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Entourage – Why not just pretend the Google guys are funding the entire thing?

In a mildly hyped, and totally worthless guest appearance, John Stamos proves it's possible to do a poor job playing yourself on a TV show … assuming that’s not really him.

The only thing good about last night’s otherwise miserable episode of Entourage was the half-hearted attempt to run with the LA Golds story line, something that was missing last week. Other than that? Let us painfully count the ways.

Listening to Turtle and Alex “banter” — and I’m using that word rather loosely — made me want to crack a bottle of that crappy tequila over their heads. She’s annoying, he’s annoying for having any interest in her, sexual or otherwise, and was it just me, or did her uncle, played by Miguel Sandoval, seem ready to prostitute her in exchange for this deal going through? Turtle should have ran the second Vince’s name came up … with some condoms of cocaine up his bum to make the trip worthwhile.

John Stamos could not have been more disappointing, the total opposite of appearances by his former costar Bob Saget (any chance Saget is due back to rain on Drama’s parade?). I don’t know what he was meant to seem like, but whatever it was it didn’t translate well. And why would Vince have hung around once it was clear that his presence was preventing Stamos from paying any attention to Drama? Stamos scored telling Drama that he didn’t have the build for ping pong, whatever that means, but otherwise that entire chapter was awful.

Eric’s been boring up until now, but the fact that he’d even consider kissing and making up with Scott makes me sick. I can’t stand that guy, and anything that keeps him hanging around is disastrous.

Ari was finally back on track, until a call from Andrew (Gary Cole) redirected him onto this Lizzie (Autumn Reeser) nonsense. Is this what “The King” should be spending his time on? No! He should get back to pretending that he’s on the phone with Jeffrey Katzenberg … if they couldn’t get Katzenberg to do a guest spot, why bother pretending he’s involved?

Is another impromptu trip to Vegas what the boys need right now? You’ll remember that the last time they went Vince and Ari won big at the tables, Drama’s masseur got into his bed naked, Turtle signed Vince up to judge a stripper contest, and Eric and Seth Green went round and round a few times … not really the best experience.

All in all a miserable episode. One observation I can make is this: I think the show is coming back around to season one, when everything and anything revolved around, and depended on, Vince. Think about it … Turtle’s business success depends on Vince agreeing to be the face of a tequila brand. Eric’s success depends on his ability to wrestle Vince back from Scott’s clutches, because without Vince Eric’s nothing. And Drama’s success is probably going to rely on Vince agreeing to appear on his new show, because Drama will likely screw things up with Stamos again … or as I surmised above, Stamos may prefer to work with someone else, and only Vince’s intervention will save the project for Johnny. Either way, it’s all on Vince.

Which isn’t a bad place for the show to be … if Vince wasn’t off his rocker at the moment. Thankfully we were spared his devil-may-care garbage this time around — although hanging with Scott is pretty much throwing caution to the wind as far as taste in human beings go — but I doubt that will last long.

The last thing Entourage needs is Vince hanging off of a cliff while Drama, Eric, and Turtle all try to contact him for their own purposes, while Ari wastes his time building a Hollywood coalition against annoying, and insignificant, Lizzie.

We’re in trouble if things are headed in that direction.

51EP7eTEWsL. SL160 Entourage season 7 Vinnie and the Chasers are back!51WmA%2BimfyL. SL160 Entourage season 7 Vinnie and the Chasers are back!

Photo Credit: HBO

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6 Responses to “Entourage – Why not just pretend the Google guys are funding the entire thing?”

July 26, 2010 at 2:03 PM

Huh? What? Vegas? Uhm… what? I can’t even remember that trip to be honest.

I thought the episode was ok, had a few laughs and didn’t annoy me. And even when Entourage annoys me it usually manages to keep me interested in the show. Don’t know why. I like the glitter, the tits and the booze I guess. Maybe I’m just shallow when it comes to Entourage, who knows. There were seasons I really disliked the show for being annoying but I stuck with it and at the moment I am not annoyed at all by anything. And usually there’s at least one story that annoys me to no end. I think I’ve been annoyed at every single one of the guys over time and maybe it’s just that I accepted them for who they are on the show. Dunno. It’s kinda strange when I think about it, because I think you CAN be angry about the points you mentioned but I’m simply not. I guess to me the show is Popcorn TV. High production value, lots of eye candy. I like that.

July 26, 2010 at 6:34 PM

. . . . .

*sigh*

I’m with you, Aryeh. This episode wasn’t even a convoluted mess. It was just *meh*.

I’m going to get my biggest gripe out of the way first, then move on to other less significant items. (As if there were any significant items in this episode to recount …):

Continuity. Con. Tih. New. Itty. Guys, seriously: Who the hell is running any sort of trail on where any of the actors is at in the context of their scenes? This bugs the crap out of me. Drama switched hands hold his beer so many times when Stamos first appeared on the scene I got dizzy. And no … there wasn’t an inkling of evidence this was a natural progression in the entire act. It was unadulterated sloppiness. And it wasn’t even an action scene being played out – just talk, talk. Can someone call The Powers That Be and tell them to take a little pride in what is being put on the screen? Please?

Have I told you I hate Drama lately? I believe I have. But I may have just found someone to hate even more: Stamos. For all the reasons listed above (and more), Stamos’ stint in this chapter was dippy. Rather a waste.

I may have found a character love like, however, in this offering: Turtle.

Really? Turtle? Yes … and here’s why:

The story line is so craptastic, it almost makes Turtle attractive. Fun to watch. Especially while he whines and moans about the myriad of reasons Alex will / cannot / won’t / could / might sleep with him. Then, there’s the tequila jag … and the gun toting … and the real reason Turtle’s gone south of the border. Kind of boring, yes … but trouble is beginning to stir and that’s always good for difficulties and stirring stuff up.

Ari’s story line right now? *meh* Lizzie? E? *meh & meh* And, of course, the Drama story line? It’s leading up to – I hope – a big implosion. Please.

Meanwhile … if anyone at HBO wants to contact me about being their continuity guy, you can get hold of me through CliqueClack. They have my number.

July 27, 2010 at 10:49 AM

I miss those little “visual” things, since I can’t see the finer details without glasses, and I never remember to wear them. But I’ll take your word for it.

Turtle’s dialogue with Alex was just painful. And so pathetic … how many times does she have to say no before he feels gross for trying to convince her to sleep with him?

July 26, 2010 at 8:52 PM

Stamos was awful. Vince is becoming annoying. Eric and Scott are annoying. Ari and Lizzie are annoying.

This episode did nothing for me and any episode with ping pong and a gun-toting Tequila magnate should have been worth something.

They need to sort Vince out and get him in the swing again. He’s the glue.

July 27, 2010 at 10:51 AM

Is ping pong usually at the heart of high-octane stories? ;)

July 27, 2010 at 11:58 AM

. . . . .

I was under the impression it was.

(Watch out for that dripping sarcasm I left behind. I wouldn’t want you to slip on it and hurt yourself …)

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