I am a pumpkin-guzzling beast

To many, the start of the Fall season means going back to school, wearing a light jacket or sweater, and feeling justified in ignoring your month-old pedicure. To me, it means all things pumpkin; most notably, coffee and beer.

Yesterday I tweeted: “Let’s be honest. Starbucks‘ ‘Reunite with Fall Flavors’ sign should just read, ‘Reunite with your reason to live.’ #pumpkinaddict”

It was sort of a joke, until I realized today that I was walking into my house with a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte in one hand and a box of Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin K-Cups in the other. And I’d done the drive-thru at Dunkin’ early that morning, too.

Part of me realizes that it’s the fact that I’ve just had a baby, and am very, very tired, that makes me more likely to succumb to coffee’s charms. But it’s not just any coffee. It’s that intoxicating pumpkin flavor.* I just can’t get enough of it!

My husband doesn’t share my sentiment for the pumpkin nectar. He says, “Why does Dunkin’ Donuts think that ‘pumpkin’ is the same thing as ‘nutmeg and allspice?’ The pumpkin coffee does not taste like pumpkin.”

Once he said that, I started to realize that he was right. But it still tastes damn good.

My husband does enjoy pumpkin beers, though, as do I. But do they taste more “pumpkiny” than the coffee? I don’t know. I may need your opinions on that one.

One thing I’ve noticed is that pumpkin came around a lot earlier this year. I savored my first sip in late August, which, even for me, is a bit too early. That’s the flavor equivalent of Costco stocking Christmas decorations in September (which I saw on Sunday, by the way). Personally, I think it would be more appropriate to roll pumpkin out after Labor Day and stop by Thanksgiving, when all the holiday lattes start coming out.

But I think I understand the early arrival, and I’ll compare it to something we’re all familiar with. You know how Friday is awesome, because it’s the start to the weekend, but sometimes Thursday night is even better, because you’re anticipating Friday? (Yes, how depressing that I’m mourning the end of the weekend before it begins!) Well, maybe people need pumpkin early, because it allows them to get excited for the holidays by anticipating the gingerbread lattes of Thanksgiving, and the peppermint lattes of Christmastime. It’s a little teaser that allows the holiday season to creep earlier and earlier into mid-year. And it makes sense to satisfy the masses early.

Because summer is wonderful for people just by definition. School’s out, many are on vacation, the smell of food cooking on the grill tantalizes us on an almost daily basis, and the mood is carefree. People get depressed after Labor Day — at least teachers like myself do. They need a reason to get up in the morning, to get through the day. Hence, the pumpkin latte and my half-serious tweet.

Dunkin’ Donuts, Starbucks, Caribou Coffee, and others have a whole “theme” going as well. Every time I pull up to the drive-thru (which, admittedly, is way too often), I see a big sign with a phrase like, “Pick Your Favorite Pumpkin,” or, as I referenced in my tweet, “Reunite With Fall Flavors.” And there’s a latte, a regular flavored coffee, an iced coffee — which just seems wrong — and a pumpkin treat, like a muffin, scone, or donut. Here’s a recent article about the “Pumpkin Wars” between popular coffee chains which made me laugh when it talks about pumpkin superfans who crashed an app meant to promote the flavor.

Now that I’ve done entirely too much analysis on why people love the pumpkin, I’m going to give you a list of my favorite pumpkin-flavored things!

In the Coffee Category:

First Place: Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte. A tad expensive, but it has the perfect mix of sweetness and spice, and even texture if you opt for the whipped cream and nutmeg. A real treat.

Second Place: Dunkin’ Donuts’ Pumpkin coffee (regular, with cream). You don’t need any sugar in this baby! It tastes a little less indulgent than the Starbucks latte, but really satisfies, especially since a medium (14 oz.) is a good two bucks less than a tall (12 oz.) at Starbucks. In fact, they don’t charge extra at all for the pumpkin syrup.

Third Place: Caribou Coffee’s Pumpkin Latte. Not as awesome, maybe even a little bitter, but still pretty good. Caribou also has a Pumpkin-flavored Chai as well as — get this — a Pumpkin White Chocolate Mocha (dare to guess how many calories are in that bad boy?! Yeah, neither do I).

Honorable mentions go to two coffee houses that are local to the Cleveland area: Erie Island Coffee Company in Rocky River and Loop in Tremont offer up a fantastic pumpkin latte as well.

In the Beer Category:

First Place: Southern Tier’s Pumking. This is generally touted as the cream of the crop when it comes to pumpkin beers (though I know a couple of people who say it’s too sweet). For me, the sweeter the better! My husband said that he tastes buttered popcorn (think of the Jelly Belly flavor). I guess I can see that. I still love it.

Second Place: Ace California‘s Pumpkin Cider. Not beer, technically, but still included. I love cider, and this is no exception. Again, it’s on the sweeter side — think Woodchuck rather than Magner’s.

Third Place: Hoppin’ Frog’s Frog’s Hollow Double Pumpkin Ale. A more balanced beer, with subtle notes of pumpkin instead of an overly sweet, in-your-face flavor. A crowd-pleaser.

So now that I’ve either turned you onto, or steered you away from, the pumpkin offerings of the season, you’ll be well-informed!

*Which, I’m sure, is entirely artificial. But I’m okay with that.