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Did Joss Whedon brainwash the Losties?

I have a theory. It stems from the fact that I cannot believe that anyone would watch and enjoy Lost willingly. I find it to be the most self-serving, inflated show on television. Sure, they’ve taught their actors to master the hateful glare and they bring the non-linear storytelling to an obnoxious level of annoyance (while still moving so slowly that it’s painful), but beyond that I fail to see its merits.

I’ve been told it’s gotten better since I dropped it at the beginning of season three, but I don’t care. I have better things to do with my time then be dicked around by a TV show. If, by the end of the series, you all tell me the payoff is worth it, I’ll rush right out and get all the DVDs and cook up some kettle corn and catch up … no, I really won’t. Do you know why? I think each and every one of you that loves everything about Lost has been brainwashed.

Here’s what I think has happened to the viewing audience. Joss Whedon‘s Dollhouse technology has been leaked to the ABC studios. All viewers of Lost have been imprinted with the ability to love confusing television shows that make almost no forward movement in plot, don’t make sense and do it all with such a sneaky finesse that you believe you are watching quality television. That’s right: you’re all Actives and have received personality wipes in order to embrace Damon Lindelof‘s tainted vision of entertainment.

I know that it’s true. As I sit on the couch next to Keith while he’s watching Lost (and I’m working on my laptop painstakingly ignoring the TV), I can hear him mumble, “I try to be my best.” He even called me Whiskey last night and tried to send me to The Attic when I said something negative about Sawyer’s glare-y reaction to Juliet’s death. Then, he instant-messaged Bob Degon, referring to him as Alpha. It’s all starting to make sense now.

I’m wondering if I’ve inadvertently received the Dollhouse vaccine, making it impossible for me to be mind-wiped or imprinted, because I’m clearly immune to the charms of Lost. I hope that when Lost finally dies its deserving death this spring, that the world doesn’t resemble “Epitaph One.”

Photo Credit: FOX

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Categories: | Clack | Features | General | Lost | TV Shows |

23 Responses to “Did Joss Whedon brainwash the Losties?”

February 3, 2010 at 1:08 PM

The end of season 3 was among my favorite parts of the whole series, along with the beginning. You missed out, dropping it when you did. Granted, seasons 4 and 5 got rather convoluted, but now that they’re wrapping it up it really seems to be going out on a high note. But I guess it’s not for everybody.

February 3, 2010 at 1:53 PM

You like being flamed, don’t you?

And you know what? Maybe you should try being your best.

February 3, 2010 at 2:15 PM

My best is sitting on the couch watching mindless television! ;-)

February 3, 2010 at 6:01 PM

I have to agree with Bob. This article smells of bait and judging by the number of comments already, we’ve taken that bait.

Personally I don’t care who does or doesn’t watch, or like, LOST. I enjoy it, it’s not cancelled and it’s going to get a real, live conclusion. And, no, I don’t really believe the conclusion will answer enough of the questions, but I’m with it to the end.

How about some tea while we discuss your next engagement?

February 3, 2010 at 2:10 PM

Wow, any respect I had for you is gone. This doesn’t come off as funny or cute, it comes off as assholic.

I think Dollhouse is a horrible trashy show that should have never been made in the first place, it was that bad. Joss Whedon clearly didn’t think the idea out before making the show. However I didn’t go around in every Dollhouse review saying how much bullshit it’s filled with.

Dollhouse got 26 episodes, 26 episodes too many and the only reason it got more than 13 is because Fox felt bad about canceling Firefly. LOST is ending on it’s own terms after 6 years. So all this post comes off as is bitter and bitchy. So go back to your TV and continue to watch your trash.

February 3, 2010 at 2:20 PM

Oh Oreo, it’s all in good fun! And I didn’t really like Dollhouse much either, so this post wasn’t really meant to be a comparison between the 2 shows, or to say that Dollhouse is better than Lost.

It came about b/c I told Keith he must be brainwashed to be watching Lost so rabidly last night … and then it hit me! I knew I’d probably get some flack for it, but as Bob said, I must like getting flamed! ;-)

I’m really not bitter or bitchy that other people like Lost, and I don’t even care that it’s on in my house every Tuesday night, being enjoyed by Keith. I just prefer other shows, and Dollhouse isn’t one of them.

Now, don’t you be bitter that Dollhouse got air time — there’s room enough for everyone’s tastes on the small screen! :-)

February 3, 2010 at 7:47 PM

Oh come on Dollhouse wasn’t that bad. There are much bigger wastes of space on TV *cough* Heroes *cough*

February 3, 2010 at 2:12 PM

It’s an addiction, Deb. We’re addicted to Chinese water torture.

But seriously, I like Lost because it’s a brain twister, a nice change of pace from “easy” TV. By easy, I mean shows that don’t force you to ponder them long after they’re over.

Example: I love House, but I don’t have to do much thinking when I’m watching House. Once the episode is over, it’s over. But Lost keeps my brain active, and after each episode, I’m still thinking and puzzling and working through everything. It’s great.

I’m not surprised that you don’t enjoy Lost because you didn’t like BSG either, and that show was similar in certain ways. BSG also had many mysteries that kept fans pondering and guessing, and the answers arrived slowly, usually accompanied by more mysteries.

February 3, 2010 at 2:24 PM

You’re completely right — I don’t like to think much after a show. I’ve got a really full life and I’m tired, LOL!

I find myself enjoying shows like House, which can be deep in the moment and make me ooo and ah, but move along at a really good pace so I’m entertained for the 44 minutes and don’t have to wait a whole season (or 5) to get my entertainment value! :-)

Now books are a different story, and I love to think about those after I’m done reading them.

