Let’s be real – anyone who watches awards shows for the actual awards is probably a masochist, because as Ron Swanson has so rightly pointed out, they never go to the right people. But there is one reason I think we can all agree we watch awards shows – to judge what people (and by “people” I mean “women”, because suits are boring) are wearing.

I always, when judging, like to start with the good, though I’m unsure about Michelle Dockery‘s dress, which I have saved and labeled as “horramazing.” The gold I-think-it’s-lace is gorgeous, but it’s odd. First of all, it’s too high, and no one looks good in a turtleneck. (See also: what Kristen Bell was wearing.) But then it also doesn’t go down far enough on her body.  It should either end just above her bust or at her waist, and instead it floats in a weird rib nether region. It should be horribly unflattering and I should just put it away in the bad section, except… she looks gorgeous in it. Which is hardly a fair metric on Michelle Dockery, who would look gorgeous and poised in a potato sack, but she looks especially lovely. So who am I to judge, really? (I ask rhetorically as I prepare to continue to judge for the rest of this column.)

Here’s what I like about Kerry Washington‘s dress; not only is it fabulous, but it illustrates an excellent point, which is that there are some things white people should just not attempt. Call and response, for example, is something white people can’t really get away with. Another thing white people cannot get away with, though lord knows people have been trying and trying for the last five years, is the whole nude/taupe/old silly putty color dresses trend. You need skin pigment for that to provide contrast. You need, in short, to be as fabulous as Kerry Washington. And my, but doesn’t she look fabulous.

I realize right now that my bias is probably showing when I say that both Tina Fey and Amy Poehler looked (and were) flawless all night long, but they really were. Not only do they deserve all the praise that’s been raining in on them, but their stylists deserve big, fat raises. In particular, I thought Amy’s chic little suit (love a lady in a chic suit) on the red carpet and Tina’s sparkly presenting dress (she has never looked hotter) were the winners of the evening. Applause all around, ladies, now please host every awards show ever, and thanks.

As for the bad and/or ugly — I know I’m going straight into controversial territory putting Lucy Liu’s dress in this category. In my defense, I’ve been swinging back and forth on this one. On one hand, it’s great to see a print, she certainly doesn’t look boring, I love her hair, and Lucy Liu is another person you can stick in a potato sack and she’d still look gorgeous. The problem is, my initial reaction was “ick”, and I just can’t shake it. Yes, it’s a print, but it’s an ugly, cheap-looking, faux-baroque print that I think my grandmothers both had embroidered and framed in their living rooms at some point. As much as I love the hair, it looks sloppy paired with the dress. The combination makes me want to break into “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music. That’s never a good sign. Out.

Look, Lena Dunham, I’ve watched enough Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids to know that sometimes you have to buy these big, fancy numbers that are insanely unflattering and you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in, but you do it because you love the person getting married and want to be in their wedding. And that’s fine, but did you have to wear one of those dresses, butterfly boobs, hip panels, and all on the read carpet? Waste not, want not is a virtue, but this dress is a waste. I mean, there’s always the chance you actually liked the dress and thought it was flattering on you, but I think my explanation is less of a stretch.

My mother always raised me to believe that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, to not say anything at all. Of course, this was in the Stone Age before blogging, but I still like to try to follow that advice. So instead of commenting on the worst-tailored dress of all time or the monstrosity that is whatever that hairstyle is Jessica Chastain is sporting, I’m just going to say this: that color is lovely on you, Jess. It really is.

Halle Berry, JLo circa 2002 called. First of all, she’s concerned you’ve been wearing the same dress for roughly ten years. Second of all, even she doesn’t want this particular dress back.

In order to appeal to most television viewers, networks must be diverse. Well, at least that’s what I always believed. If you take a look at some of the programs of the past, that statement may not ring to be so true. However, if one was to truly examine the current lineup on primetime, they may be in for a colorful awakening. As someone that writes about ethnic diversity in Hollywood, it pleases me to see a broad spectrum of programming on television today. In fact, I honestly can’t recall a season as culturally varied as this one.

Oh, crap — am I in The Twilight Zone? Nah, perchance network executives are finally realizing that it’s 2012. Just take a look at FOX. I’ve never really been a fan of the station — especially after they pulled the plug on Arrested Development. Nevertheless, with the recent inclusion of The Mindy Project, my unenthusiastic views on FOX may just change. Not only is a minority the lead — Mindy Kaling of Bengali descent — but she’s a woman. That’s like two for the price of one! Heck, that’s better than a discount at your local Walgreens! Way to go, FOX!

And while I’m handing out accolades, I think that NBC deserves some with the success of Community, a sitcom that really has a racially diverse (and super talented) cast. Donald Glover can do no wrong, and Danny Pudi is comedic gold. I’m feeling a little generous so I’ll also dish out some love to CBS for casting Lucy Liu, a Chinese woman, in the role of Watson in Elementary, a modern day take on Sherlock Holmes … and before you gasp at that revelation, here’s something else to applaud — after Regis Philbin retired from Live!, he was replaced by Michael Strahan … a Black dude!

Feel free to clutch your pearls.

Okay, enough humor. On a serious note, I couldn’t be happier. Perhaps colorful programming is the new trend. Heck, it’s about damn time. However, that certainly doesn’t mean that these shows are above cancellation. After all, it takes views to keep a program on the air … or does it? According to Entertainment Weekly, ABC just pulled the plug on Last Resort, a drama about a naval force, which starred the brown-skinned Andre Braugher. The show averaged over nine million viewers. Last time I checked that was pretty solid … but what do I know? The network also terminated 666 Park Avenue with my wife — although she never acknowledges our marriage in interviews — Vanessa Williams.

Sorry, Vanessa. I love you, but your show sucked.

While I’m bummed about Last Resort (and content with Avenue), it just goes to show that programs with minorities could use support. Tune in, people! Watch the show! Support it by giving it a chance. We can’t complain about not having enough shows with minorities if we’re not making an effort to watch the ones that we do have. I’m just sayin’. Still, it’s nice to know that networks are at least trying to meet us halfway. I’ve been rather impressed with some of the colorful fare that they’ve had to offer this season.

So, what does this say about society? Does this mean that we are actually moving forward? Well, I’d like to think so. The fact of the matter is that America is diverse and colorful. To that end, I feel that television shows should reflect that. I’m not a rocket scientist by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it’s safe to say that we’re moving in the right direction and pressing on to a more colorful future. Television is changing.

Color me intrigued.

Do you enjoy reading Clacking in Color? Jaylen sure as hell hopes so. Keep up with his opinions and ponderings  by following him on Twitter @thesuperflynerd!