As was typical for a season finale, American Idol padded the two hour’s worth of show in an attempt to close it out in grand fashion. In the process, they stumbled and fell spectacularly with one particular faux pas.

And that faux pas wasn’t the awful jacket Randy Jackson wore. (He had to have picked that up at “The Eyesore Store” …)

And it wasn’t the gratuitous flailings of the return of Jennifer Lopez to the Idol stage.

And it wasn’t the final song Candice Glover and Kree Harrison sang together to end the night, proving The Powers That Be continue to call on oldies which are unconnectable with the viewing audience. (One Less Bell To Answer and A House Is Not A Home … ??? Deciding to showcase those songs was one prime example why Idol has lost viewership. They bordered on cheestastic. Leading directly into the winner’s announcement, the final tunes should have been upbeat and should have left the audience on its feet cheering. Being somber was not the order of the evening.)

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBC87KYkz18

It wasn’t even the gaudy “make-sure -you-use-the-entire-roll-of-double-sided-tape!” outfit Jesse J. wore on stage during her duet with Angie Miller. (Note: I didn’t know bare legs could go up that far and still be flaunted in front of a live studio audience with kids present.)

The faux pas of the evening was Mariah Carey’s performance. Or “performance” I should say … such that it was.

Yep. No matter how hard she tried, The Diva lip-sunk herself right into a hole she couldn’t climb out of. And it was painful to watch. Really painful. It’s one thing to lip-sync, another to do it well at the very least. But there were many moments when Carey wasn’t even trying to do a good job of it. She phoned that execution in. And as technical a performer as she’s said to be, I found her time on stage disappointing in the extreme. Her over-the-top British accent and hair flipping at the judges’ table throughout the season were bad enough. But her “performance” was deplorable. And no … I’m not going to post it here. It’s not worth the effort.

Not a good way to go out, Idol. Not a good way to go out at all. (Well … maybe it was for Nicki Minaj. It seems she may have gotten the last laugh on the season-long Carey/Minaj catfight.)

P.S. Congratulations on the win, Candice.

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More of the same old same old on this week’s double dose of “everyone’s” favorite singing competition. (And *whew* … weren’t all of us glad Thursday’s episode got trimmed to a single hour? Thanks, Idol Powers That Be!) That is … until after the much ballyhoo’d Nicki Minaj exit during the Charlotte auditions.

You read that right: After that exit … not the exit itself. Minaj’s ruckusy departure was rather anti-climactic in that it was the result of her being “dogpiled” by the other judges, not as a result of a solitary spat with Carey as we’ve been led to believe by the world-wide publicity machine. It was hokey, it was dumb and it was empty. (I could go on, but I’ll stop now.)

The “interesting moment” I refer to in the title of this post came post-Brandy Hamilton audition. It came after Minaj was placated and she had returned to the group and been party to the hopeful’s audition: “Please don’t fight. It makes me sad,” Hamilton told the group. That was the kicker for me, better than the scene earlier between the four of them that caused Minaj’s walkout in the beginning.

That was the moment which made you stop to see if there would be any reaction from anyone.  As it turned out, barely. It did cause Minaj to think for all of a few seconds, but what thoughts might have rattled around in her Reflex blue-covered head is anybody’s guess. There was a glimmer of consideration (remorse?) going on there, however … you could tell. But could it have also made her colleagues reflect on the consequences of their actions going forward? Wouldn’t that be nice? (Don’t hold your breath.)

It was one of those moments during an American Idol telecast where you cheered the competitor wildly. And not necessarily because of the performance. You cheered because, innocent though she may have been, she had more brains at that particular moment than both Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey combined. You cheered because she had more wealth in those two little sentences than both the celebrities are making for their appearances on Idol this season. ($20 million combined, if you don’t already know.) You cheered because Ms. Hamilton had the good fortune of unintentionally making the both of them look like spoiled-rotten brats in mere seconds. And on national television, even.

Nicki? You’re getting $12 million to do a job. Do your job. Without all the hullabaloo. Mariah? You’re getting that and 1/3 more to do the same. Do your job.

The fact of the matter is the two of them won’t retain that little lesson Brandy Hamilton pleaded at them. They both stopped and thought about what transpired for only that moment in time. It won’t be remembered and it won’t make any difference. Doing so would be beneath them.

That’s how spoiled-rotten brats react.

