Dancing With the Stars – The Semi-Finals

There have been so many injuries on this season of Dancing With the Stars, but none as horrific as Kym Johnson’s neck injury last Friday. Seriously. Tom Bergeron did not adequately prepare me for the footage. I mean, he said it was hard to watch, but good grief! I actually screamed and hid behind my hands! I cannot believe how lucky she was not to have irreparably hurt herself. I myself have been in two car accidents over the years (not my fault — people rear ending me while talking on cell phones), so I know a bit about neck pain. And the way Kym’s neck bent absolutely scared me to death. Double that with the fact that she couldn’t feel her arms afterward, and boy oh boy! I was glad to even see her standing up, much less perform the incredible routines with her football celeb Hines Ward.

I have to admit, if you’ve seen my previous reviews, you know I haven’t been able to get into these two. Sometimes it takes a rough patch to really see a person’s character. Seeing how worried Hines was, how well he took care of Kym until the ambulance arrived, and then after their routine — he couldn’t stop the tears of relief and built up stress. Well, you had to be made of concrete not to be affected by that. I hate to sound all “girly,” but what a sweetheart! He cried, she cried, Carrie Ann cried, the crowd was on its feet! And then Bruno had to demean it all with another one of his inappropriate sexual comments he’s been giving all season: “It was like good sex. I didn’t want it to end.” Geez. (BTW did anyone else notice he was bleeped in his comment to Ralph? I don’t know what he said, as the camera wasn’t on him, but Karina’s reaction with the hairy eyeballs said a lot. “Clazzy Bruno. Very clazzy.”) He needs to stop it already.

And while I’m on the subject of judges, let’s talk about the hosts for a moment. I’m completely on board Tom Bergeron’s train. But! Brooke Burke is as stupid as a box of hair. She messed up a coin toss. A coin toss, people! And what about when she said that if “you haven’t voted yet, you’re lame.” Someone save me.

Let’s break it down!

Hines and Kym: I’ve told you how I felt about their dances. Just one additional thing that made me chortle a bit. Hines’ mother, when interviewed about what she said to him when he started this whole thing: “Maybe you go one week. You’re gonna fail.” Then later in the package, he said that he owes everything he is to his mom. Hines, Hines. You need the number of my therapist. Call me.

Ralph and Karina: Um. I don’t think Karina should have told us all about how Ralph was wearing padded underwear because he doesn’t have an ass. To quote my husband,”Wait, was their dance good? ‘Cause all I could see was his Depends riding up on the sides.” Uh huh. Ralph is gone. As well he should be. I’ve been saying this for ages.

Kirstie and Maks: Am I the only one who thinks that Kirstie can barely even stand not punching Brooke Burke in the boob every time they go backstage for their scores? I say, do it, Kirstie. For all of us.

Anyway, she won’t win, but she’s come really far. I love how she’s proving it for curvaceous women everywhere. Well done, girl!

Chelsea and Mark: They’ve got it. Hands down. Between the difficulty and imaginative choreography by Mark, and the way she already moves like a pro? There’s no stopping her!

But as always, I want to know what say you?

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on May 17, 2011 @ 03:07 EST5EDT