I’ll be first to admit that juicing may not be for everyone. No, I’m not referring to the use of steroids, you fool. I’m talking about taking whole vegetables and fruits and throwing them in a machine that grinds them up, leaving you with the pulp at one end and just the juice at the other. Deb and I started juicing about seven or eight years ago, and we’d sort of just stopped or forgot about it for the past three. We decided to pick the habit back up again for several reasons. For one, that caffeine-free jolt of energy we used to get from juicing was gone, and we wanted that back again. More importantly, though, was that I noticed that when I was juicing years ago, I never got a cold. I mean never. Then, in the past few years, I just kept getting damned colds all fall and winter long, and I was sick of it. “Gee, I used to never get sick years ago. What happened?” I thought. “Oh yeah, I used to juice and now I don’t.” Time to break out the Juiceman again.

For years Deb and I have used what I thought to be one hell of a great juicer, the Juiceman. And it was great, for the many years we used it. Then, as we started once again to use it daily this year, it pretty much died on me. I threw one too many carrots in the thing, and the whole thing kicked like a wild bronco, threw the juice and pulp container everywhere — even to the ceiling — and smelled a bit like something inside was burning. Not good. It was obvious the little champ had outlived its lifespan and it was time to kick things up a notch.

After a little research — mostly based on reviews on Amazon.com product pages — I decided to give the highly-rated and reasonably-priced Breville juicer a go. Initially I was looking into the possibility of getting a masticating juicer rather than a centrifugal juicer like the Juiceman. This was because I really like to throw a lot of dark, leafy greens into the machine, and a masticating juicer reportedly works better with that sort of thing. Rather than using a fast-spinning grater to tear the leaves apart for juice, leaving perhaps too much waste in the end, a masticating machine takes out a whole lot more juice out of even barley grass that you put into it. The biggest drawback, though, is that you have to cut up your material so small that it’s quite a pain to use regularly. If you want to throw full carrots and apples into a machine in one go, you need a centrifugal machine.

The first thing I’ll say about the Breville is it’s a work of art. As soon as I took it out of its box, I could tell this baby was going to last us a lifetime. It feels solidly built and couldn’t be simpler to assemble. In fact, it has one fewer piece than the Juiceman, and there are really no areas at all where unseen juice might seep into or hide from even a vigorous dishwasher. The grating basket even has one additional feature my Juiceman didn’t have, with dual blades at the center to give your veggies a good initial dicing before letting the graters do their job.

After a thorough washing of all the parts, I couldn’t wait to give this thing a try. Turning it on for the first time was sweet music. The 700W motor kicked in and was practically singing a song of “FEED ME,” begging for me to toss in even the heaviest vegetables and fruits. Unlike the Juiceman, the feeding tube on the Breville is huge. Seriously, you can fit a whole apple into the tube without needing to cut it, and, of course, I did. The machine barely made a wimper as it annihilated the entire apple in about a second, and the provided juice container quickly showed the glorious results. The Breville would have laughed at me if it could, as I tossed in carrot after carrot that disappeared into orange fibers and liquid as quickly as if I’d have fed it to a famished horse. Whereas the entire juice would have taken me five minutes to complete with the Juiceman, the Breville completed the task on one.

The dream didn’t end there. Cleanup couldn’t be easier. As I said, there are very few if any crevices in the pieces of the machine, so you can practically rinse the pieces out without much scrubbing if any at all. The metal basket certainly needs cleaning, and there’s even a provided brush to make that task all the easier and safer for you. Everything is kept so separate from the main base unit that it’s kept squeaky clean after every use, nary a drop ever having touched it. Also, of course, all of the pieces — save the motor unit — are dishwasher safe.

Now, some who herald the benefits of a masticating juicer may have a point in that it makes far less waste than a centrifugal unit, though, admittedly, I have no experience with one to know for certain. However, if you’re one to composte your veggie and fruit discards all the time as we do, it’s pretty difficult to feel at all guilty about any sort of waste going on. That stuff is going to make composte that your gardens and plants will love, which gets you better plants that take less to take care of from commercial products. It’s all a win-win.

Alright, so not such a “quick” review, but I think you see now that I’m giving the Breville Juice Fountain high praise here and give it the CliqueClack seal of approval. Let us know if you want us to highlight more of the benefits we’ve seen from juicing here on CliqueClack Food, and we’ll make a point of it!

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIuhThWzlkk

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Cake vs. pie. It’s an age-old question that people have been fighting over for millenia (which is weird, because the answer is cake, obvs.). However, Charles Phoenix has found the solution: The Cherpumple, dessert’s answer to the Turducken. The Cherpumple takes the best of both worlds and combines them in a truly hellish way.

First, you take those lovely pre-baked Sara Lee pies from your grocer’s freezer; He uses cherry, pumpkin and apple, and basically bake them into a cake. Each pie goes with a different cake layer. Then you frost the whole thing with cream cheese icing and say, “Yes, Virginia. This is why you’re fat.”

The whole thing looks absolutely terrifying, and I dare you guys to make one– I really want to know how delicious/disgusting it is. One thing’s for certain though: as you’ll see at the end of the video, mechanics love the Cherpumple. My only question is, Cherpumple a la mode? Or would that be ridiculous?

Welcome to Salivation Station. Turn the channel to Internet food video bites, for your one-way ticket to endless salivation.

I love spicy food. I love spicy stuff so much that I’m starting to wonder if I’m some sort of masochist, sometimes chomping into tiny, raw hot peppers just to see how hot they are. Probably the hottest pepper I’ve ever eaten raw was a Habanero, which is something between 100-350k on the Scoville scale. Really freaking hot … or at least I thought, until I read about the notorious Naga Jolokia pepper (sometimes also called the “Bhut Jolokia” or “Ghost” pepper). That sucker weighs in at over 1 million Scovilles!

