CommercialClack is milk fortified

“The perfect nightcap. You sleep soundly, wake refreshed … with milk. Hot!”

Michael: Man … milk awareness and advertising on television sure has come a long way, hasn’t it?

Tara: Yep. But! I need to say something unpopular right now. The beginning of that commercial would make anyone want to pee.

Michael: Geez, Tara … Why? It’s milk for crying out loud!

Tara: The audio! Yeeks!

Michael: Oh. Well … I guess for those with weak constitutions and susceptibility to “liquidy” sounds, I see how that might be worthy of a quick “library” visit.

Tara: “Library” … ??? You mean “the loo” … ???

Michael: Poh-tay-toe … poh-tah-toe …

Tara: Well, before we call the whole thing off? This might just be the origin of my most hated contemporary phrase ever — “That’s hot!”

Michael: As in the Paris Hilton reference?

Tara: Uh huh. These days everything and everybody is either “hot” or not. Anyway! Hot milk is very strange. It gives me a “hucky” feeling in the back of my throat. Ick. I can think of much better “nightcaps.” Like Nyquil. Or watching reruns of Two and a Half Men.

Michael: If that’s what trips your trigger, okay …

What really got me going on the got milk? commercials this time around is the next video. I saw it for the first time a few nights ago and thought it was amusing …

Tara: Until you mentioned this, I hadn’t seen it. But I love it! They pack a lot into those 30 seconds. A. They make fun of old white men who are out of touch yet still run large companies. B. My favorite is the Jim character, cause he’s just so cute. And C.? Well, you know me, and I never have a C. Maybe you have a C?

Michael: No. I really don’t have a “C”. But! I agree: The old fogeys are engaging. I won’t go so far as to say “cute,” but … I am rather surprised the guy on oxygen didn’t give you the urge to ring him up to ask him out on a date. …

Tara: Done! Next Friday, I’m busy. And! I laughed at the fact they are so tongue in cheek about milk not being able to be made from beans or nuts. I know you’re gonna give me crap about this, but I drink soy milk all the time!

Michael: Why … ?!? Do you have something against cow’s milk … !??

Tara: Don’t get me started. Yes! It’s full of the pesticides they shoot cows up with and growth hormones and … look. It’s nasty. Unless it’s labeled organic.

Michael: In California? Where we actually read labels unlike Michigan (obviously)? There are notifications of unpesticized milk and the like.

Tara: Really? Not here. But I found California much more forward thinking when I lived there about that kind of stuff. Maybe “they” don’t think Mid-westerners would be interested in clean living? That’s stereotypical bullshit! But we’re digressing.

Michael: You’re right Tara. You’re always right. *rolls eyes heavenward*

Of course, this next one is a favorite of mine. More feisty old dudes!

Michael: See? Soy milk won’t (possibly) ward off osteoporosis. Real milk, however …

Tara: You just made me sigh. Do you know anything about soy?

Michael: It makes a great Chinese food condiment?

Tara: Maybe it will counteract all that MSG. But! This commercial really makes me miss The Sopranos.

Michael: Me, too. And! Remember: Tony often had his head buried in the fridge, pulling out a big pitcher of milk! (Or … was that OJ? Can’t remember off hand.)

Tara: Whichever it was, or whatever was happening, it was always interesting. Dammit Jim! But really, what does this have to do with milk?

Michael: Well … maybe that’s a clue to us coming full circle with the original got milk? commercial from 15+ years ago: The Aaron Burr got milk? spot …

Tara: Oh I remember this! Haven’t seen it in eons.

Michael: The interesting thing here is it features Sean Whalen who’s been in literally everything under the sun: That Thing You Do!, Men In Black, Friends, Spin City, The Young And The Restless, Lost and Hannah Montana to name a few. There hasn’t been much this guy hasn’t been on or in …

Tara: Wow, good for him! I can’t remember him on Friends, and you know I’ve seen every single one. Which I do believe you have not. It’s always amazing to me how some lucky few can build a career out of bit parts. Very tenacious!

Michael: He’s an Eddie Deezen-type character, I figure. Remember Eddie? The nerdy guy in Grease, 1941 and other things?

Tara: Um, Michael? There were lots of nerds on Grease. You are such a font of useless tidbits, I swear.

Michael: All part of my “value added service” …

Tara: Does that come with soy milk?

Michael: NO! Whole milk! As it should be!