Hankerin’ for a hunka Tillamook cheese

With people? You just never know.

That’s the beauty of people. We’re individuals with our own preferences, likes and dislikes, quirks and kinks.

And while I consider myself people — regardless of the fact several of my fellow CliqueClack colleagues think otherwise — I believe each and every one of us, as people, have the right to enjoy things that give us pleasant pause or that we gravitate toward.

Like, say … cheese for instance.

Me? I like cheese. I even love cheese at times. All kinds of cheese. I don’t consider myself a cheese freak or any sort of pretentious cheese connoisseur, but I do enjoy the stuff. Habanero jack cheese … a Jarlsberg accompanied with fruit … Muenster … some smoked black pepper variety … a good bleu … fresh Parmesan … a striking horseradish-infused jack … a dill Havarti. Mmmmmmmm … cheese.

Then? Going the opposite direction can yield other options as well. Avoiding objects or situations or particular choices we find displeasing can bring a certain amount of joy as well.

So when I saw a few of the new Tillamook County Creamery Association cheese ads which have recently sprung up on television, I was happy I had options in both the like and dislike departments, specifically to both enjoy and grimace equally at the spots.

When I was a kid, my friends and I would mimic the goings on we saw on television. (What kid didn’t?) Granted, some of those things weren’t at all possible … but many of them were. Yes, it was a simpler time, but kids today do the exact same things as we did back then. Take the commercial for the time-tested Slinky for example:

I know. Pretty tame stuff. No harm in wanting to run a Slinky down the stairs and make “Boing! Boing! Boing!” noises while doing so. Nothing that could really do an damage or harm beside a kid falling down the stairs … right?

It’s a given: There’s the likelihood you could crack and tooth aping Mr. Owl. But it didn’t stop us from chomping into Tootsie Pops, though. We survived.

Which leads me back to cheese and brings me back to the commercials for Tillamook. Here … let me show you what I mean …

Now, there’s nothing wrong with “canine-pomorphizing” a block of cheese. Cartoons and animation have being doing this and more for as long as the art form has been around. But … cripes and cripes! Seriously? Taking a chomp out of your dog’s ass?!? Mom and Dad wouldn’t be pleased if they caught their kid in like situation. And, while I’m jesting somewhat, I harken back to what kids do: They mimic stuff on TV. Not only could some tyke get in a lot of trouble for the attempt but could do major damage to their pet if they gave this a shot. You have to agree this is not the most responsible of commercial endorsements.

Mayhap the next is a bit tamer …

Whoops! I guess not! Did you count the number of slices that voracious kid on the left chowed down? Thirteen (count’em: 13!) freakin’ slices of cheese! Talk about some intestinal blockage making its way down the shoot! (And let’s not even consider the possibility of lactose intolerance and its rampant effects! Yikes!)

Lastly …

McWowZah! With my source being the conclusion of the ad, the cheese packaging states that block is a one pound brick of cheddar. And that kid wolfed it in one fell swoop! Stomach issues might not be the only thing to be concerned with. Can you say deadly esophageal obstruction?

I don’t know. You can you see my dilemma, can’t you? Vintage commercials and those I saw as a small fry may have been more gentle and meek, even all together boring. But some of the new crop of ads appear to push the boundaries of health safety and common sense.

And while I love the stark, simple, days-gone-by-feel Tillamook (and, specifically, the advertising firm of Leopold Ketel & Partners) has come up with, I bet I’m going to do a double take the next time I get a craving for a hunk of sharp cheddar. Those likes and dislikes are going come into play a bit more in light of these commercials. *sigh*