South Park – Captain Hindsight is our protector and guardian

“I mean, exactly what is ‘Mint Berry Crunch’ supposed to mean? I get that you’re half-man and half-berry, and that you’re crunchy with some mint, but to be part of Coon and Friends you have to have a clear and more superhero kind of identity.” – Cartman
“…” – Mint Berry Crunch
“Mint Berry Crunch, I’m just wondering if maybe you need to add something else to the Mint Berry Crunch part of your costume.” – Cartman
“Like milk?” – MBC
“No. Not like milk.” – Cartman

“Alright, you little munchkins buckled up for safety?” – Mrs. Cartman
“Mooom! Don’t talk to us like that we’re fucking superheroes!” – Eric Cartman

“There’s people trapped in that burning building, Captain Hindsight!” – Firefighter
“And the fire is so massive, we can’t get to them!” – Other Firefighter
“Hm. You see those windows on the right side? They should have built fire escapes on those windows for the higher floors, then people could have gotten down. And then on the roof; they should have built it with a more reinforced structure, so a helicopter could have landed on it.” – Captain Hindsight
“Yes, of course!” – Firefighter
“And then you see that building to the left?” – Captain Hindsight
“Yes!” – Firefighter
“They shouldn’t have built that there, because now you can’t park any firetrucks where you really need to. Well, looks like my job here is done. Goodbye everyone!” – Captain Hindsight
“Thank you, Captain Hindsight!” – Firefighter
*Cheers* – Everyone

“Fellas, could you let me out please? It’s been like six days.” – Butters, as Chaos
“You aren’t going anywhere, Chaos!” – Cartman
“Yeah but you only gave me this bucket to poop in, and it’s full now. And I ain’t got nothing to eat!” – Butters
“You got poop, don’t you?” – Cartman

“Oh, don’t tell me we did it again!” – BP oil driller

“What they should have done is installed a backup valve, in case that valve broke.” – Captain Hindsight
“I believe they did install a backup safety valve, Captain Hindsight.” – Worker
“Hmm. Right. Then they should have had a backup safety valve to THAT backup safety valve!” – Captain Hindsight
“My God he’s right!” – Worker

“Commissioner!” – Captain Hindsight
“Yes!” – Commissioner
“Tell Brett Favre he should have never sent actual pictures of his schlong!” – Captain Hindsight

“BP has taken full responsibility for cleaning up the spill in the Gulf; and in doing so, we have changed our name from Beyond Petroleum, to Dependable Petroleum. DP — we no longer fuck the earth, we DP it.” – Tony Hayward

“You think selling lemon bars is helpful to mankind?” – Cartman
“More helpful than taking naked pictures of Butters.” – Mint Berry Crunch

“Another crisis in the Gulf of Mexico, as the oil company DP has once again made a huge error. This time the oil company has accidentally ripped a hole into another dimension. The oil company stated that it knew a portal to another dimension was there, but didn’t think drilling into it would prove problematic.” – Reporter

“The DP oil company has had another drilling accident. This time they appear to have unleashed the dark and mighty Cthulhu. The rise of Cthulhu from anther dimension brings about 3,000 years of darkness, Tom, where we will all be driven to madness and made to serve as Cthulhu’s cult of slaves.” – Reporter

“Sorry.” – Tony Hayward

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Oct 27, 2010 @ 22:22 EST5EDT