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Bones – Three is a super-uncomfortable crowd

Hart Hanson and I have reached a disagreement in regards to Booth and Brennan's relationship, which is uncomfortable. But nowhere near as uncomfortable as Booth's new girlfriend Hannah is making Brennan.

- Season 6, Episode 2 - "The Couple in the Cave"

Hart Hanson, you are not often wrong. In fact, I’d say I’m one of your most ardent defenders. I’d like you to adopt me and teach me everything you know. So when I say what I’m about to say to you, please, please know that I must really mean it from the bottom of my heart.

You done goofed.

I’m not talking about the end of the season last season — that was pretty genius. It was the perfect setup for Brennan getting over her trust issues. If Booth came back still in love with her, she wouldn’t have fallen into his arms, you could easily have saved that until sweeps, giving bits of herself to him inch in increasingly intimate ways until there was a kiss around, say, when you go for Christmas break, and then they’re nothing serious, we swear, this is a natural extension of our working relationship, until the season finale when there’s some big dramatic bang and then they’re official, and you can spend the next season dealing with the fallout and then if you have a seven-season plan, wham bam thank you ma’am, you tie it up in the season seven finale, final bow, bravo. Excellent pacing, mon ami.

But right now with Booth’s new girl Hannah (Katheryn Winnick), you’re losing me. You promised me I’d love her and so I was waiting to meet her, only I don’t love her. I hate her. She’s so … obnoxiously perky and full of herself and her voice really irritates me and how does she have some afternoon delight with Booth and still look that perfect? She’s just so pretty and empty and blah. I want to trust you. I so very badly want to trust you, Hart Hanson, but the way you are making Booth and Brennan, two very intelligent individuals, act like ridiculous highschoolers.

I discussed last week that Brennan, in testing Booth to see if he could retain feelings for her for seven months, was being immature, though at least explicably so, considering Brennan’s past. I don’t think she’s emotionally mature enough to deal with this situation, as much as she’s struggling to, and it physically hurts to watch her try. And it makes Booth look even more ridiculously obtuse. I spent pretty much the entire episode doing my best Sassy Gay Friend impersonation. Seeley Booth, what are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?

Okay, so Brennan couldn’t have made it easier that she was putting Booth to a test if she held up a huge poster. Well, it couldn’t have been clearer to me. My being able to tell this may have something to do with my girl parts, because when I was discussing this with Ivey he was all, “Girls don’t really do that, do they?” and then I laughed at him a lot. Oh, Ivey. Girls do that all the time. And oh boy, did Booth fail spectacularly. He was away for seven months. He couldn’t have kept it in his pants for seven months? And it’s not like he was in Miami Beach, he was in Afghanistan. It takes effort to find a hot young journalist thing in Afghanistan. The odds of them falling in your lap are pretty damn slim. And then, he comes back, tells Brennan surprise! He’s totally over her, like he’s never met her or her insecurities, which we all know is blatantly untrue.

Anyways, so he fails, and not only does he fail, but he fails in a way that’s as humiliating for Brennan as he can possibly make it — parading Hannah around in front of her, swearing that he’s in love with her, saying that it’s okay for Hannah to leave, since he really loves Hannah, but implying that his own failure to give Brennan space meant he didn’t love her … yowch. And he doesn’t even have the decency to really seem to like this girl or believe his own hype about how great she is. Instead he sounds and acts aggrieved and overly defensive, which is the worst. It would be one thing if he was blissful, at least then there would be some measure of happiness for him, but to move on and clearly be uncomfortable leavings this giant chasm of hope you can never hope to get rid of or get over, because the possibility is always there, teasing you, making you think oh, but he was so much happier with me. And him not telling Hannah about the situation? Utterly unacceptable. It was unacceptable enough to start something serious without mentioning there was this woman who was kind-of waiting for him and oh yeah, she’s his partner, but it was even worse when he lied to Hannah’s face and said nothing was going on.

At this point, I am doubting Sweets’ abilities as a psychiatrist, considering he’s not stepping into the whole situation, or even raising an objection. Sweets might have believed Booth’s whole spiel about how much he loved Hannah in the car, Bones might buy it, but I don’t. And what’s worse, Booth doesn’t. Hannah’s someone he should love for logical reasons and inexplicably doesn’t. He sounds like he’s convincing himself. And it’s absolutely maddening. I think Clark and I will start a club where we sit and vent our frustrations, because by God, am I frustrated.

Look, Hart Hanson, this is an uncomfortable, unnatural position for me. I do not like being in this position where I disagree with you. I don’t think I’ve been in this position since you broke up Hodgins and Angela. You have never truly let me down before, though, so please. I am begging you. Do something. Make this up to me.  For the love of God, fix this mess of I-don’t-even-know-what, because it sitting there is really starting to tick me off.

