What’s this show called … Mob Wives?

Well, that was an interesting choice for a show. I considered calling Mob Wives junk food TV, but I’d fear being libelously slanderous to junk food TV.

The cast is comprised of a bunch of women tangentially connected to the mob. They’re granddaughters, daughters, and wives of alleged mobsters who act and sound like they’re fresh off the New Jersey Transit train from the shore.

Here’s what I don’t get: anyone who’s ever so much as snuck a peek at a mob TV show or movie has heard of omerta and the basic principle of denying the very existence of the mob to anyone on the outside. Yet here are these women, selling their loose connection to the mob in exchange for fifteen minutes of “fame.” Like with the women of the polygamist series Sister Wives, I can’t help but wonder how the women of Mob Wives haven’t … you know, for exposing themselves (Full disclosure: Sister Wives may very well lead to some arrests at some point.)

But let’s set that aside for a moment and take a look at the series itself. These women are completely insane, and that’s understating things. I was at a loss for even fully following what was going on; how could you keep up? There’s so much screaming, and so much scheming, that at times it becomes very difficult to discern what the story line actually is. What I did manage to intuit is that the group has somehow divided into two, with Drita D’avanzo on the outside looking in.

Left behind after the others took a trip to an isolated cabin in the Poconos — how far from mob high rollers could they be if that was the best that they could do for a vacation? — Drita began anger management sessions. If you thought she was crazy before her appointment, watching her describe an altercation she had with a bunch of kids who were picking on someone in a wheelchair proved her certifiable. And when Renee Graziano went totally nuts and started throwing things and screaming at the cabin … whoa. Slow your roll there, cowgirl. That is one crazy fake mob lady.

The best part? They’re from Staten Island! Sure the Soprano clan was from Jersey, a satellite to the Five Families in New York. And the Corleone compound was out on Long Island (although their business was in New York City). But these ladies walking around like they’re sitting on top of the world live on Staten Island? It’s kind of fitting, actually. Member of the big time in name, but for all intents and purposes not at the center of the action. And not accessible by public transportation (although that’s neither here nor there as far as the cast is concerned).

I’ve never seen Jersey Shore or The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but I have to imagine a whole lot of similarities between the three shows. Certainly the casts all sound and look the same, but what I’m wondering is how Mob Wives differentiates itself from the other series. The only thing “mob” about the wives is a) their aesthetic resemblance to Adriana La Cerva, and b) their relatives in the penal system.

But I definitely don’t see what makes these women “mob” wives. You got me.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Mar 20, 2012 @ 12:00 EST5EDT