Ode to shows past (or, my secret shame) – Guest Clack

Today’s guest clacker is Aryeh S. who, with his wife and infant son, are transplanted New Yorkers, temporarily living in the quaint village of Philadelphia. He and his wife look forward to the day when their son sleeps past 5am … it will also make it easier for them to clean up the 75 hour backlog on their DVR.

Every fall (these days its all year round) we cozy up to a new lineup of shows, knowing full well that many of them won’t be seeing us through the winter. But over the past four years (okay, that’s as far as I can reference back), a plethora of gold (and pewter) has been ripped from the airwaves faster than our DVR guides can update. Here is my “Ode to Shows Past (or, My Secret Shame).”

DISCLAIMER: If your favorite show is missing, it was edited out after I submitted this. I loved (insert show name) too!

Jack and Bobby wasn’t very good, but for some reason I couldn’t unset my season pass. Which one ended up being president again?

Kevin Hill was terrific. Great acting, great premise, great Taye Diggs vehicle. And bravo, Patrick Breen. Here’s my real problem with the show getting canceled: my wife was inconsolable when Kevin lost custody of Sarah, and I promised her that he would get her back; she still brings it up when we argue. Taye Diggs deserves better than being on this list twice (not to mention what I assume will be an addendum before this season is up).

Four Kings was Seth Green at his finest. I know I’m supposed to dislike him (orders from the wife, following Seth’s arc on Entourage), but anyone who can voice Chris Griffin with such gravitas is okay by me. Oh, and the show was funny.

E-Ring, like so many other good shows, lost its way as it scrambled to please the critics. All of a sudden Benjamin Bratt is running around on covert missions? The quality of the show stemmed, in part, from the politics of the Pentagon. What a shame.

Almost nothing about Joey was good, starting with Drea de Matteo leaving The Sopranos to play Joey’s sister. But Paulo Costanzo was at his Road Trip finest as Joey’s nerdy nephew. And hey, Friends costars, how about a little support? Matt LeBlanc got screwed.

Sons and Daughters was more one of my wife’s guilty pleasures, but who could forget Grandma getting a Hitler mustache while she slept? Nazi jokes never grow old.

Out of Practice is on this list for a slightly different reason. It’s so I can say: Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler, what were you thinking? But thanks for Ty Burrell; he’s hilarious (and on this list again. Sorry buddy).

I have only five words to say in support of Smith remaining on the air: Ray Liotta on network TV. HELLO!!!

I was in Puerto Vallarta last summer, and I think I saw the end of Kidnapped being broadcast on Mexican television. Or was it a reality show….

I enjoy a good dramedy legal hour. There, I said it. And Justice was a good (okay, decent) example of said genre. Victor Garber does a great job of staying just on this side of slimy. Unfortunately, he, too, is on this list twice. But check out a great ’00 episode of Frasier called ‘Taking Liberties.’ You won’t be disappointed.

I don’t care that Vanished got canceled; just tell me what happened to the senator’s wife. As far as I could gather from Mexican reality TV, she was not being held down there.

I just didn’t get The Nine. Most canceled shows leave you wanting for a conclusion. This one left me wondering what the premise was in the first place. Was this a nighttime soap with a heart-pounding first episode, or a real serial drama?

Day Break was strange, and channeled Groundhog Day a bit too much. But come on; what does Taye Diggs have to do to get a long-term contract? I smell a Rent reunion….

I enjoy the Irish mob. Everything’s Italian these days, so The Black Donnellys was a nice break in routine. Plus, you gotta love the accents (see Brotherhood if you don’t understand). Did the Brothers Donnelly really stand a chance? Not likely, but it would have been fun to watch them try.

How was Six Degrees different than any other show, where lives intermingle both knowingly and unknowingly?

When I read that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was doing poorly, I figured that NBC owed Aaron Sorkin too much good will not to give him a few seasons. Guess again. But who would have thought that Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford were the perfect team? This show was brilliantly written, acted and cast. Maybe Matthew’s bad karma for no Joey guest-star?

