Masterchef – The second season begins. With haggis?!

My guilty summer pleasure is here again. No, it’s not placing pointy rocks strategically around my yard to make the neighborhood children cry if they run across my lawn! I’m much too sophisticated for that. Mostly. Nope. It’s munching some juicy blueberries and watching me some Gordon Ramsay and Masterchef!

Although it’s much too early to call a winner, judge Joe Bastianich sorta did, in Massachusetts cook Christian Collins. Why? Why did he do this to me? Lately, reality competition judges have been calling winners at the auditions (see this year’s American Idol) and it bugs me. Let the suspense build a little people. Or are you just sooo intent on making yourself stand out as the “I called it first!” judge, that you’ve got to ruin it for the rest of the class? Grrr, I say.

In this first audition, there were already tears. And singing and pleading and begging and a naked girl. Yep. I said a naked girl, with sushi served on her body (ala Samantha in that one Sex and the City episode.) As Gordon remarked, “This is the kind of place where I don’t want to find a hair in my food.” I agree — it was truly cringe-worthy.

As was the dish served up by that nice Scottish lady that Gordon liked so much. She got her apron by making the judges a lovely haggis. No, haggis is not your mother-in-law nicely marinated and chopped up in a sauce. But it’s almost that disgusting. It’s a bunch of animal hearts and kidneys and such, boiled in the lining of a sheep. Yes, don’t forget that part. Without the tasty gastrointestinal juices of the sheep’s tummy, your haggis just will not be special! Suffice it to say, she’s moving on. And that’s all I have to say about that.

My favorite so far is the “Gator Guy.” Despite his questionable teeth and butt tattoo (which he happily displayed); that guy can cook up some roadkill! Go, buddy!

The final thing I took away from Masterchef this time around was … white truffle oil is evil and must be destroyed. I have no idea what it is, but apparently it’s the most pretentious and annoying thing on the planet currently, aside from Barbra Streisand.

I can’t wait to see more Tuesday night! Come on! Play along!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jun 06, 2011 @ 22:52 EST5EDT