As you may have read already, Deb McDuffee’s attempt at “Never Fail Fudge” failed miserably. There were probably many factors to this — weather, age, alien invasion, philosophic ramblings about the threshold of pain evaporated milk can maintain while being boiled. The most important of these factors is… she did it wrong.
The secret to “Never Fail Fudge” is, if you follow the directions, it never fails. Oh, it may not feel and taste like the fudge you get at the boardwalk on a hot July day, but it’s certainly close. Come, let’s take a look at the recipe and see what happened.
First, here’s the recipe for “Never Fail” white chocolate fudge (based on this one):
Never Fail White Chocolate Fudge
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Ingredients:
First, doubling the recipe was probably not a good idea. For some reason, when you multiply ingredients in baking, particularly when it involves sugar, the results turn out badly. Best thing to do in this case is to make two separate batches. That way, if one goes terribly wrong you can potentially salvage the second batch.
To start the recipe you mix the first five ingredients together and stir them over low heat until well blended. The next two steps are the most important. Once the mixture is well blended you want to get it to boil over moderate heat. During this process you want to make sure that you’re not confusing air bubbles from boiling. Normally, the air bubbles will be larger and take more time to pop then what you would see during the boiling process. In this step the best thing to do is let your nose do the work; if you start to smell even a hint of burning you need to move to the next step.
Which is stepping into Harry Potter’s shoes, and stir that concoction up like you were making Polyjuice Potion. You need stir constantly for 5 minutes — not stir once in awhile, not stir for only two minutes. Constantly. Five minutes. If you absolutely need to double all the ingredients make it ten minutes. The mixture will change color, so don’t be afraid. And the soft ball test… screw that! Again, go with what you see in the saucepan and what you smell.
After five minutes, get that bad boy off the heat and add the vanilla and chips. Unless you want a pile of goo in the middle of your saucepan don’t add the entire package of chips at once. Add them in a little at a time in order for melting to occur evenly. Once the chips are completely melted you can pour the contents into a greased pan (13X9X2 works well) and let it cool. Don’t put it in the refrigerator immediately after pouring. In fact, there’s no need to refrigerate it all! Just wait until it completely hardens, about 30 minutes, then cut and serve.
There you are! The secrets to “Never Fail Fudge”. Debbie, I’ll be waiting for your report on the next, and correctly prepared, batch.
Clacked by Richard Keller 
on Dec 22, 2009 @ 14:00 EST5EDT
