Say what you will about the perceived decline of How I Met Your Mother in recent years — and we have had that conversation several times around the halls of CliqueClack HQ — we can all get behind a Robin Sparkles appearance. We first found out about Robin’s alter ego way back in Season Two’s “Slap Bet” and has several appearances since … though we are all trying to forget “Sandcastles in the Sand” ever happened.

Each time ol’ Sparkles comes to town, we get a look into what the Canadian 90s pop music scene was like, and this week was no exception. It looks like Robin Sparkles went all Alanis Morissette, rebranding herself Robin Daggers, and releasing the song “P.S. I Love You:”

You, you’re beautiful
On your pedestal
I see you
You don’t see me

Am I just too young
Or just too dum [sic]
Or maybe just too grungy

I’m wearing my flannel
And I’m thinking of you
I’m lacing my boots
And I’m thinking of you

(interrupted)

I’ll never move on
It will always be you
Every guy that I’m with
I’ll be thinking of you
If I get married
He’ll always be second to you
I’ll always be waiting for you

P.S. I love you

The law can’t stop my love
I’ll fit you like a glove
Restraining orders don’t scare me

The lawyers at the record company
Made me promise to say that
“The views expressed in this song do not necessarily reflect the views of Dominant Records or any of its subsidiaries.”

I’m totally a slacker
And I don’t even care
With my curling ‘zines
And my faraway stare
But deep down inside
Yeah, deep down inside
I’m dying

I’m trapped in a cage
Of the tears I cry
I’m praying to God
But SHE doesn’t reply
Even the robot says
“MOVE ON”
I’m trying!

P.S. I Love You

And just because I know you’ll be looking for it, here are the guys people it was speculated “P.S. I Love You” was about:

• William Shatner
• Knowlton Nash
• Joshua Jackson
• Toller Chanston
• Ryan Reynolds
• Gordon Lightfoot
• Corey Hart
• Danny Gallivan
• Brian Mulroney
• Ed Robertson
• Wayne Gretzky
• David Suzuki
• Howie Mandel
• Brad Roberts
• Fergie Olver
• Mel Lastman
• Neil Young
• Mike Myers

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