Dancing With The Stars – Fireplugs can dance

by Michael Noble

There are days when I feel like Dancing With The Stars … and there are days when I do not. Last night wasn’t one of those days.

For me, it seemed there was an excess of huffiness and anxiety from the judges and the contestants alike. I’ven’t seen that much flamboyant gesturing since Queer Eye For The Straight Guy nor that many thunky missteps and stiffness since The Munsters. (There is nothing … nothing, I tell you … anyone is ever going to be able to do to remove the two-by-four they stick in Ty Murray’s back prior to his performances.)

However, there is a shining light. And it came from an unlikely source, unlikely for me at any rate. And it’s in the form of Shawn Johnson.

I thought that I would never see a fireplug dance so effortlessly. In her practices, the Olympian is stiff and double left-footed throughout. She seems to get frustrated easily and even went off on a sniffling jag while preparing for her quick step segment. But — come make or break time on stage — the girl whirls and sways with the best of them. That, dear readers, was a surprise for me. Because she looks like a side-of-the-road hydrant that grew legs and put on a slinky, sequined dress. Her partner Mark is definitely working her well as he’s causing her to coax nines and tens from the judges’ table. While the judges are exacting in their analysis, they definitely appreciate her determination and are rewarding her efforts in turn.

Watching her in the early episodes of the season, I didn’t think Shawn had a prayer of a chance. Oh, sure … she had more of a shot than “The Steves” (Steve-O and Steve Wozniak), but I didn’t believe it would go far beyond that. Much to my surprise, there she is embedded in a Top Five spot, pumping out a Paso Doble with vim and vigor. And the fact she’s an Olympian isn’t hurting her cause one whit. Still, how much further can she possibly go? As I said, I’ve never seen a fireplug with legs, but she’s giving it a run for the money.

Side Note: As much as I enjoy Tom Bergeron as a host and an announcer, I cringe at the testosterone-fueled post wrap-up discussion of Samantha Harris. She has always sounded like a guy to me. I don’t think I’m alone in that corner. Anyone on board with that assessment?

Photo Credit: ABC