Bugs, mice, sweat and tears. A new band? Nay. A kitchen nightmare!

When I told my friends I’d be covering this show, I got a mixed reaction. Seems people either love Gordon Ramsay, or hate him. I’m a lover.

Look, I know Gordon has a mouth on him. But really, once you get past the f-word, he always makes sense. And on Kitchen Nightmares, he  creates  a difference in the lives of the restaurateurs who ask for his help.  Even if they fight him tooth and nail along the way.

Last night Kitchen Nightmares revisited two restaurants from last year, to see if they have chosen to keep up Gordon’s standards and menus. (I call him Gordon because he and I would get along swimmingly if introduced. And then he’d probably want to marry me, and that would be a problem ’cause I’m already married. Then …) I’m sorry, I digress.

The first restaurant he returns to is called Sante La Brea, in Hollywood.  Last year, this place was a mess. It almost made my Gordon barf with its nasty fish.  In Gordon’s word the food “looks like a dog’s dinner. Hideous!”

And everybody duck when Gordon tours the kitchen of Sante La Brea. Dean, the owner, is unapologetic and downright mad when Gordon goes ballistic over the filth of the place. Dean’s an arguer. But arguers are what Gordon lives for. They get right up in each other’s grilles and Gordon screams, “You’re a f’ing disgrace!” But he doesn’t say “f’ing,” if ya get my drift. Anyway, Gordon makes his changes, especially to the very sweaty general manager Mark, who he insists go home and change. He tweaks, revamps, and redecorates. Dean loves it and cries. Gordon’s work is done here.

Now, one year later, Gordon reappears. Dean has retired to the Middle East, (wouldn’t you?) and his sons are running the joint. Mark and his sweat are gone, but Gordon wants to check on him, so he sets up a meet. Mark says he left Sante La Brea because he was “the butt of the joke.” When Gordon asks what he would have liked to say to him one year ago upon reflection, Mark replies, “I should have asked you for a job. I feel God sent you to me.” And get this. My Gordon reacts by pointing to Mark’s pits and saying, “Are you kidding? Niagra Falls with your armpits!” Then he shakes his hand and wishes him luck. That Gordon.

Next, we come to my home state of Michigan, for a return trip to Guiseppi’s.  Gordon faced a big problem here as well. The owners, Joe and Kathy, had their son Sam working as chef. But the Dad couldn’t relinquish control, and was mighty cruel. Sam was unhappy. The family was torn apart. Gordon to the rescue! He mends the family fences, and gets the place remodeled and geared toward fresh food, instead of crap.

Flash to the present. Gordon sits down with Kathy, and asks her how it’s all going. Kathy admits that while the family is thriving, the business has been horribly hit by the recession. She tells him they are losing their house. Gordon gets a tear. But don’t worry, he has a big surprise! He presents the family with a plaque in recognition for their service to the Italian community.

Note to My Gordon. You should have bought them a modest house, with all your money. Really. A plaque?

Anyway, Gordon likes the food, and the atmosphere remains the same. However, there are just no customers. Michigan is the hardest hit State in the nation with unemployment. Things are terrifically hard here. Take it from me. And at the end of the show, we are told as a sidenote, that Guiseppi’s has gone under. Maybe Gordon should’ve contributed to save their business too. He’s a gazillionaire. I would have….

My Gordon has sort of let me down. The bloom is slightly off the rose. Oh well.

Next week, I shall be glued, as Gordon returns to the scene of a crime I was once a part of. Jack’s On the Waterfront, in St. Clair Shores Michigan. I worked there for 6 months, before being fired for not wearing enough makeup. I hope he fries them.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Apr 10, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT