FOX Sunday night lineup – Clacking the dream

Yes, the 2008-2009 network television season’s in the bag. But, you know what? It’s not all tears and depression. Let’s be honest; most nights, the networks air a pretty stinky lineup of shows. Apparently, it’s really hard to put on three straight hours of quality programming, and some networks even struggle to put on two (and when that’s hour-long shows, it’s only two series per night. Why so tough, FOX and The CW?)

But even more true is the fact that today is no exception. The networks have rarely managed to keep us satisfied all night (this is a family post, perverts!), so enough with our lamenting the good old days. Instead, I propose an alternative: a build your own strongest lineup for each night of the week from each one of the big four networks (never will The CW have enough good to qualify. Although we might be able to mine something from The WB and/or UPN….)

A few months back, we discussed the ultimate in nights of television, NBC’s Must See Thursdays. But, plenty of other nights, and other networks, have storied histories (both good and bad). So, with a little suggestion from Peter Lynn, and a little chronological order, what say we visit Sundays on FOX, first.

7:00-7:30 Yup, FOX started the night off early, back in the day. With its first night of programming back in 1987, FOX gave us a little bit of Johnny Depp and the gang on 21 Jump Street. Not a bad way to start things off. The slot’s subsequent foray into hour-long action (Booker), half-hour comedies (True Colors, Oliver Beene), animated sitcoms (Futurama, King of the Hill), and a bunch of nonsense game shows in between (Fortune Hunter, Big Deal, The World’s Funniest!) has left us today with The OT (NFL post-game), and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Not a lot of flash, or substance. Of course, the half-hour was once home to my holy grail, but 7PM was never Malcolm in the Middle‘s real home. No, instead, time discrepancy be damned, I’ll watch me some 21 Jump Street; that was a fun show.

7:30-8:00 Also not a great time for a hot property, but I’m guessing that FOX was looking to get a jump on all the other networks (great job!) Amazingly, there were some enjoyable programs on during this dinner-time window. From Parker Lewis Can’t Lose to The Ben Stiller Show (still have yet to see that), and King of the Hill to Malcolm in the Middle, there was plenty of fun to be had before, during, or after, your food. And, with his smooth moves, rocking partners-in-crime, and always enjoyable high-jinks (and, despite the fact that I Know My First Name Is Steven still haunts me), this slot will always belong to Parker Lewis (Corin Nemec), and his insistence that he Can’t Lose. I’ll figure out the overlap, somehow. Kube!

8:00-8:30 8PM has long belonged to The Simpsons, and I don’t think Bart’ll be letting go anytime soon. However, this half-hour did exist before 1994, and its occupants included America’s Most Wanted, Martin, and the sketch-comedy show, In Living Color. I didn’t mind catching Martin in the odd rerun, but I was never a big enough fan to watch it religiously. I’ve seen most episodes of The Simpsons in one form or another, but I think that I was drawn to the show more by my brother-in-law’s interest in it than anything else. However, with little else to choose from, I would probably go with the animated show, except for one person: Jim Carrey. From 1990 until 1993, he, and the Wayans family (amongst others), brought us some of the most colorful characters ever to air in primetime. How I wish the days of In Living Color could return.

8:30-9:00 Wow. In 22 seasons, this time slot has seen 17 series come and go. Some were canceled, some moved elsewhere, but, either way, there’s been no longevity here. Most of these shows mean nothing to me, but I have varying amounts of recollection of series like Totally Hidden Video, Roc, Living Single, That ’70s Show, The Bernie Mac Show, and Arrested Development. Then there were the serial time-hoppers, like Futurama, Malcolm in the Middle, American Dad, and King of the Hill. Mostly a wasteland of television. But one show stands out for me still today, and every time I see the lead actor in another role, I shout out to his, in my opinion, most memorable character. He’s given us a lot to remember, but Charles S. Dutton‘s Roc Emerson was, by far, my favorite. Something about the down-to-earth nature of the show, and the sincerity of the characters, left an indelible impression on me. Roc is my horse in this race.

9:00-9:30 Three fan favorite shows have dominated 9PM on FOX. Each spoke to a different generation, a different type of person. Married … With Children appealed to the people who felt like the ’80s were a giant slog through life. The X-Files was a clarion call to conspiracy theorists, as well as sci-fi enthusiasts. Me? I prefer David Duchovny as a sex-addicted author. And, today, Family Guy reaches the immature side of each one of us, where a joke isn’t funny unless it makes you uncomfortable. Along the way, there’ve been stops of the off-beat variety (It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, The Tracey Ullman Show), as well. Nevertheless, this one’s not even close. For seven seasons, Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek (the talented Jane K), and co., brought tears of joy to my eyes with their particular brand of comedy. I absolutely love Malcolm in the Middle, and it infuriates me to this day that some musical rights dispute has kept all but the first season from being released on DVD.

9:30-10:00 How to round out the night? There’s been quite a mishmash here, too, though nothing like an hour earlier. Nevertheless, I don’t have many memories of shows like Good Grief, Daddy Dearest, etc. I’m also not a fan of American Dad (I think Seth MacFarlane, in an attempt to stick it the network, created a show with a lot of the same characters as had been canceled along with Family Guy, and, except for Roger, he missed big time.) I’ve also watched the entire series of Arrested Development; really, really not good. I know this is a very controversial show, but I’m comfortable siding with the winners in this battle of renewal vs. cancellation. It was just not funny. Anyway, there were another bunch of shows that graced the half-hour in the early years, but their lack of success, combined with my tender age coinciding with the late hour, resulted in a lot of blanks for me. The show that I will always remember fondly, and that makes it for me at this hour? Think Being John Malkovich, but funny, memorable, and not something that makes you want to drink yourself unconscious after watching it: that’s right, we close out the night with a little peek inside William Ragsdale, on Herman’s Head, the surprising hit that introduced me to funny man Ken Hudson Campbell. Ah, to be ten again.

I’m actually slightly surprised; I didn’t remember that FOX’s Sunday night existed without a slew of path-of-least-resistance animated sitcoms. Sorry Peter; Animation Domination doesn’t do enough for me to win it its own separate “best night of.” Unfortunately, it’ll have to settle for the scrapheap, replaced by some great series that just couldn’t compete in our cheapest is best world.

But like I said with NBC’s Must See TV Thursday, there’s always TV on DVD. For the most part, that is.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Jun 01, 2009 @ 12:01 EST5EDT