but when you throw in the fact that the blood red moon is rising – an event that only happens once a century – and Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore) is once more free and gathering her evil minions to take over humanity, well it becomes a dire situation not for the faint of heart indeed. Mother Malkin is the evil queen of the witches. She is very powerful and dangerous with bloodthirsty, vengeful feelings for the Spook. She will stop at nothing to see that the Spook and his young apprentice fail their quest to undermine her uprising.

After Gregory’s latest protégé (Kit Harington) is killed by Mother Malkin at the beginning of the film, he is tasked with finding a suitable replacement immediately, for the ominous blood red moon is coming in just a week’s time. His travels lead him to young Tom, who is the seventh son of a simple farmer who was also a seventh son. There is more to Tom than meets the eye. He has haunting visions – mostly about Mother Malkin – that he doesn’t understand. One gets the impression that destiny has brought the Spook to his last apprentice, for maybe, just maybe, he is the key to Mother Malkin’s undoing.

While I haven’t read any of the book series, I was instantly drawn to the character of Tom. I love stories about humble, reluctant heroes; stories about people coming of age, meeting their destinies and embarking upon a noble quest or two. I think we all like to believe there is something deep-down special about us and that’s why we look to these types of heroes. I’m also a sucker for just about anything supernatural. When you throw in a good monster or two, I’m definitely down for the fight.

Seventh Son throws an abundance of monsters on the screen to delight the audience. Some of them are funny, some of them are creepy and some of them are cool to look at. The 3D effects enrich the overall experience, but it felt like the effects could have been better at times. When Mother Malkin summons her evil cronies, one is almost overwhelmed by the variety of creatures being presented. There’s Urag (a man who transforms into the most vicious-looking bear you’ve ever seen), Radu (the fearsome leader of a band of ninja assassins who also transforms into a dragon), Sarakin (a lady who transforms into a fierce jaguar), a four-armed, sword-yielding maniac known as Virahadra and Mother Malkin’s twisted witch sister, Bony Lizzie, who also (yawns) transforms into a dragon of a different color. By the end, it feels more like a dragon fight instead of a fight between good vs evil.

A friend of mine suggested I go into the film picturing everything Jeff Bridges says in his Dude voice from The Big Lebowski to make it more enjoyable if my interest started to wane. I don’t have the heart to tell him that this would be almost impossible because Bridges’ character mumbles almost unintelligibly throughout the film and sometimes I’m not even sure what he was saying, yet alone did I have the time to picture someone else saying it.

That’s not to say I didn’t like Seventh Son. I’d be lying if I said that my inner 10-year-old who often ponders such questions as “what do monsters have nightmares about?” wasn’t satisfied on some level. There are elements to it that interested me, and I especially enjoyed the fact that Ben Barnes was in it. In fact, I just crushed on him a couple of weeks ago in the historical television miniseries Sons of Liberty in which he played the affable Sam Adams. There’s also a love angle involving Tom and one of the witches (Alice played by Alicia Vikander) that is tender and playful and provides nice breaks from the effects-heavy action sequences. I also believe the villains were all well cast, especially Djimon Hounsou as Radu. He was a badass.

However, much like The Hobbit, I think some of the richness of the fictional world was perhaps lost in this film adaptation. While I enjoyed it, I felt it never quite managed to transcend into the film it possibly could have been given the imaginative subject material (and perhaps some of the higher-ups felt this too, for I read the film’s release date was pushed back). Upon reading an online synopsis of the first book, it seems the story was almost completely changed (including the addition of new characters), and I’m not sure it was for the better. While I won’t bash the film as much as some of the other reviews I’ve seen, I can certainly understand why fans of the book series might be disappointed with the final product. I think Seventh Son had lofty goals of being the next great supernatural fantasy, but it fell more than a little short of the prize. If you’re looking for a cheesy fantasy a la the ones of your childhood, it should be right up your alley.

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