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Diary of a Weeds Virgin – Nancy gets blackmailed a lot

weeds 3x12

(Season 3, Episodes 10-12)

Between a PI shakedown, and having to hold a knife to Celia’s throat after she also tried to blackmail her, Nancy does not exactly have a ton of friends. She’s still sleeping with Sullivan, which is gross, but then quickly moves onto … Conrad? I definitely didn’t think that would happen at all. So basically, this batch of episodes was full of surprises.

(Season 3, Episode 10 “Roy Till Called”)

Finally! I’m not completely insane! I’ve been saying for 9 episodes that the fact that Nancy sent in her marriage certificate was going to come into play, and she was going to get her money. I also said that she should not be a selfish bitch and give it to Peter’s kid (even though that kid suuuucks). Well, finally, in episode 10, all of that happened.

Well, not really. Nancy did get a check for $119,000, plus Peter’s pension checks, but she didn’t exactly give it to Val. Val demanded it, however. It turns out she’s behind on her bills and desperately needs the money. Unfortunately, Doug needs it a bit more, as he stole $50,000 from Agrestic in order to fund the weed business, and another $50,000 to pay for his divorce lawyer and some laser eye surgery. Nancy gives the money to Doug, and Val has an absolute shit fit about it. I understand why Val is pissed, but Peter was an asshole. Regardless of Nancy’s involvement, did she really think that she would get anything from him?

So Val isn’t the only person whose life Nancy is ruining. Poor Celia (something I never thought I’d say) has to change her ex-husband’s diapers, and now finds out that Nancy is boning her boyfriend. I still don’t understand why Nancy is sleeping with Sullivan in the first place – other than it’s just easy. Celia adores him though and sees him as her only escape from her shitty life. So, yeah. It probably sucks a whole bunch to get dressed up to surprise him, only to see him bending Nancy over a desk. I do enjoy evil Celia, so I can only hope that she decides to take revenge.

(Season 3, Episode 11 “Cankles”)

First Celia got screwed, now it’s poor Doug. It seems that maybe he was high when he voted to push the referendum through that made Agrestic part of Majestic, because it ended up with the entire Agrestic city council losing their jobs. I’m only hoping that this ends up with a Doug-led coup to take over Majestic. Who wants an entire town led by Jesus freaks? Especially when the alternative is an entire town led by Doug? Come on.

After a brief, shiny moment in which she was actually making money and things were going well, Nancy’s life continues its downhill slide. First, Val hires Charlie Crews’ ex-partner to spy on her, then he shakes her down. Nancy gives him the money, but then basically tells Val that since she didn’t trust her, her kid can suck it. I understand why she’s pissed at Val, and she does have a legal right to that money, but Nancy is the reason that Peter is dead, so I don’t know how I feel about all of this.

Celia is busy finding out all sorts of things: Not only does she know about Nancy and Sullivan, but she’s putting the pieces together regarding Nancy’s business; namely, that Doug and her husband are involved. She even visited Heylia to try and get more information. She doesn’t know much yet, but I can only imagine that this is going to be an amazing revenge plan.

(Season 3, Episode 12 “The Dark Time”)

So this came out of nowhere. I was not expecting this episode to end with Nancy and Conrad having sex. It really came out of nowhere, as these situations often do, I suppose. All I could think about is how awkward it must have been to film that scene. Conrad was right up in there, and the camera was right up on his naked ass. That’s going to be uncomfortable around the parents.

In other news, Doug is beginning his reign of terror against Majestic, but hasn’t done anything too spectacular yet. He ripped the cross off of the town church, which warranted a middle-of-the-night visit from Sullivan, wielding a golf club. He smashed Doug’s bong and warned him not to fuck with him, but somehow I doubt that’s going to stop Doug. After all, he pretty much has nothing to live for right now.

Celia hasn’t really made much headway with her revenge plan, but her other plan, to get a cut of Nancy’s action, has actually worked out a little bit for her. The fire department had to inspect the grow house, so Nancy is renting Celia’s house for a while until things calm down. I’m not much of a drug kingpin or anything, but somehow getting your entire town involved in your drug operation doesn’t seem to be a good idea. You’re not raising a barn, for Christ’s sake. Perhaps a little more discretion should be in order. Call me crazy.

Photo Credit: Showtime

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