Ellen is looking more and more like Patty Hewes these days on ‘Damages': paying mind games and manipulating young, innocent lawyers. She may not be able to match wits with Patty, but it sure is fun to watch.

The strength of tonight’s episode of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ lies in the callbacks to former moments of glory … but um … Mike the cameraman … Robin and her penchant for firearms. The rest was less than awesome.

Zach drops by the set with his removable beard, the Vogelchecks get even more affectionate, a couple gets curious about a bidet, and Vampire Weekend brings their indie rock to the ‘SNL’ stage.

A mugging leads to Allison meeting a self-defense instructor (guest star Laura Prepon). That seemingly innocent introduction soon leads to a dark tale that sheds a little light on Scanlon’s history, and leaves him with a very difficult decision.

Was my Google search for castor beans and ricin more interesting than this episode of ‘The Mentalist’? Or is the real burning question why there were subtitles for scene changes….

James Marsters makes his ‘Caprica’ debut with wrapping barbed wire around his arm. Y’know, I tried that and I still had a hard time staying awake.

While ‘Private Practice’ debates the “right” person versus “settling,” Charlotte serves up some potent martinis.