I was actively anticipating this week’s Sober House episode. Do I need a life, you ask? Possibly. But that is neither there nor there. Last week’s tease left me all atwitter, as I’ve not been a fan of the headmistress of the house these past two seasons. Part of this is personal, as she reminds me of a very conniving person I knew in the ’80s. Long story. Call me. But the other part is, I’ve been questioning the way she deals with the celebrities in her care.
Jen, admits the affable Dr. Drew Pinksy, is not a trained professional. She is an ex-addict, helping the celebrities fresh out of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab make the transition back into “normal life.” By pushing, kicking, screaming, swearing, and giving the occasional hug. But mostly the screaming and swearing part.
These past few episodes, Jen has been like a simmering volcano. The Mr. and I have just been waiting for her to blow. Granted, she has a challenging group here. Who am I kidding, calling them challenging? These folks are nuttier than extra crunchy Jiff. And me likey.
As we join the House on day 15, Jen opens the lovely California morning with a group meditation. Stop me here if I’m wrong, but I do believe that meditations are supposed to be soothing, restful type experiences.
I smiled in a Grinchy way when Jen said in a voice over right before the meeting, “”They need discipline.” So they all meet, and Jen just goes to town! Some random quotes….
“It’s (this house) is disgusting!”
“Everything is whining … I, I, I …me, me, me … that’s how you f#%*ing got here!”
She rants and rants. Now I love a good rant, but the celebs are not appreciating it. They chain smoke, and roll their eyes, and talk about her after she storms away from “meditation.”
Cut to later that morning. Mike Starr has a messy room Egods! This freaks Jennifer out, and she decides to make him her first example. And if you’ve been watching, I don’t need to tell you that Mike is rather, erm, volatile. Let’s just say, you do not want to corner him and repeat yourself and swear right up in his face. I guess Jen did not get that memo.
It begins, with a stern request from Jen. “Mike clean your room.” He hemmith and hawith. Things escalate. She tells him 27 times to clean his room. I counted. Mike paces, and swears, and calls her face ugly. But, to this crazy man’s credit, he doesn’t punch her. I was so expecting a punch. I wanted to punch her!
Mike leaves, and Jen has a bit of a whirly meltdown in front of Tom Sizemore and Dennis Rodman. *Note to self–don’t have a meltdown in front of Tom Sizemore and Dennis Rodman. They’ll laugh at you.*
Dr. Drew meets separately with both Jen and Mike. He makes Jen watch a video of her “disciplinary skills,” and gently suggests that she may need some help at the house. Duh. In group therapy, all the celebs agree that Jen is … a … um … bitch that doesn’t know what she’s doing. Did I mention we are still on day 15? I know, right?
Enter a new gal. Loesha. She has professional training. I can tell Jen feels threatened and weakened by this new addition. Which means either coming friction or a temper tantrum on her part.
Meanwhile, Dennis is still in denial. He has said the words “Alcohol won’t kill me” so many times, that I’m starting to get the heebie jeebies that maybe it will. He’s fighting the whole process pretty hard. Which he has to convey in subtitles, as he has a severe case of the Mumbles. I wonder if he employs a full time interpreter for real life situations. Hey! My next career??
I wonder what day 16 will bring. Yow.
Day 15! How do they have time for so much shenanigans?
Stop me here if I’m wrong, but I do believe that meditations are supposed to be soothing, restful type experiences.
You obviously haven’t been to a real, live, pay-per-view knock-down-drag-out California meditation. This is, after all, the Land of Fruits and Nuts out here. We do things differently. Radically different. And we’re proud of it. One example:
– It’s a given Californians will do everything they can to get to the #1 lane (the fast lane) on the freeway … then proceed to drive slowly when in it.
So … is it any surprise the word “meditation” in a “meditation session” is an oxymoron?
I’m thinkin’ “No”.
*POST AUTHOR*
G.I.–I could have written even more …
Michael; the California highways drove me bonkers when I lived there.
Thank you both for reading!