Quotation Marks – Pretty Little Liars, True Blood, Futurama

Longmire (review)

“We have a Ferg.” – Sheriff Longmire attempting to make Ferg into a one-man SWAT team.

Girls (review)

“I just thought …” — Hannah
“Don’t just think, that’s an extremely unattractive feature of your generation.” — Ray

“I thought: If I ever saw that crazy b**** again, I’d make her my f****** wife!” — Thomas

“They just met two weeks ago.” — Hannah
“Time is a rubber band.” — Adam

“Everyone’s a dumb whore.” — Shoshanna

“I am thirteen pounds overweight, and it has been a huge burden my whole life!” — Hannah

“This doesn’t hurt.” — Shoshanna
“Good, because I haven’t done anything yet.” — Ray

Lost Girl (review)

“You got up at noon and took a two-hour nap!” — Bo, when Kenzi suddenly wants to go out

“Did you try Wikipedia?” — Trick to a witch doctor-hunting Lauren

“Wait, what? Give me back my friendship beer!” — Bo, when Dyson claims he and Bo were not really worth discussing

“Could have been worse – could have ingested Trick’s creme de squid.” Hale on the poisoned beer
Kenzi: “That is NOT a thing?”

“Hey guys, how would I know if the dude was inside me?” — Kenzi
“Been a while?” — Hale

“Why would I trust the horror movie cliche that sent me to Hammer-geddon?” — Bo to the Harbinger

“I’ll get the name tags!” — Trick, once everyone else is switched

“Nobody uses my bestie’s body without buying her a drink first!” — Kenzi-in-Dyson, to Woods-in-Bo

The Borgias (review)

“Nanny, think little Giovanni’s done a … you know.” — Alexander

 Dallas (review)

“Well you’re lookin’ pretty spry for all that you’ve been through, old fella. Cliff Barnes, remember me?” — Cliff Barnes
“Time has not been kind to that face, but I do recall the smell of brimstone and crazy.” — JR

“Bullets don’t seem to have much of an effect on me, darlin’.” — JR to Ann, who thought he was an intruder.

Futurama (review)

“To the employment cave!” — Zoidberg after seeing the Planet Express signal in the sky

“Yes, everything your body does is perfectly natural … Except masturbation! That’s just wrong!” — Sex Ed Video

“Aw, I’m going to call him Ben after the first half of me … Bender!” — Bender

“I’ll save you, pants! Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease?” — Fry
“What viscosity do you need?” — Scruffy

“So the world will end in 3012 … why does that year sound so familiar?” — Fry
“Because that’s the year that’s this year!” — Professor

“Some of us were crazy before it was cool!” — Number 9 soothsayer to the rioters

“Well, it wasn’t a bad life. If only I could get back that time I spent watching Tron: Legacy.” — Leela
“Leela, I made up my mind. Before we die, I’m going to find and destroy every remaining copy of Tron: Legacy. It may take a couple of hours, but …” — Fry

“There’s a dam!” – Bender
“Damn!” – Ben
“There’s a grate!” – Bender
“Great!” – Ben

Late Show With David Letterman

“Do me a favor: Don’t go nuts. You know what I mean? Because more and more you see [gestures at his arms and shoulders] like the mural and the Sistine Chapel … it’s too much …” — Letterman encouraging Justin Bieber to lay off getting any more tattoos
“I’m not going for the 16th chapel …” — Bieber responds
“Canadian high school …” — Letterman deadpans and smiles

Wilfred (Review)

“Hear me out: Do you know why dogs dig?” — Wilfred
“‘… ‘Cause they’re searching for bones?” — Ryan
“Because we’re searching for truth …” — Wilfred

“Don’t you want to know who you are?” — Wilfred
“I know who I am. and I know what you are: You’re the part of me that lies to me … and I’m through listening …” — Ryan

The Thick of It

“I despise him as much as fucking James May presumably despises himself.” — Malcolm (Peter Capaldi) on Steve Fleming