Last night featured an episode so bad, it sucked like Jenna Jameson’s movies. It was so bad I don’t know if I can review it. OK. I will, but I’ll do it grudgingly.

Casey Abrams – perhaps the most profusely gifted aspirant ‘Idol’ has ever showcased – gets his walking papers. A clear case of a kid beyond his years and possibly too talented for the average viewer.

Getting kind of tired of attempting to write coherent reviews of ‘The Vampire Diaries,’ when all I want to do is scream, “OMG!” And I mean that in a good way. So instead, I speckle tonight’s musings with my predictions for how things could play out in the next two episodes.

Everybody’s making great strides this week on ‘Parks and Recreation:’ Leslie takes control of her womanhood, Ben gets away from his bedbugs, and April and Andy buy silverware (and marshmallow shooters).

I won’t be surprised if there isn’t some uproar about the smoking monkey in the episode. Amy Farrah Fowler only talked about it before. Tonight we saw it. Uh-oh.

Singing, bowling, speaking a foreign language … what’s something you do better drunk? (Psst: you don’t REALLY do it better, you just THINK you do. Because you’re drunk.)

A night dedicated to Carole King fell miserably flat on its face and collapsed upon itself. Whatever happened to the promise we wouldn’t be forced to endure a particular artist’s catalog, Jimmy?