“We could go to the city pool. They have a water slide.” – Kyle
“No no no. I’m not getting into a pool with Kenny. He has herpes.” – Carman
“What?!” – Kenny
“Look at his lip. You’ve got herpes, dude.” – Cartman
“It’s not herpes, it’s a cold sore.” – Kenny
“No. Cold sore is what girls call it Kenny. It’s actually herpes.” – Cartman
“The average human acts a certain way when surrounded by friends and family. But, in a tour group, the brain has to work overtime, acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.” – Voiceover
“Inside Kyle’s mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile, even though in his brain Kyle is thinking, ‘Dude, fuck you.'” – Voiceover
“But what the boys don’t realize is that a massive storm is brewing. Last night, Eric Cartman had Kung Pao spaghetti from California Pizza Kitchen. Inside Eric’s stomach, the Kung Pao has just met with the Del Taco he ate for breakfast. It has already started to tear down the layers of BBQ BK Toppers that have been building up for months. And now, to compensate for all the annoying tourists, Eric is ingesting massive amounts of Mountain Dew. The caffeine and sugar turns the soupy fast food in his stomach into a toxic gas. When the gas is released, it carries with it tiny particles of Eric’s fecal matter. Fecal mater which floats up and into Kyle’s nasal passage.” – Voiceover
“But what the boys don’t realize is that Eric’s body is already shutting down from stage four diarrhea. Inside his stomach, bile has just dislodged an Arby’s Ultimate Angus. In the average human, this would only cause mild diarrhea, but Eric Cartman is now drinking Double Dew, a Mountain Dew product with twice the sugar and caffeine of regular Mountain Dew. His rancid feces is now rapidly converting to a thick paste. The diarrhea shoots out of Eric’s anus and into his underwear. Eric Cartman is a ticking time bomb.” – Voiceover
“Something’s wrong in my tummy.” – Cartman
“Then stop drinking Double Dew fat ass!” – Kyle
“This is Diet Double Dew, Kyle! It only has half the sugar and caffeine of Double Dew.” – Cartman
“I Should Have Never Thought Horseback Riding Would Be Any Better Than Ziplining” – New show title
“I … I can’t take it anymore. Why do people say ‘long story short?’ They’re not making it short, Stan.” – Kyle
“I Should Have Never Got On A Goddamn Boat” – New show title
“After cleaning Cartman’s diarrhea and fighting off beavers, the boys have made a terrifying discovery: that boating is just as boring as ziplining.” – Voiceover
“How many iPod Nano’s is friendship worth? I guess … one.” – Kyle
“The hardest part about it is knowing you can’t take it back! I mean, it was a fifth-generation Nano, so I can’t trade it in anywhere!” – Stan
“The boys were air-lifted aboard Mr. Hankey’s magical helicraptor. In the four hours since they left home, the boys had traveled so far that Mr. Hankey then had to fly them on his seven-turdy-seven. From there, it was only an hour ride back home, on the Poo-Choo Express.” – Voiceover
Clacked by Keith McDuffee 
on Apr 18, 2012 @ 23:24 EST5EDT
This episode was hilarious!
That episode what crap!
They made too many mistakes:
– too many fart/fecal matter jokes.
– using real guys
– real guys that are way too old compared to the South Park characters
– real guys who’s voices don’t even fit the South Park characters
The only real good joke in that episode was that Kenny literally died of boredom.
It could have been funnier if the real guys had been around the same age as the characters (i.e. kids, not late teenagers) and if they had done crappy voice-over with the real characters voices instead of the kids.
Hint to the SP authors: stick to animation, the last half of that show was pure garbage, there’s funnier stuff on YouTube made by amateurs.
*POST AUTHOR*
Go watch an episode of the show ‘I Shouldn’t Be Alive’, the show South Park parodied here. It was pretty spot-on, including cheesy reenactments with stand-ins.