I’m Polish — if I had known they’d be wearing babushka’s on the Amazing Race I might have actually watched. I boycott reality shows in general and from the quotes this baby puts out, I fear I might have missed out on seasons of fun and excitement.
“I know if you used those tweezers on those rather large hairs in your nostrils, it would work wonders. When was the last time a man expressed interest in you? Hmm? Be honest.” – Tuttle to Dasha
“Oh cool! A tiny weapon standoff!” – Tuttle
“It’s just so thrilling. It reminds me of this great episode of Alias. I loved that show!” – Tuttle
“I like how they keep their buildings instead of blowin’ ‘em up.” – Nick admiring the architecture of St. Petersburg
“Yeah, like in Vegas, they blow up everything.” – Vicki
“Hello, beautiful ladies. I have your poop and potatoes.” – Kevin arriving at the Detour location
“And my shoes came off into the manure. That was a special moment.” – Mallory at the Detour
“It was a little bit of race with a whole lot of drag, but just more queen than cars.” – Nick referring to the babushka outfit he had to wear
“Good news! You are married. Time to take the lid off the cookie jar.” – Paul, upon finding out Beth is a virgin who had been saving herself for marriage
“Stop calling it that.” – Beth
“Give me a cookie and I will.” – Paul
“I always check out the guys before I bring ‘em home. I don’t want to end up handcuffed to my bed for three days. Again.” – Renee
“Moving on to Article 47 … strip clubs in the outer boroughs.” – Serena, making me really wonder what Article 46 was
How I Met Your Mother
“What do you have to say for yourself for tearing down a beautiful old building just to put up a stupid bank headquarters?” – Zoey
“Boo … freaking … hoo.” – Ted
“Why are you saying it like that? They never arrived at the downtown office.” – Marshal
“The … Well … Just to make sure we’re on the same page … is ‘send them downtown’ not an expression for shredding a document?” – Randy
“Why do I feel like you’re already on his side?” – Cate
“That’s an interesting question … Why do you?” – Therapist
“Hey. So, are you stoked for your camping trip? Get it … stoked, like you’d stoke a fire?” – Baze
“Ah. How long have you been waiting to say that one?” – Lux
“About an hour. So, are you fired up?” – Baze
“Drive, Intelligence, Humility, Chaos, or the acronym DIHC. I’m looking for DIHC Avery, and I’m going to take it wherever I can find it.” – Jack, describing what he looks for in a person to mentor
“I was gonna take this class called ‘Cooking for One,’ but the teacher killed himself.” – Liz
“Shoulders back, Lemon. You’re not welcoming people to castle Frankenstein.” – Jack
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
“We share a bed.” – Frank
“Well, not every night!” – Charlie
“I’m a little confused. Are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?” – High School Principal interviewing Charlie (played by Dave Foley)
“I am SHATTERED TO PIECES!” – Dee’s drama teacher who just had a bad fall
“Are you, are you acting right now?” – Dee
“NO I’M NOT ACTING, YOU BITCH!” – Teacher
“I wanna know who finished the wine without opening another bottle.” – Jules
“Once you go Andy, all the rest are blandy.” – Ellie
Clacked by Carissa Pavlica 
on Nov 07, 2010 @ 19:53 EST5EDT
