American Idol season 13 preview

In the middle of dinner the other night the subject of television came up. One of my dinnermates commented: “I was subject to a program called Extreme Cheapskates or some such the other day. You wouldn’t believe the things the people on that show do to save a penny …”

Another stated: “Award season is coming quickly, you know …”

“… as are the Olympics …” said a third.

“Hey … isn’t American Idol starting soon?” one of them asked.

“Yup, yup. Next week as a matter’n fact …” I chimed in.

Someone coughed and spoke in turn: “There are too many damned song and dance shows on the boob tube. Especially those singing competitions. I can’t keep track of them and really don’t care to. I don’t know why in the world you watch Idol, Michael …”

“Here … I’ll show you why.” I wiped my mouth, sat back and pointed a finger at the person sitting directly across from me: “I happen to know you watch Idol. That being said, I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts you can name five American Idol winners without even thinking about it. And you …” I shot my finger 30 degrees to my left to my friend who questioned my viewership of the show “… I’d be willing to bet you can do same … and you don’t even watch Idol …”

The first person shot out the names Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Scott McCreary, Phillip Phillips and Clay Aiken out her mouth in rapid-fire succession without even blinking.

“Close enough,” I said approvingly. “Clay didn’t win, he was a runner-up … but he made a career for himself anywho …”

I looked to my left.

“Well … there’s that big dude on America’s Biggest Weight Loser thing … Bubba Smith? No, wait … Ruben Stewart …”

“Studdard,” I corrected.

“… and the Soul Patrol guy … Taylor Swift …”

“Taylor Hicks,” I corrected again.

” … hmmmmm … Oh, that Fantasialand chick who starred on Broadway …”

“Yes … Fantasia. Congratulations, folks. You’ve just made me a happy camper. Now … to further prove my point, name any winner on any other singing competition such as The X Factor or The Voice …”

Dead. Silence. For an entire minute.

“And there you go. That, right there, is one of the many reasons I watch American Idol …”

Yes folks, everyone’s favorite whipping boy (… I mean … “reality singing competition”) American Idol is coming round for its “lucky” 13th season, complete with a new dynamic (well … kinda) a revamped line up behind the judge’s table (again, kinda), a new mentor (not so much) and enough drama (in other words: same old same old) to keep things lively right into the May sweeps.

Definitive format changes are in the cards (less audition ear strain and clipped inanity, for examples) courtesy of the all-producers of Idol (one of which, David Hill, who has run Fox’s sports wing for a couple generations) as are some tightening of the sails on how the auditions and more come across to the viewing public. All this as a direct result of declining ratings over the years … not to mention the circus atmosphere Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey contributed last year which often overshadowed the contestants.

In case you haven’t heard, the judges for this season are basically the same … but they’re not. Keith Urban — well received from last year’s stint — returns. Jennifer Lopez makes an encore appearance after taking last year off … and thank heaven she’s back instead of flamboyant, clownish Minaj or the listless, life-draining Carey. (I can’t say I’m doing back flips over JLo’s return, but she beats those other two by miles when it comes to critiquing. And I’ve learned to tolerate her. Mostly. As long as she curbs her use of “amazing” …) And new judge Harry Connick, Jr. (with his faithful following and respectable career) makes his debut as an Idol judge for the first time. (Many of us have been commenting for years he should join the ranks of the judging staff. And this year? It’s become a reality.) And former judge and Idol stalwart Randy Jackson? He’s now mentor to the hopefuls, replacing Jimmy Iovine. (I think everyone is going to miss Jimmy …) Lastly, my little buddy Ryan Seacrest (who I fondly refer to as “Seacrust”) will return as host (and sometimes straight man). I can always (yes … I used “always”) rely on Dave Clark’s protege to bring some unexpected monkey business to the show as he’s done in past seasons … sometimes on purpose, sometimes inadvertently.

But, if you think Idol has lost its momentum, you’ve obviously not been keeping score with the show of late. Just last year we had what was far and away one of the best Idol auditions ever. Additionally, I thought Phillip Phillip’s audition was intriguing. (It was. Really.) And the American Idol faithful — myself included — are more than curious how the producers’ cleaned up ship and various changes will maneuver through the rough waters of audition hopefuldom. A lot to look forward to, don’t you think?

Meanwhile, I have a question for you before we get to the the two-night premiere this week: Have you come up with even one name of any winner from The Voice or The X Factor?

No … I didn’t think so …

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