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I’m not afraid or ashamed to admit I regularly enjoy drama within my day. (Have we met? I do work with the CliqueClack staff, after all. *sidelong glances at An and Jeremy and Ivey as they walk down the hall*)

Now, many people enjoy drama … so long as they’re not dropped smack dab in the middle of it. Some like a little drama: gossip about a neighbor or co-worker, someone making a scene at Starbucks because their half carafe of soy free latte venti monkey mocha isn’t mocha-y enough. Others enjoy something a little more meaty: drama that drops the jaw, drama that turns heads, drama that makes you shake yours back and forth and exhale at the pointlessness of it all.

Something more or less in the middle of the dramas noted above is about to rear its head for a 12th season. Touted as “the most important reality singing competition on television,” American Idol returns with three of its five cast members fresh and unseasoned, with a completely unknown dynamic (let’s face it: we’re really not going to know the true chemistry of how this line up works until we get down the road some on the show) and hauling in a cadre of hopefuls certain to push buttons just as soon as win hearts.

Me? I’m ready for that kind of drama right there.

Interestingly (at least to me), there are a lot of friends and associates who have collectively stated “there’s no way in hell they’re sitting through Idol this season.” For the life of me, I can’t understand that mode of thinking. With all the hoopla surrounding Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj and the insertion of “referee” Keith Urban — let alone a brand new season filled with unknown surprises — what’s not to get excited about?

Prior to season 10, when it was announced Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler were due to usher in the show as new judges, I was excited. Well … excited Tyler was coming into the fold. Truth be told I wasn’t exactly thrilled about JLo entering the fray. But I kept an open mind going into the then new season. I was going to give both of them a chance — especially JLo — to put their talents and their experiences to the test and come forth with honest critiques of the hopefuls as the weeks flew by. There was rough going that first stint, but JLo ended winning me over in many ways at the end of it all. I wasn’t so put off by her on the panel; she was engaging at points and she wasn’t as irritating as I’d been led to believe. Tyler? You knew he was going to be entertaining, but add to that the fact he offered many insightful and instructive assessments and I was colored pleasantly with him. Of course, the two mucked up some of their studies of the contestants over the two years they held court with fluff and fodder and downright incomprehensibilities, but not everything is going to come out colorful rainbows and heart-warming puppies.

Coming into season 12 of Idol, we have a whole new dynamic once again. Randy Jackson is flanked by newbies who may or not hold their own. They’re going to be scrutinized up and down and all around as the weeks progress. And even though Idol is not about the judges, it certainly is about the judges. That’s just the fact of the matter.

In a recent conference call with Nigel Lythgoe, the producer declared the three will have to put on their big boy pants (or sequined diva panties, as the case may be) and hit the ground running: “They know they’ve got a big job on their hands because Jennifer, Steven and Randy did very well with Scotty McCreery and Phillip Phillips. They’ve … got to live up to that …” From publicity that’s gone all the way back to last summer with claws coming to bear and feuds exposed for all to see, it will be an interesting watch to see the interaction between Carey and Minaj while they try and concentrate (or not) on the contenders. You can bet dollars to Ding Dongs there’ll be nails and coiffed hair a’flyin’ …

Speaking of which, one of the interesting items during Lythgoe’s call was his comment about their feuds … and about Minaj in particular: “I’m not into that sort of publicity. What I do think we’ve got though is … people to watch to see if they grow up on television. I would much prefer that they watch because these judges are excellent. Nicki Minaj, I think, is one of the best judges I’ve ever worked with.” Wow. That’s a pretty bold statement. And, not knowing much about Minaj, it has me interested in what the cotton candy-maned, loud-mouthed artist is all about and what she can contribute to the show.

But I’m skeptical as all get out about the two prima donnas — if, indeed, you can refer to Minaj as one. (She certainly comes across that way.) I abhor Carey about as much as I did JLo when I found she was on board the Idol train a few seasons ago. The difference is I detest Carey even more. Yes, she’s got a voice, but the diva-esque attitude I see in her no matter where she’s at, no matter when she’s performing is completely off-putting to me. (Honestly: If I caught wind of “All I Want For Christmas Is You” pumping out of reception area speakers or while caught ascending in some elevator one more time during the holidays, I was going to do damage.) Minaj? She’s a clown as far as I’m concerned. (And we all know how much I like clowns.) Her music does nothing for me, her flamboyant looks are distasteful and she appears more style than substance. But if JLo can win me over, I’m willing to take the blinders off once again and watch this 12th season to see what these two can do.

I’m less skeptical about some of the altered format changes the show will be debuting/falling back on. We’ll see it going into the finals with only 10 contestants, not the 12 or 13 of the last few years. The tour will take the less traveled road in seeking out hopefuls in small towns (as well as friend and family nominations who will no doubt be surprised at their sudden usherance onto the show). The Las Vegas Rounds will be expanded from one to two weeks and, before that, the Hollywood Rounds will be divided male/female to mix things up, hopefully zeroing in on talent more closely. Best of all, those dumbass wildcard picks by the judges have thankfully been tossed out the window. Thus, Idol has made moves not only to streamline the program, but to make it that much more fun and frolickous. What’s not to like about that?