Photo Credit: Fox

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11 Responses to “Bones – Three is a super-uncomfortable crowd”

October 1, 2010 at 12:22 PM

I pretty much agree that this is a frustrating place to be. I’d rather see it all wrap up the way that you said. But I think that you’re being a little bit hard on Booth. I’m not sure that it was an intentional test on Brennan’s part, but even if it was, it is certainly not a fair one. Life’s not fair, I know. Really, though, Booth offered her everything and she said no, I can’t. She didn’t say no, not now, maybe later, I’m not ready, I *want to* but can’t. He knows her issues and probably figured that some of that was unspoken, but he had to make a decision about whether or not he should try to wait. He felt he couldn’t do that. So he went away and happened to find something that he was looking for, or he wants to think he’s found it.

I’m not trying to say he’s entirely in the right. His declaration to Brennan was without much warning, or rather was fairly confrontational, and he didn’t give her much time to absorb it more. And now he’s being silly, what with not telling Hannah anything, and not at least approaching the situation a little more reservedly in front of people, since he should be picking up on the uncomfortableness of it all. I’m just inclined to cut him a bit more slack on the failing of a test front. He did say, after all, that he was going to go out and find someone he could be with. Brennan never tried to stop him. In some ways, you could say that she failed a test in that regard.

October 1, 2010 at 12:34 PM

She’s not kidding. She laughed so much I almost curled up into a ball and cried. Well, maybe not that much, but still.

I don’t share Julia’s hatred of Hannah, but to me, she’s an unnecessary evil, as my thoughts about keeping these two apart is fairly well on the record at this point (Hence Julia, and her until-now sycophant-esque support of Hart Hanson). I do recognize that where someone like Sully was an obstacle for the sake of an obstacle, Hannah is around to teach Bones a lesson (Metaphorically).

Either way, and this is not Hannah-related in the least, but this episode was so much better, as a whole, than last week’s outing.

October 1, 2010 at 12:49 PM

You say sycophant, I say you have sour grapes.

In a loving way?

October 1, 2010 at 7:49 PM

Maybe :P

I wonder, if I were to re-post my review of the 100th episode now, after the finale and the first couple of episodes back, how the reaction from the Internets would be.

October 1, 2010 at 1:51 PM

Sing it. Booth needs a Sassy Gay Friend to take him aside and explain what an enormous tool he’s being right now.

October 1, 2010 at 5:29 PM

Empty and blah is also how I would describe the whole show time now. So so sad.

October 1, 2010 at 7:14 PM

I really love you right now. That is all.

I’m not watching anymore of this horrible storyline. I’m so out. Ugh.

October 2, 2010 at 4:48 AM

Tune in next season to see which show is keeping Ivey and Julia apart *snicker*

I love that you guys still care so much about this show. I know a couple of women who feel the same about Grey’s, they think that it’s still a good show too, no matter that there aren’t any combinations of people left who could sleep with each other. Bones is kind of the opposite but not concerning overall intelligence of the reasons why but why not.

October 5, 2010 at 2:06 PM

First-time poster here and I have to say that I just loved your review. I’ve never really thought about it like that but it’s probably true that (a) there was a test somewhere in there (not that Brennan was actually aware of it, IMO she’s so blissfully unaware of her own feelings sometimes I want to shake her a little) and Booth did fail it with flying colours and (b) Hannah’s a very good example of the unnecessary plot device. Since we’re on (b), I really don’t understand what’s happened with Booth: his determination to move on makes him practically obnoxious and I’m not sure how the writers will dig themselves out of this particular hole. They’re essentially writing a totally different character, which makes me wonder whether they can plausibly give us the ‘real ‘ Booth – the one we know and love – back at some point. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Thanks!

December 10, 2010 at 9:08 PM

the show has a “not real” feeling to it. the characters are all there, but the show is just… not. booth has gone from being sweet and charming to being a complete rude jerk. hannah may not be a bimbo but she looks like one and i can’t stand her voice. also, when booth and bones agreed to meet at the reflecting pool in one year at the end of season 5, booth gave bones the impression that he was giving her time to make up her mind. then he brings this…woman back with him. hello! what if brennan had indeed changed her mind? at the very least, booth is a gigantic liar. and i believe he cheated on bones,because even if they have never actually been lovers physically, they certainly had been involved in an affair of the heart. simply put, i’m angry, the show’s boring, totally robbed of it’s character, hannah sucks, booth is a jerk who apparently had a lobotomy in afghanistan and sweets needs to step in and call crazy on all of it. i’m not sure how to fix this huge mess. the only thing i can think of is to have hannah turn out to be secretly using booth to get to brennan for some reason. then hannah could abduct brennan and booth would have to get her (brennan) back. other than that, as ridiculous as it would be, stage a “bobby in the shower”. maybe booth is still in a coma and this is all a dream. maybe it’s bones nightmare. i think the term “jumped the shark” applies to this show.

January 17, 2011 at 12:36 PM

eydie, I’m with you! I used to be obsessed with this show! What happend to the whole “People leave marks on each other.” Booth what happend to that! Booth just went and took a Hannah bath and washed those marks right off! I know he was hurt, I know he said he had to move on, but most people don’t move on from someone they have loved for years in such a short time.

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