As I suspected, she romanticised the abuse Ana suffered by using the “broken people” excuse. All abusers are broken, that doesn’t mean that you can, or should, let them abuse you until they’re put back together again. It doesn’t work that way. Jax, for all of his many, many faults, is presented as a felon who is going to destroy himself, his kids and his wife’s lifetime of hard work by being Jax and she knows it and he knows it. How they try to get themselves out of the hack job they’ve made of their lives is part of the story. Christian is just a sick SOB who has convinced an unworldly girl that intimidation and manipulation are offshoots of love because, hey, he’s broken. He’s doing the best he can. At least Jax, as much of a menace as he is to everyone else, tries in his jacked up way to protect people he loves.

And I saw Undeclared too, I loved that show, Floyd is awesome !! Now, I’m big fan of Charlie, and can’t wait to see him as CG.

PS.: The film “Frankie Go Boom” is hilarious, mainly knowing SoA. I laugh so hard seeing Ron Perlman as a transsex flirting with Frankie (Charlie). The whole movie is great. It’s priceless to see “Jax” as pillion ride of a scooter.

I do not think Ana is abused. I do not think Ana was raped. I think Ana fell in love with an emotionally fractured man and made some tough choices on how to deal with it. I don’t the Christian is a true Dom and I know Ana is not a sub. I think that these two people are examples of what happens when love someone who is fundamentally broken. For all his wealth Christians need for control stemmed from feeling inadequate as a child and having that preyed on by a pedophile.

Yes, Ana walked a tight rope with him, because when you love someone who is damaged you have to learn when to stir the kettle of crazy and when to let it boil. She always fought the big battles with him and conceded the ones she felt ok with compromising. Is it ideal? Nope. Is there a thread of honesty? Yes. But most importantly it’s all fiction.

As to Jax as a character. I have some personal experience with men like him. It is also a choice. You know going in faithfulness is difficult at best because of the power the wield. I think Charlie Hunnam said it best in an interview that men like Jax are usually gentlemen. They understand that their decisions often carry the weight if life or death and so they are careful with their actions.

I took that to mean they are gentlemen with those they love and their families. I’m sure I’m in the minority, but I understand Tara’s decisions to stay and possibly leave and the stress of loving someone so dangerous. But rest assured that men like Jax who choose to have families can’t be that person without consent and support. Family is what grounds them. If that goes then the gloves come off and the behavior is multiplied.

This post is just words, millions of Shades of Grey books sold is action. Action shows true feelings, words are just lies one tells to oneself. Men need to learn from that: Nice bodies, bad character – not the other way around.

As I am in a BDSM dynamic/relationship, I know that those books do not describe what BDSM is. I also have had been in an abusive relationship in the past. I can say honestly that I had the same mindset as Ana when I was in the abusive relationship. I was scared of saying the wrong thing, incase he did something terrible. He made me terrible for having my own life. In my current non-vanilla relationship, it’s the healthiest relationship I have had.

Plus, she describes him spanking or anything kink related, with heavy words, as in she is getting assaulted or abused. Which if you are thinking or using those types of words to describe your relationship. You need to take a fucking step back.

Seeing the people who defend Christian, the very man who buys the company in which Ana works in, just so he can keep a eye on her. States that she shouldn’t drive, even though she is an adult and can drive. Admits fully that he only enjoys beating women because they look like his crack whore mother, dictates how she eats and who she talks to. FINALLY, he gets angry at HER for her own boss sexually harrassing her.Makes me want to eat my own face due to the amount of stupidity.

Honestly, all mighty defenders of 50SOG trilogy. When this all happens to you, get back to me and tell me what a fucking magical romantic experience it was.

Also, the general “it’s only fiction” argument is void because people are easily influenced by books and media. So you will get people who will see this as a how to manual.

Finally. I would like to say, I love this Kona and I am a huge fan of you Jenny.

The entire trilogy treats BDSM like it’s a symptom of mental illness. For those of us actually in the lifestyle– that is, those of us who did not get introduced to BDSM through 50SOG– these books are horrifying examples of real life abuse that we see within the community over and over again. A man who believes that being a Dom means treating a woman like a mindless fuck toy, whether she wants that relationship or not. A man who will prey on naive, inexperienced women and gaslight them into believing that if they really, really loved their Dom, they would consent to things they don’t want to do. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to defend people in the lifestyle by using this book as an example. I have not met a single kinky person who wasn’t horrified by what they read in these books, because it reads like rape to people who actually understand what safe, sane, and consensual mean.

Christian Grey gets Ana drunk to gain her consent. He stalks her across the country when she asks him for space. He makes her feel guilty for using a safe word– because she should put his pleasure above her own safety, and would if she really loved him. He puts marks on her body to shame her into covering up “his” property. He makes a list of people who aren’t allowed access to Ana, a list that Ana doesn’t know about until near the middle of the final book. He meddles with her finances and keeps her prisoner in the interest of “protecting” her. Ana is afraid of him and makes vague statements about not knowing what he will do to her in various situations. And not in a sexy way. What more do you people need to understand that in any real life situation, this would be considered abuse? I get it, you read the book, it got your lady parts tingly, so now you think it’s the best damn thing ever. That does not mean Christian Grey is not an abuser.

And if you’re going to run around saying, “Why did Ana go back to him,” or “she wouldn’t have fallen for him if he was abusive,” then you know nothing about domestic violence. Go out, educate yourself about abuse. If you’re not willing to do that, then at least stop spouting what you think you know about the issue, because every time you put that thought out there “she wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if he were an abuser,” or “she wouldn’t go back to him if she didn’t want it,” you are furthering beliefs that harm women in real life. Are you seriously that deluded with love for a fictional character that real women dying are less important than your beloved Christian Grey? If that is the case, you might need to check your priorities.

I feel like most of the commenters on this post are in an abusive relationship with Christian “Gaslight” Grey.