Welcome to Salivation Station. Turn the channel to Internet food video bites, for your one-way ticket to endless salivation.

I love spicy food. I love spicy stuff so much that I’m starting to wonder if I’m some sort of masochist, sometimes chomping into tiny, raw hot peppers just to see how hot they are. Probably the hottest pepper I’ve ever eaten raw was a Habanero, which is something between 100-350k on the Scoville scale. Really freaking hot … or at least I thought, until I read about the notorious Naga Jolokia pepper (sometimes also called the “Bhut Jolokia” or “Ghost” pepper). That sucker weighs in at over 1 million Scovilles!

This brave soul decided to take a Bhut Jolokia for a spin and post the video telling his gruesome tale. Stick around until the end — it’s worth it.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NNzI3RTZ7I

That mythical “Habanero Gold Bullet” he talks about appears to be somewhat real in that you can buy seeds for it. I’m tempted to buy the seeds and see if I can grow a plant. There goes that masochism again….

Do you have a favorite pizza sauce? As much as I love a good old fashioned red sauce pizza, I tend to detest jarred pizza sauces. They are never the right consistency for me (too smooth and runny) and they’re too salty.

I’ve gotten around that in a couple of different ways. Sometimes, I’ll just use canned tomato sauce with no salt added and dress it up with a little garlic powder, oregano, basil and freshly ground black pepper. Other times, I’ll drain a can of diced tomatoes, pulse them a bit in my food processor and add the herbs and spices.

I’ve found a video (thanks YouTube!) that demonstrates how to make the world’s easiest tomato sauce for pizza. It’s one of those, “Why didn’t I think of that?” moments as you watch it, but then you realize that unless you are fond of digging into a can of gourmet Italian tomatoes and squeezing shamelessly that it probably wouldn’t have occurred to you.

Nevertheless, this is probably the perfect pizza sauce if you’re looking for taste and texture along with ease and speed. Try it — just wash your hands first.

I love bacon. So do you. Yes, you do. Yeah, even you Kona, though they call that “faken.” Alright, now I just lost my appetite. But not for bacon.

One of the problems with at least traditional bacon is the big mess it makes. It’s messy taking it out of the package. It’s messy cooking it. It’s messy cleaning up from it. Hell, it’s messy eating the stuff. Some people microwave it, covered in paper towels. Others will fry it up in a pan with the stove exhaust on full blast. Why is it that we love bacon again? Oh yeah, it tastes freakin’ awesome.

Here’s a gadget I happened upon on YouTube some time ago that is both brilliant and downright gross. The WowBacon Microwave Cooker is basically a microwave-safe drink pitcher with hangers for your slabs of bacon. Since they’re not laying in their own grease, there’s less mess and less fat on the meat. When the bacon’s cooked, you apparently pour the fat out into a jar for safe keeping. There goes that loss of appetite again.

Personally, I enjoy bacon more when it’s pan or griddle fried. Something about it just tastes better. Maybe it’s because the flavor is in that precious grease I’d be eliminating by using the “scientifically enclosed” WowBacon.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwgA5wOu7S0

Video Jug’s tutorial on how to eat sushi (embedded after the jump) is a complete hoot. It’s organized into steps, from the place setting, the sake and the green tea, to rubbing together the chopsticks to get rid of the splinter hazard possibilities and exactly — I mean exactly! — how to dip your fish into the soy sauce.

I have never, ever in my life met anyone who approached sushi so seriously. It borders on the creepy, and you might just think it was a spoof video if you didn’t know better. But you know what? This video is not only spot-on accurate, but it’s darned useful if you find a sushi meal intimidating.

My favorite parts are the warnings on how not to offend your host. Why not be the host — you know it won’t be a stuffy occasion that way! Now, the commenters over on Video Jug were a bit harsh, even questioning the accuracy of some of the facts presented in the video. I say if you like extra wasabi, add it — put it in your soy sauce, plop it on your fish, mash it into your rice. Who cares, as long as you chew with your mouth closed and enjoy every bite!

Back to the serious … it reminds me of the old video tutorials on workplace etiquette, most recently enjoyed on Lost, when they found the old Dharma Initiative videos in the hatch, or the spoofs on That ’70s Show, you remember the ones.

Regardless, it’s an informative four minutes that completely takes the joy out of the sushi experience, yet you can’t help but love it in that twisted way you have. You know how you can be. Watch it, laugh, then eat your sushi, perhaps a little more aware of how you dip your fish….

Dining Etiquette: How To Eat Sushi

I am a genius. I have know this for years. I do love it when I get the chance to prove to others that I am a genius, though.

Way back in the dark ages, when I was a young strapping lad in college (yeah that’s right — I am your worst nightmare; I am a Redneck with an education and I am not afraid to use it.), my room mate Mark and I worked very hard to make sure we did not have to do dishes very often. We used metal pie plates to not only cook in, but to then eat from. We were fortunate that we lived right next door to a KFC, and just half a block from a Pizza place. We would eat a lot of pizza because everything was there. We had a serving platter and plates and the main course, all in a convenient carry out container.

We would cut the box lid off and cut it into quarters for plates. On the rare occasion there was any pizza left over we would cut down the bottom of the box to store the leftovers in the fridge. We did this not so much to keep the pizza from drying out but more because we did not have a fridge big enough to fit a full-size pizza box. The only mistake I made was not getting a patent on my invention. Who new in 1983 that the environmental movement would become what it has. Not only am I a genius, I am a visionary too. I invented eco-friendly and didn’t even know it. This video from you tube is all the proof you need.

Yea I know. you are all lucky to know me too.

I admit it — I’ve got a bit of a girl crush on Heidi Swanson. It’s not physical; in fact, I barely know what she looks like (well, before watching this video anyway). I love Heidi for her mind and her palate. Thanks Bob, for introducing me to the world of Heidi Swanson via her cookbook, Super Natural Cooking: Five Ways To Incorporate Whole and Natural Ingredients into Your Cooking – a great Christmas gift!

Naturally, I have since devoured her blog, 101 Cookbooks, in addition to the cookbook.

So imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon a video — yeah, a video! — on Heidi’s blog, demonstrating how to make Big Sur power bars. I’m always on the lookout for a good power bar recipe, for a number of reasons:

• Most store-bought power bars use isolated soy protein as an ingredient, and I don’t make it a habit to eat unfermented soy regularly, for health reasons.
• Owen, the four-year-old, has multiple food allergies, and finding a store-bought power bar without wheat, certain nuts and said soy protein is a tall order.
• Added sugar is just plain unnecessary when you’re talking about good, wholesome ingredients blended together, and so many store-bought power bars are full of the stuff.
• Hydrogenated wha…?

Anyway, you get the point. Although Heidi’s recipe wasn’t perfect, it inspired me, and the inspiration is all about the video. I have a confession to make: although I’ve been collecting power bar recipes, I’ve never made one, because they look like such a huge undertaking. I could never quite get up the nerve to try it.

Watching Heidi’s video has shown me that making your own power bars is probably one of the simplest things you can do. What was I waiting for, a hand-engraved invitation? No, but apparently a how-to video needed to come my way….