FOX lays a giant goose egg

I know that, for some of you, the announcement on Monday of FOX’s 2009-2010 TV schedule was a hallelujah moment. Whether you were happy about the consistency of the scheduling through the spring, or the shows that did (or didn’t) make the cut, many people cheered when FOX shared what it has planned for us this fall and beyond.

I, however, did not share in the excitement. I read through the schedule, and then looked again, slowly going from hour to hour, day to day. I couldn’t believe it! Not a single thing piqued my interest until I hit Sunday night, where Animation Domination rules. In truth, I only semi-enjoy the offerings, but I’ve been diligently recording The Simpsons and Family Guy for so long now, that, not only do I plan to continue, I will also check out Seth MacFarlane‘s newest drunken experiment, The Cleveland Show.

And, yes, I have no predetermined opinion about the handful of new offerings from FOX, most of which are set to premiere in the spring, suckling at the teat that is American Idol. However, the shows that make up the majority of the lineup? From House on Monday’s at 8, to America’s Most Wanted on Saturdays at 9, each show, and each hour, gets a quick pass from me.

What do you care, right?

Okay, haters, I’ll grant that yours is a valid opinion. But here’s why it should matter: I watch a lot of TV. My tastes are broad, and I will usually try close to 60% of new fare, even alongside my already over-crowded weekly dose of television. So, when a major network releases its new schedule, its fair to assume that I’ll have at least a handful of favorites returning, alongside a healthy dose of new series to ponder.

So, whose failure is it when fifteen hours of scheduled, primetime television can only come up with three half-hour animated shows that are of interest to an eclectic viewer like me? Come on! For sure I’m not alone in avoiding crazy doctors, human lie-detectors, dancers, a forensic love saga, freaky scientists, Brad Garrett‘s ill-fated experiment, Joss Whedon‘s latest mind-tickler, and the true crime Saturday night lineup. Plus, who’s looking forward to a show about a glee club, and a sitcom involving Michael Strahan and his handicapped brother? What?

It’s been a long time since FOX has sparked my interest in anything, and of late I even dread American Idol for its lack of talent, and 24 for its lack of good (I have five hours of 24 stacked up on my TiVo box, and am dreading that marathon.) I have to go back a year to find anything that I loved tuning my television to FOX for, and that was doomed for many months before last May: Back to You. In truth, the only shows I’ve enjoyed from FOX in recent years have been new ones that didn’t make the cut, from K-Ville to Standoff, The Winner to Vanished, and Justice, too.

I suppose that my recent history with the network may lead to some enjoyment, with the myriad of new shows slated for the coming fall and spring, but it does nothing to address my shock at a major network offering me absolutely nothing that gets me excited.

Particularly amusing was how Peter Rice, Chairman of Entertainment at FOX, chose to open up the announcement of the schedule: “As the No.1 network for the last five years, FOX is the first place viewers go to connect with the stories and characters they love.”

Maybe if he’s in charge of punching up FOX’s comedy scripts, they have a chance of being high on laughs. But if Rice is their main source for reality programming … he’s got a lot to learn about what’s going on in the market today.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on May 19, 2009 @ 15:54 EST5EDT