February 3, 2010 at 2:22 PM

Wow, I actually made it farther than you, I quit watching during the first half of season 4. I did watch the Lost for Dummies and the two hour season premiere last night, and while I’m willing to give it another ep or two I have to say I hope they don’t go with the whole double storyline all season. That’s not confusing, it’s just annoying. They’re on the island, they’re back on the original flight, they’re on the island, they’re on the plane, they’re on the island……….it’s like trying to get the truth out of my four year old (whose favorite phrase right now is “the cat did it”)

How did your pants rip? The cat jumped up and grabbed the scissors and cut them!
How did your tent fall down? The cat jumped on top of it and jumped on top of it till it fell!
How did your name get on the wall in the hallway? The cat stole my markers and wrote it even after I told him not to.

See? Annoying.

February 3, 2010 at 2:43 PM

I swam 30 laps this morning and rewatched last nights episodes. I like strawberries, massages, yoga pants and group showers (just kidding about the last, I could not even type that with a straight face).

It’s all good Debbie ;)

February 3, 2010 at 3:02 PM

I’ll have to disagree with Oreo on this one. I thought it was funny, and cute. It’s all in good fun and Lost has certainly opened itself up to those kind of barbs. And I do give you credit for an original take on putting the boots to the show. Plus, two bonus points for the line, “Damon Lindelof’s tainted vision of entertainment.”

February 3, 2010 at 3:24 PM

For that matter, I would give you bonus points for giving credit to Lindelof (and Cuse), instead of Abrams, who has had virtually nothing to do with the show since “creating” it.

February 3, 2010 at 4:51 PM

“Friday Night Lights” had a horrible horrible storyline in Season Two. It was worth not dropping it.

“Flashes Before Your Eyes”, a lost episode, made me so angry I wanted to scream.

Not dropping “Lost” because of it was worth it too.

There’s a reason why “Twin Peaks” has a cult following. It’s an example for shows that didn’t make any sense, went off the air prematurely, and left you with a feeling of being absolutely awesome. Having “Lost” end after six Seasons actually makes me believe that it will all come to a good end.

Oh and final note: I always knew Keith has better taste than you ;-)

February 3, 2010 at 4:52 PM

make that “a ‘Lost’ episode”.

February 3, 2010 at 6:31 PM

Some of us just have perverse taste in television.

February 3, 2010 at 7:42 PM

Does that mean when the show ends I’ll wake up in the chair and go “Did I fall asleep?”

In all honesty there are plenty of times while watching Lost where I will wonder “why am I watching this shit?” and considering giving up. Then something mind blowing happens and I change my mind. This mainly happened during season 2 and the beginning of 3. But then came Ana getting shot, Desmond and Penny, the flashforward…

Yes it can be torture, but its entertaining torture. Plus its better than watching American Idol or Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights.

February 3, 2010 at 7:56 PM

LOL … I love that ending! And even I’ll agree that I’d rather watch Lost than reality TV, though I have been known to get sucked in to Idol on occasion….

February 3, 2010 at 8:40 PM


Great article. A few friends of mine recommended Lost, so the last two weeks I’ve cracked out on the first two seasons.

Somewhere towards the beginning of Season two I began to fast forward through the flashbacks. I was enthralled by the island story and found the flashbacks to be anticlimactic and uninteresting (who really gives two shits about Rose’s cancer).

Then the characters started acting PAINFULLY irrational. I made it to the second episode of the third season before I started googling, “why lost sucks” and “i hate lost” etc.

This show is like a drug. It hooks you with an awesome first season, but after that you’re just tuning in to get your fix of plot resolution.

I would suggest reading Lord of the Flies to anyone wanting to watch Lost; it’s a much better experience.

February 4, 2010 at 7:08 AM

Hmm… this seems to be an appropriate place to link to this Onion News Network video: Final Season of ‘Lost’ Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever.

I can’t tell if Lindelof and Cuse actually appear in it, or if they’re just remarkably similar actors.

February 5, 2010 at 10:54 PM

LOL! Ryan I was just about to post a link to that Onion video. It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

I’m proud to be an annoying Lost nerd, and am fortunate to have a “cube-mate” at work with whom I can get all the theorizing and plot-twisting out of my system. It’s hard not to be irritated by people who complain the show “confuses” them, since I love the intricacies of the story line and can’t wait to see which direction it goes next. But I guess that’s why they air “The Biggest Loser” at the same time… for everyone else.

February 28, 2010 at 7:19 AM

Hmmm, I to found this site because after making it through the beginning of the third season I started to wonder if there were people out there who hate the show as much as I do,

I started watching it on a recommendation of a friend, who claims it’s the best thing to come across television. I would have to say, it’s beyond awful, and I really like your Dollhouse comparison (granted it is an awful show itself) it is certainly less offensive analogy than the one I was using to describe Lost fans…

Amanda, it’s not that the show is confusing, it’s not confusing at all. It’s just really bad, it’s poorly written, poorly filmed, and not to mention all of the actors are absolutely dreadful. What it reminds me of, is one of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books I used to read when I was about 9 years old, no matter which way you go, you end up dying, unless you pick the “one” right path to the end of the book…. I wish they would hurry up and pick the right patch before I claw my eyes out.

I believe a show like this would have been much better, had they capped it to three seasons, but they had to add all this meaningless fluff to the middle to milk it for as much money as they could, probably due to the fact that ABC hasn’t had a successful primetime TV show in a lifetime.

A great idea, bad follow through.