Relationships are complicated. And we don’t make things any easier on ourselves with selfishness and fantasy. Daydreams and popular entertainment, impossible ideals and overwhelming societal expectations — these are the things we do to keep ourselves confused and unhappy. You know, the usual. People and all that. We try to find anchors and rituals to keep things steady, and lie steadily to our own reflections that sacrifices of ourselves are worth the illusory goal of the “perfect” relationship. In reality, of course, nothing is perfect. But sometimes what we have isn’t that bad.

Don Jon is the writing and directorial debut of Joesph Gordon-Levitt, who was in quite a few movies last year and many more in years prior. He’s actually shown acting range and talent with very different sorts of characters over the years, and now apparently he can also write and direct movies. A bit unfair, really.  But the movie … it’s pretty great. The story is about Jon (played by JGL), a bit of a ladies man with a strong New Jersey accent and an unusual problem. Sure, he loves his family and takes great pride is his religious devotion, classic car, and his own apartment. He’s never had any issues getting a lady — but afterwards it’s always … empty. So Jon turns to porn. Over and over and over again. You might say he has a bit of an addiction. And his parents (Tony Danza and Glenne Headly) despair of him ever finding a long term girlfriend. Until he meets Barbara.

Who is played by Scarlett Johansson.

Barbara has her own thoughts and assumptions on relationships, influenced by years of terrible, sappy romantic movies. But the two certainly are attracted to each other, so why not give it a shot? Jon seems to have it pretty good — but it’s unlikely his new girlfriend will enjoy his little … habits. This movie likes to play around with the romantic comedy angle, including a hilarious short parody with cameos I will not spoil. The movie is, in short, funny, heartwarming, deep, and extremely enjoyable. It’s remarkably raunchy and profane in an honest way, by which I mean it seems like this is how people talk, instead of the movie using profanity or nudity as punch lines. Cliches are introduced that are rife with hidden depths, like a father that seems simplistic but hides secrets to Jon’s behavior in subtle ways, or a strange woman (Julianne Moore) who starts out seeming as the classic “Wise Mentor” type but becomes something entirely unexpected.

Acting is great across the board here, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt instantly becoming a charming, charismatic force who is also intriguingly troubled. Scarlett Johansson has some great material here too, playing off on the sexpot expectations with directions you may not see coming. A lot of beautiful people here, that’s for sure. I found it interesting the way Catholic confession was used as a story device to indicate certain levels of progress and delusion simultaneously, while also appreciating that it didn’t seem mean-spirited or ignorant. In the end, nobody is a villain, but nobody is a hero. Everyone is just a flawed human being, some just a bit more wise or experienced than others. And some that probably will never learn. In the end, the lesson is an extremely positive message for healthiness and reasonable expectations in relationships.

There’s an inordinate amount of material to unpack and discuss about this movie, but it all involves too many spoilers, so go watch it and we’ll discuss it later, okay? It’s a promise.

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