Biggest Loser for the win: No product placement and Curtis Stone

Suspicious cops!

Unknown trainer reveal!

Curtis Stone Curtis Stone Curtis Stone!

Boxing!

Tears!

Pop Challenge faceoff!

Doom and gloom from Dr. Huizinga!

Last. Chance. Workout.

And the biggest twist of all… no product placement!

It was quite an action-packed episode of The Biggest Loser, to be sure.

The big “reveal” of the “unknown” trainers was played for all it was worth – but strangely anti-climactic as I commented to my TV screen “Who? Who are these people again?” I’m sure Cara and Brett are very competent trainers – but dudes, I’ve never heard of you before now. So why the mystery, producers? Hmmm?

The scenes at the Barn, aka the off-campus training site, were interesting. Lots of boxing. LOTS of boxing. Did I mention there were a plethora of shots featuring contestants boxing? I kept expecting Burgess Meredith to pop up and yell randomly. Although had any of those contestants let out with a “Yo! Adrian!” I would have been his/her faithful fan until the boot was given off the show or until said person became insufferable. Whichever came first.

There are interesting dynamics afoot with the Barn Gang – I refuse to call them the “Unknowns.” Please. We know who those people are. Especially Team Yellow, who seem to have appointed themselves Junior Trainers. Lots of peer pressure and pep and persuasion from those two. I could see it from Rulon Gardner, as he and his Olympic medal are not unfamiliar with intense physical training. But his buddy with the big mouth – not so much. Shut it dude.

The Pop Challenge was kind of fun – although I did wonder if the Biggest Loser producers had enjoyed drinks with the producers of Survivor and they together came up with this scenario – balance an egg on the back of a frying pan — on a cocktail napkin. Nice team unity displayed on both sides. And given the insane amount of product placement on this show, I was surprised the eggs weren’t sponsored by Old MacDonald’s Farm and the pans by Calphalon. There’s always next season, producers!

Did you know that CURTIS STONE was the big carrot on the end of the stick for the winner of the pop challenge? CURTIS STONE, y’all! I really wanted Purple Hannah to win, if only to see her go all fangirl on our favorite Aussie cook. Alas, ‘twas not to be as the two mom-types from each team won face and kitchen time with CURTIS STONE – whose hair, along with that yummy roasted acorn squash thing – was the most interesting part of the segment.

Oh look – there’s Bob Harper in a commercial pimping Turbo Tax! His agent is working overtime – or is not very picky. Not sure which.

You know anytime Dr. Huizenga (who my TV and I call Dr. Hair. Seriously. Look at it.) appears at this time in the season, it’s going to be a downer. He came armed with a passel of bad news about the State of Your Health to the Barn contestants. Lots of tears, depressing, very dramatic statistics and vows to stop the cycle/get better unfold. As you would come to expect if you’ve seen even five minutes of this show before.

I did appreciate the team unity move with the Ranchers and their big water-hauling challenge, letting Irene, the lone member of the Team Orange, win, giving her the only vote in the elimination scenario. It’s refreshing to see these people working together and focusing on the matter at hand – getting healthy – rather than expending energy on schemes and game play.

But wait… I spoke too soon.

Earlier in the show, Bob and Jillian had one of their patented Therapy Sitdowns with Team Black, twin cops Dan and Don. Chat about issues and families and issues and weight and issues ensued. Tragic stories both, with Dan having lost a son to a drug overdose and Don estranged from a son because of his weight and health. Lots of talk about wanting to be on campus but … Dan repeatedly expressing that he missed his family and would be ready to go home, either due to falling below the yellow line or to keep someone else on the ranch who needed (read: wanted) to be there more.

Cut to the weigh-in. With Team Blue – Arthur and Jesse – in danger of going home, thanks to a tough week for Arthur in terms of workouts, Team Black was the last pair to step on the scale. An eternity of beeps later reveal that both gents GAINED nine pounds. A nine pound gain on a weight-loss show. Don’t have to be Barney Fife to suss out this suspicious scenario. The usual protestations follow but no one’s buying it. That’s a whole lotta water loading, coppers. No need for a lie detector test on this one.

Predictably, sweet Irene sends Dan home, still proclaiming his innocence and leaving Don to endure the Wrath of Jillian and Bob as fallout. We see Dan doing very well with the weight loss thing at home, hanging with his daughter, who could be Abigail Breslin’s stunt double, at a martial arts class and doing very Dad Things.

The most shocking thing about this episode? No product placement. No mention of Jenny-O turkey or Extra gum or Brita water filters or Subway. Yeah – I can’t believe it either. We will probably pay dearly for this oversight next week, y’all.

Quote of the night: “Oh, he did puke! That’s sweet!” — Jillian about beleaguered Arthur during the Last Chance Workout

Clacked by Guest Clacker
on Jan 19, 2011 @ 15:11 EST5EDT