I am going to be completely up front with you right from the start. There will be no pussy-footing around. There will be a spoiler here because it’s completely unavoidable … even if it is one of the worst kept secrets in cinema history. But we’ll get to that.

Star Trek Into Darkness is a slam bang summer popcorn movie, no doubt about it. Once we get caught up on all of the established characters, the film goes into warp speed with one huge action-packed, special effects sequence after another. There is enough serious eye candy here to put you into filmic sugar shock. And for the die hard Trekkers, there are plenty of little things here and there to make you happy. Oh, look … a tribble! Bones mentions a Gorn. Christine Chapel’s name is brought up. Carol Marcus joins the crew. Klingons! More than a few Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan references, including …

Yes, here is the spoiler. Benedict Cumberbatch is indeed playing Khan. But this time, he ends up helping Kirk and company … or is he merely helping himself? That’s where things start to break down. You find yourself mesmerized by all the flash and things flying at your face in 3D, but after it’s all over you think to yourself, “Self, what exactly was the story?” And Khan isn’t the only bad guy in the movie (maybe he’s not bad, just misunderstood … and why does he look like Data?).

The plot, as I can remember, starts after a bombing at a Starfleet facility in London. Thought to be an archive, it’s really something much more dangerous. The culprit is former Starfleet officer John Harrison, who knows that all of the captains and first officers will be gathered in one place for a meeting which he crashes, literally, and kills enough people to really piss Kirk off.

Tracked to the Klingon world Chronos, Kirk is tasked with sneaking into Klingon territory and eliminating Harrison without starting an intergalactic war. Things don’t go as planned – is JJ Abrams setting up a Klingon confrontation for the next movie? – but Harrison is captured and he reveals himself to be the genetically superior Khan … who then reveals that Admiral Marcus, Carol’s father, has been preparing to initiate a war with the Klingons and that he will help Kirk stop the madness. But Khan also wants his 72 cryogenic pals in return. What could possibly go wrong?

Unfortunately, the plot really is convoluted and after a four year gestation, you’d think they could have really refined the script. But someone somewhere must have insisted on putting Khan into the film and aping many of the original second film’s most iconic moments. In trying to play too hard to the fans, the film seems to ultimately be pissing off a lot of them. Having been around since Star Trek‘s TV infancy through all the various shows and movies, I’m much too familiar with all of these little nods to Star Trek II and I actually found myself rolling my eyes at times. I’m not sure that having a history with the originals is helpful when seeing Into Darkness. You might need a little background on the Khan character, but not feeling like this is an almost remake of Wrath of Khan might make it more tolerable. I just hope that now that we’ve had Spock in the first film and Khan in the second – with both films setting a trajectory away from the original series timeline – Abrams and company will be able to truly boldly go where no one has gone before with an original Trek story that doesn’t rely on what came before.

But, even with all that criticism, I still enjoyed the ride that Abrams and the cast took us on. There are some great moments, a pretty funny red shirt joke, and a really terrific performance from Zachary Quinto. He certainly takes center stage in this film, and at times he really seems to be channeling Leonard Nimoy. The rest of the crew get their moments, and Chris Pine does have some Kirk swagger, but can we please allow Bones to speak in more than snappy one-liners? It does get a little tiresome, but at least Karl Urban does a great job with the delivery.

If you’re going into Star Trek Into Darkness hoping for a real hardcore Trek movie, you will most likely find yourself disappointed by the final results. The film really sacrifices what made Star Trek what it was by replacing any thoughtful moments of dialog with a loud explosion. However, if you’re just going in to see things blow up real good, then this is the movie for you. Star Trek Into Darkness is the perfect definition of a popcorn movie – very tasty in the moment, but nothing but empty calories when it’s done.

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