Mozzie joined Peter and Neal as a headliner on this past week of White Collar, and the result was a hilariously notable, if not entirely quotable, episode. A lot of the one-liners are tough to capture out-of-context, but we tried to piece together some of the more mentionable exchanges. Plus Dark Blue submitted what may have been its first entry to the quotes compilation during its season two premiere … granted it only works because Dylan McDermott said it, but you can’t discount it on that account.
Blood Ties virgin diary
“Whatever happened to beauty before age?” – young, female night club patron
“Age stomped beauty’s ass.” – Vicki
“In the turns-to-stone department, I’m thinking a basilisk or a gorgon.” – Coreen
“Great. One’s an herb, the other’s a cheese.” – Vicki
Burn Notice
“I raised two boys, Jesse. I know how to search a house.” – Madeline
“I miss my old job.” – Jesse
Dark Blue
“I don’t date, but if I did … they’d call back.” – Carter to Agent Rice
House virgin diary
“I didn’t know you rode the bus.” – Cuddy
“I used to drive home after getting drunk. But some mothers got MADD.” – House
Leverage
“You’re seriously going to let Whitman get away with this?” – Eliot
“Eliot, I stole you a train. Have a little faith.” – Nate
“Do you know why — just as an example — why driving this car is like making love to a beautiful woman?” – Sophie, as car salesperson
“Because I’ve never done either before in my life?” – Customer
Make It or Break It
“What’s wrong?” – Carter
“Is our whole relationship just about sex?” – Lauren
“No … it’s about safe sex.” – Carter
True Blood
“I would love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat.” – Lorena
“I’ve never tasted anything like you…. What are you?” – Lorena
“I’m the bitch that’s going to kill you!” – Sookie
“You know, it’s funny. I never thought I was smart enough to get depressed, but, here I am.” – Jason
White Collar
“Slash and grab … frame’s too high.” – Neal to Peter, on the unlikelihood that Mozzie stole the painting
“Can you give me Gina’s last name?” – Neal
“And then some.” – Mozzie, handing Neal a file
“This is a little creepy.” – Neal
“Oh, that’s nothing.” – Mozzie
“You ever wonder why you’ve never been introduced? She meets you and suddenly I become the quirky friend.” – Mozzie to Neal, on Gina
“What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Gina?” – Peter
“Intellectual … literal … ongoing….” – Mozzie
“Is he stalking her?” – Peter, to Neal
“I’d have to look up the legal definition.” – Neal
Futurama
See all the great quotes from last week’s episode in Keith’s Futurama post.
Psych
See all the great quotes from last week’s episode in Keith’s Psych post.