What married couple didn’t enjoy Big Day? No, nothing like that ever happened to me, but the absurdity of those situations helped make the most nerve wracking of days calm. For the characters. I swear!

Standoff was another series that wasn’t very good. But you know how you try a new show once to see if you like it? Then you watch it a second time because you’re not 100% sure if it should be season passed? My wife and I waffled our way through the entire season. Then it got canceled! We sure got the fuzzy end of that lollipop!

Journeyman was a great show. Kevin McKidd (of Rome and now Grey’s Anatomy) deserves an Emmy for his accent alone (he’s Scottish). Did anyone else start searching for old Quantum Leap re-runs after watching this? (they were on ION until September).

K-Ville was like Standoff in my apartment; on the fence all year long. On a slightly different topic, does anyone remember those weird bits Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold did at the end of all of their movies together? Good times.

Carpoolers was fun. Not laugh out loud or How I Met Your Mother fun, but good clean fun nonetheless. The greatest loss? T.J. Miller’s Marmaduke. And that’s a huge loss.

I’m not sure if admitting you watched Aliens In America is like admitting you’re xenophobic … is that why ratings were so low? COWARDS!

I came into Back to You knowing I had to like the show. I’m a huge fan of both Frasier and Everybody Loves Raymond, and I’ve long held a flame for Patricia Heaton (call me!). But alas, I didn’t. So I tried it again, convinced that there was something wrong with me. Well, it took a good many episodes (and a good many goldfish), but I finally got into the swing of things. Oddly enough, that was around the same time critics claimed the show had gotten into the swing of things. But I know it was me. Regrettably, I failed them. Forgive me Ty Burrell, for Gary Crezyzewski could sure take a hit from a stun gun. And please join me in sending Kelsey Grammer half your paycheck … his Frasier money only buys so much!

Like Big Day, Notes From the Underbelly is relatable for everyone who has ever had a baby. My wife and I were expecting all through this show’s second season. Though I admit; how far after the birth was this series going to last? And Rachael Harris was anything but typical in her stereotypical role. I miss Cooper.

CBS let Ray Liotta go in 2006. No way they’d make such a stupid mistake again … before 2007. The great Jimmy Smits and his vehicle Cane were cut from the network unceremoniously. But not before they turned Alex Vega into some crazy wannabe gangster. Shame on you! And slightly off-topic, but who is Nestor Carbonell’s character supposed to be on Lost? I’m too confused about it to even offer options.

I was rather surprised to hear that Dirty Sexy Money had been canceled. I just don’t understand how the networks define a small audience. It’s all relative, and as a result it’s as if the networks decide a series’ fate on a dime. What about the people who are watching? These decisions have nothing to do with numbers, i.e. with us, the viewers. It’s all about what else they can slap together and throw on the schedule. (By the way ABC, Taye Diggs is likely to be free soon, thanks to you. Any ideas?)

I’ve lost my trust in the new show. I was beyond skeptical when I saw commercials for the series with the singing and dancing cast. But one day I watched the Eli Stone pilot online, and I was hooked. Jonny Lee Miller (also screwed by CBS’s canceling Smith; Ray Liotta!) is outstanding. But Poor Eli never had a chance. A mid-season replacement holding Lost’s spot, juggled around the lineup … come on!. Victor Garber, I knew ye well.

My biggest lament? Boston Legal. I know, they had five seasons. But James Spader (two Emmy wins for the show), William Shatner (one Emmy, one Golden Globe) and Candice Bergen (three major award noms) on the same dramedy legal hour (see above)? I guess 22 Emmy nominations and five wins, and four Golden Globe noms and one win only go so far. Brilliant show!

I know, I watch too much TV. But as you can see above, the networks work hard at keeping that tempered. Anyway, I better end here, before I get cance—

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Dec 05, 2008 @ 12:00 EST5EDT