Since discovering Idol with its 5th incarnation, I’ve continued to enjoy it. Regardless of the naysayers, the ones who have claimed it’s lost its edge, the Vote For The Worst asshats (Thankfully, that site is closing), the whiners who state the show is pointless and old and a joke … none of them have dampened my spirit about the show or what Idol truly is: A launching pad for new artists as determined by the viewing public. It’s the original of the singing competition field and still maintains its juggernaut status in a crowded schedule filled with relative newcomers such as The Voice and The X Factor. It delivers surprises and feelings and wonder and laughs and awe more so and better than any of the others and this year’s chapter will be no different.

The (repeat) four-judge format might slow the pace somewhat just as it did years ago. The drama will again raise its head and threaten to shift the focus from the contestants elsewhere. Ryan Seacrest will continue to be vilified in the coming weeks (by me). But American Idol is back, folks … freshly Febreezed and new and revamped.

And I welcome it as I do every year, with open arms and a warm, gooey feeling. *swoon*

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Anyone that knows me is privy to the fact that I love music just as much as I adore quality television … the keyword being quality. However, since I loathe reality programs, I usually find myself skipping such music oriented shows as The Voice, The X Factor and American Idol. In spite of this, new buzz about Idol has now sparked my interest … and it has absolutely nothing to do with its aspiring singers.

It seems to be an accepted fact that the judges on Idol change as often as the actors portraying James Bond. This season includes veteran Randy Jackson, country music star Keith Urban, and dueling divas Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, the two of which are the subject of this week’s Clacking in Color. You see, I don’t keep up with American Idol. In fact, I stopped watching after Fantasia won when I was back in high school. However, when I heard that Carey and Minaj were brought on board, I actually thought they’d work good together. Perhaps I should have my head examined.

The competition hasn’t even started yet and already the two are at each other’s throats … and it ain’t pretty. Celebrity gossip site TMZ recently posted a video of Carey and Minaj having a shouting match while an uneasy (and possibly terrified) Urban sat awkwardly in the middle doing nothing to calm them down. Perhaps he didn’t care. Or maybe he didn’t want to get bitch slapped.

I think I’ll lean towards the latter.

Either way, Minaj looked ready to — for lack of a better term — set it off, and Carey seemed willing to meet her halfway. If this was meant to captivate TV watchers then I’m in the minority. I found it annoying to be honest. Just what in the name of promotional stunts could the two of them be arguing about? Heck, Minaj is wealthy and so is Carey. If I were an affluent celebrity, I just can’t see myself catching an attitude with another famous person when I’ve got millions in the bank. That’s just my opinion.

What once started out as an upbeat program dedicated to finding the next great music superstar has devolved into a crap fest of stunts like these, something that resembles one of those lackluster reality programs on VH1. No one cares about the aspiring singers. It’s all about the judges … but isn’t that backwards? Is this a ratings ploy? Furthermore, here’s another question, a real stumper — are Minaj and Carey aware of how they’re being presented on national television?

Why would they want to reinforce negative stereotypes of women being outrageous and catty? That isn’t exactly forward thinking, is it? I like Minaj. I really do. I didn’t at first … and then her hit single “Super Bass” came out and I changed my mind completely. I get the fact that she’s tough, but is the profane language and screaming really necessary? The same goes for Carey. I don’t know what she did to tick the sister off, but couldn’t they have just waited to address each other once the cameras were out of the room? That’s the professional thing to do, right? Heck, that’s what I would have done, but then again, Nicki Minaj and I are two entirely different people.

Both singers are minorities working in Hollywood — Minaj, Trinidadian born, and Carey, a blend of African-American and Irish. With as much negativity out there, can’t we get some positive examples of minorities in the media? I’m asking a lot of questions so I’ll end it there. I just believe the singers need to sort out their differences and move on. That’s what I’d do if I were Carey. Heck, I’m scared of Minaj. That chick is crazy.

If this has all been a ratings ploy then I guess I can understand that with it being American Idol’s twelfth season. Still, the fact that Minaj and Carey have been teamed up with Urban should be a reason to tune in by itself. That’s quite a contrast in judges. So, does that mean that I will be watching? Um, no. Drama does little to excite me and since that’s what Idol seems to be about these days, I think I’ll have to pass.

After all, with judges like those, what’s there to idolize?

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