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Planking won’t do it on American Idol

You've got to show killer voice skills or diverse, inventive initiative to move along on 'Idol.' Or - per the dopes at VFTW - just be in the right place at the right time.

- Season 11, Episode 2 - "Auditions #2 - Pittsburgh"

So … what sort of people audition for American Idol anyway? Well, let’s see: Scat-ers. 15 year-old (slightly) Beiber-(kinda)wannabees. Freaky street performers. Brother and sister teams. Wedding singers. Mobile DJs. Coal miners. Suicide survivors. High school dropouts. Plankers. Cry babies. People who live in tents. Let’s take one hopeful auditionee, watch her video and regard her chances:

Of Hallie Day, JLo gushed: “She’s amazing … she could win.”

JLo’s dreamin’. No, she can’t and no, she won’t. While not bad on the surface, I’m making a prediction right here, right now: Hallie Day will not make it through the Hollywood Rounds. Why? She’s one-dimensional. I’m confident all we saw of her during her audition is all she’s got to give. There’s nothing more.

There are a few tricks on getting through the Idol journey to the upper tiers of the competition. Some Bozos (specifically, the ones at Vote For The Worst) think it’s all smoke and mirrors, but it’s not. (By the way, the article in that link is half a decade old and – while it does hold elements of truth – is the product of VFTW so take it with a grain of salt.) Some of those tricks to getting through include having a killer voice, making an winning impression on the judges and exhibiting resourcefulness … as Phillip Phillips showed us in Savannah. All excellent bets on improving your chances of advancement.

One dimensionality? Nope. That’s not gonna do it. And neither is planking … as displayed by that guy in the photo above.

Combo Notes and Quotes:

  • I see Steven Tyler is getting his “creep” on early in the season. He outright called World Series pitcher Joe McGrane’s daughter Shannon on the premiere (Joe: “How are things in Beantown?” / Steven: “Hot, humid and happenin’ … just like your daughter …”) and this episode he ogled Hallie Day visually and vocally: “I like watching her while she sings.” And so it begins.
  • JLo?  I saw you yanking on your shorty-short and bare mid-riff outfit so much on day 2 of Pittsburgh I was ready to offer you my belt. (Did I say “And so it begins” yet?)

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Categories: | American Idol | Episode Reviews | Features | General | News | TV Shows | Videos |

One Response to “Planking won’t do it on American Idol”

January 20, 2012 at 2:20 PM

One thing nice about this show … it was only an hour long. We saw mainly the people who WERE going to Hollywood, and I still yawned my way through it.

When the “15 year-old (slightly) Beiber-(kinda)wannabee”, Ebon was finished, my first thought was, “Really? That’s it. A good haircut, a cute face, and a trained voice? Huh? I thought I was supposed to feel something.” Sad thing is, I felt he has a lot more he is holding in reserve, and he put out only enough to get him to Hollywood. It worked, but turned me off.

Then there was the wedding singer I thought didn’t even have the good haircut. She might make it to group night in Hollywood, but I’ll be shocked if she goes farther. Unless, somehow, she can bring the excitement she showed over the golden ticket into her singing.

I agree with you about Hallie Day. The similarity to Blondie was not only obvious, I’m sure it was intentional. Decent song choice, good back story, nice voice … but just not someone who is going to win. As a matter of fact, after seeing some of her earlier photos, I think the young Hallie had more potential than she does today.

One contestant did interest me, however. A gutsy guy with a dream putting himself out there completely. Yep, the coal miner who overreached himself by attempting Hallelujah. If he had done “In The Still Of The Night” for the audition instead of the camera and other miners, he night have made it. Or maybe the acoustics in a coal mine are extra special. I hope he comes back next year, because I’d like to see this one again.