1800 Tequila Silver – Michael Imperioli should stick to gun shots

I know this starts out as more of a post meant for CliqueClack Food, but bear with me.

I grew up hating tequila. OK, by “grew up” I mean since first having it in college; since I’m now in my 30s, college is now, sadly, considered my youth. The reason I hated tequila, though, was twofold: it was always the cheapest crap found on the lowest shelves of the corner package store, and we always threw them back in one gulp with salt and lime. Once I figured out that there was such a thing as good tequila, and that — *gasp* — you can sip it and it’ll taste good, I became a tequila LOVER.

Last month, Cuervo was publicizing their higher-end white (clear, or “silver”) tequila, called 1800 Tequila Silver. In the ads I saw, they were using Michael Imperioli (Sopranos, Life on Mars — see, it’s TV-related) in yet another typecast wise-guy role, this time bullying up to a bottle of Patron. Now, I like 1800 Tequila just fine, but throwing the bird to my beloved Patron? Oh, it is ON, Moltisanti!

I was first made aware of these ads by the people promoting 1800 Tequila Silver, and as part of that they asked me if I’d like to review the tequila for CliqueClack. Uh, good, free tequila to my doorstep? Yes please. I was even more surprised when I actually got the foam-padded box with a full-sized bottle of the sweet, silver nectar.

The first thing I had to try — OK, second thing — was to see if there was anything to this “shot top” thing. Here’s the video I’m talking about:

Now, do you see something missing in that little demonstration from Christoph … er … Michael? Well, I didn’t, until I tried to do his little trick with my own bottle; he doesn’t show you how he’s able to take the full top off and not have the tequila pour back into the bottle, or worse, all over the table, making you look like a drunken, well-dressed slob.

It turns out that, after careful analysis within the controlled environment of the McDuffee Laboratory of Tequilology, it has been concluded that on a scale of extremely unlikely to extremely likely, the shot top has achieved full-on bullshit status. Not only is it nearly impossible for someone to successfully pull off the 1800 shot top, but it’s unfathomable that any sane, rational, sober person would even attempt the task, never mind think the bottle’s cap would make a good thing to shove into one’s mouth (although, that’s an excellent way to claim the bottle all for yourself).

See me back over on CliqueClack Food next week, where I’ll be back at *MLoT to do some actual taste-testing of 1800 Tequila Silver, up against Jose Cuervo Especial Silver, Patron, and Don Julio.

* McDuffee Laboratory of Tequilology

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Nov 12, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT