Barefoot Contessa is Superman

Scott Shulman, our Guest-clacker today,  is a screenwriter living in Los Angeles until he can retire to San Diego.

I was watching an episode of Barefoot Contessa the other day, marveling at the venerable Ina Garten, and something suddenly occurred to me — she is Superman.  Not in the sense that she’s going to leap a tall building, let alone a tall step with a single bound, and she’s more likely to stop a beignet than a bullet these days, but aside from that, all signs point to her being the Caped Crusader of the Culinary World.   Sure, this may be a conspiracy theory to toss into the garbage bin, but allow me to defend my position with evidence.

First of all there is her super suit, because what is Superman without his tights and cape? Ina’s go-to consists of her button down dress shirts and khaki capris, a staple that’s almost as signature as the insane amounts of butter, cream, and chocolate she uses in almost every recipe.  (How bad can that be?) I can just imagine walking into her beautifully appointed Hampton home and finding a closet filled with a sea of the same exact St. John button down shirt and J.Crew khaki pants.

Then there’s Jefferey Garten, her loving husband and former Dean of the Yale School of Management, or someone you may know as … Louis Lane.   Think about it: he’s always in the city, and is only around when he is in DANGER … of being famished.  Damsel in distress — CHECK.

Finally, and most obvious of Barefoot Contessa’s similarities to Superman, is the way she melts and turns utterly useless around her Kryptonite.  Of course I speak of her unequivocal weakness and vulnerability for ruggedly handsome gay men with a superb sense of style.  It never fails that when Jefferey is away, the mice will play, and when I say play I mean starting the coals for the BBQ, and/or decorating each place setting with the most delicate of seasonal flowers.  It’s exactly how Superman would act if he were a teenage girl meeting the Jonas Brothers. (Note to self: ‘Next time compare Ina Garten to a teenage girl meeting the Jonas Brothers.’)

Of course I cannot deny how personable Ina is and just how gosh darn bubbly her alter ego, the Barefoot Contessa can be as well, I just can’t keep this secret any longer.  I know in my heart of hearts that Ina Garten is the Superman of the Culinary World and if anyone has seen Ina and the Culinary Superman in the same room at the same time, then by all means get back to me. (I’ll be in my Superman PJ’s … the ones with the feet built in.)

Clacked by Guest Clacker
on Apr 14, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT