Quotation Marks – Butt cheeks, Buffy’s Graduation, and a yunkie

by Ivey West

Wass and Paula

Summer is coming to a close, which means two things. Many of the brilliant summer shows that cable gave us this year are over or close to, and its time for the fall premiers. Two of my favorite Virgin Diaries posts also found some closure, as Buffy finished high school, and Veronica just finished.

Defying Gravity

“Do you guys ever get, like really bad cramping when you clench your butt checks together like that?” — Wass

Greek

“He was a nerd but he was hot … it was just so confusing.” — Random ZBZ sister to Casey, about Max

“I had to fake a nosebleed to get out of there.” — Dale to Calvin, on how he supposedly escaped from Sheila at the party

Weeds

“Where do you get your intel?” — Silas, after Shane played six degrees of celebrity venereal diseases with him
“I make it up.” — Shane

“Adelita’s a junkie.” — Nancy
“I think with the accent it’s ‘yunkie’.” — Andy

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Veronica Mars

“Hello, Stosh. What do you say we head out, have a few beers?” — Keith
“That’s one of those trick questions, isn’t it?” — Piz
“I got some new IDs for you. Wallace.” — Keith
“This picture is Jon Bon Jovi.” — Piz
“Yes. It is.” — Keith
“Biggie Smalls? We don’t really all look alike, Mr. Mars.” — Wallace
“I know that, Wallace. Now, let’s go out and get our drink on.” — Keith

“Tell your roommate I came by hoping to kill time between classes getting to second base with someone, and then left unsatisfied.” — Veronica
“He’s a good guy, Veronica. Try not to rip out his heart.” — Wallace

“I’m looking for detective Mars.” — Kizza
“I’m detective Mars.” — Veronica
“But you’re just a girl. You’re a teenager.” — Kizza
“A girl, a teenager, and a private detective – I’m a triple threat. Barely fits on my business card.” — Veronica

“I just hope Piz isn’t planning on moping his way through the remainder of freshman year. It’s not like I’m taking an internship at a Mister Softee in Wachoota. It’s the FBI. The F. B. I.” — Veronica
“At the very least, Piz should think it’s hot.” — Mac
“Actually, he does think it’s pretty hot. He’d just think it was hotter if I were doing it in Neptune.” — Veronica
“He wants to date you and be near you? Greedy little bugger.” — Mac
“And if he didn’t care, I’d probably be complaining about that … to my girlfriend … while waiting to pay for frozen yogurt. I’m a girl!” — Veronica

“I think I read in Teen People that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice.” — Veronica
“I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts.” — Mac
“Interesting. I did not know that. Bare breasts, you say? Hmmm….” — Veronica

House

“I assume you’ve been in love?” — Henry
“Is that the one that makes your pants feel funny?” — House

“You blow dry your hair?” — House
“Oh sorry, did I wake you up?” — Wilson
“You blow dry your hair?” — House
“Excuse me for actually caring what I look like.” — Wilson
“I think the word you’re looking for is obsessing!” — House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Looks like a job for Wiccan girl. What do you say, Will? Big-time danger.” — Buffy
“Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.” — Willow
“But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.” — Xander

“Look, I know you find me attractive. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.” — Anya
“Nothing personal, but when a guy does that it just means his eyes are open.” — Xander
“Whatever. Look, do you wanna go with me or not?” — Xander [Xander’s eyes lower for a second, then flick back up to Anya’s face.]

“I’m going to miss her.” — Willow, about Harmony
“Don’t you hate her?” — Buffy
“Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years. Vacuous tramp…. It’s like a sickness, Buffy. I’m missing everything. I miss P.E.!” — Willow

“Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived.” — Oz
“It was a hell of a battle.” — Buffy
“Not the battle. High School.” — Oz

Photo Credit: ABC