This brave soul decided to take a Bhut Jolokia for a spin and post the video telling his gruesome tale. Stick around until the end — it’s worth it.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NNzI3RTZ7I

That mythical “Habanero Gold Bullet” he talks about appears to be somewhat real in that you can buy seeds for it. I’m tempted to buy the seeds and see if I can grow a plant. There goes that masochism again….

There’s more to food than recipes. We’ll approach the answers to growing questions, and new ways of taking on tricks of the food trade, and Boil It Down for you.

Deb (and probably Bob) has mentioned on a few occasions already that her father is one hell of a cook. A few times when I’ve watched him cook, he’s done this fancy pan flipping food thing that I’d only previously seen on Food Network shows. Up until recently, I’d been mixing my veggies and such using a spatula or a spoon, e.g. the total wuss way. That’s because flipping food in a pan isn’t as hard as it looks.

First of all, this video by the one and only Ming Tsai is a good place to start if you want to learn how to get the hang of the handy trick:

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=noizuQwvL0M

He makes it all seem so easy, doesn’t he? Well, the thing is, he seems to have left out a pointer or two.

First of all, it’s really, really hard to flip food in certain pans. Unless you’re a bodybuilder, you’re not going to find yourself flipping food all that easily in a cast-iron pan. No, you’ll want to do this with something like a stainless steel pan, like the one used in the video. Many of them are lightweight and easy to maneuver for a trick like this.

Secondly, the pan should have a good bowl shape to its sides. Sure, you can do the pan flippy thing with any pan, but you’re going to have a tougher time getting some good air from your veggies if you’re using a straight-walled saute pan. What I’ve found is that you use that rounded edge as a sort of ramp to lift the food out of the pan; you’re not really tossing the food up, you’re sliding it down, up and out, then bringing the pan back down under it. Make sense? No? Just look at the video above again and pay attention to what Ming’s doing and you’ll catch a little of it in action.

Follow these tips and, before you know it, the days of mixing your veggies and rice with a spatula in the pan will be ancient history. Impress friends at parties! Make the ladies swoon! Be the life of the bar mitzvah! Or, you know, just have one less thing to throw in the dishwasher.

Firstly, Julia was a kickass chef. She studied in France, like all world class chefs seem to do, and she was a master of just about anything in the kitchen. From omelets to beef bourguignon, the lady could do it all. Not only that, but she made everything look easy. Heck, her kitchen is in the Smithsonian now!

Secondly, Julia is pretty much responsible for the success of cooking shows on television. She definitely popularized the genre and paved the way for all the great future TV chefs. Without Julia Child, I don’t think there would be a Jacques Pepin, Emeril Lagasse, or Bobby Flay. I know I have a lot of fond memories watching The French Chef with my dad on the weekends. I think a lot of my love of cooking stemmed from those lazy Sunday afternoons watching cooking shows when I was just a youngster.

Then, as if Julia weren’t cool enough, news broke a few years back that she was a spy. That’s right, super chef just wasn’t enough, she was a frickin’ spy, people! Of course, that makes me imagine that she was running through the streets beating up bad guys, Sydney Bristow-style, when in fact that (probably) didn’t happen. Nonetheless, there aren’t that many people who can say they were a spy.

Join me in basking in Julia’s awesomeness as she manhandles some omelets like they just stole some secret papers from the vault.

Do you have a favorite pizza sauce? As much as I love a good old fashioned red sauce pizza, I tend to detest jarred pizza sauces. They are never the right consistency for me (too smooth and runny) and they’re too salty.

I’ve gotten around that in a couple of different ways. Sometimes, I’ll just use canned tomato sauce with no salt added and dress it up with a little garlic powder, oregano, basil and freshly ground black pepper. Other times, I’ll drain a can of diced tomatoes, pulse them a bit in my food processor and add the herbs and spices.

I’ve found a video (thanks YouTube!) that demonstrates how to make the world’s easiest tomato sauce for pizza. It’s one of those, “Why didn’t I think of that?” moments as you watch it, but then you realize that unless you are fond of digging into a can of gourmet Italian tomatoes and squeezing shamelessly that it probably wouldn’t have occurred to you.

Nevertheless, this is probably the perfect pizza sauce if you’re looking for taste and texture along with ease and speed. Try it — just wash your hands first.

I love bacon. So do you. Yes, you do. Yeah, even you Kona, though they call that “faken.” Alright, now I just lost my appetite. But not for bacon.

One of the problems with at least traditional bacon is the big mess it makes. It’s messy taking it out of the package. It’s messy cooking it. It’s messy cleaning up from it. Hell, it’s messy eating the stuff. Some people microwave it, covered in paper towels. Others will fry it up in a pan with the stove exhaust on full blast. Why is it that we love bacon again? Oh yeah, it tastes freakin’ awesome.

Here’s a gadget I happened upon on YouTube some time ago that is both brilliant and downright gross. The WowBacon Microwave Cooker is basically a microwave-safe drink pitcher with hangers for your slabs of bacon. Since they’re not laying in their own grease, there’s less mess and less fat on the meat. When the bacon’s cooked, you apparently pour the fat out into a jar for safe keeping. There goes that loss of appetite again.

Personally, I enjoy bacon more when it’s pan or griddle fried. Something about it just tastes better. Maybe it’s because the flavor is in that precious grease I’d be eliminating by using the “scientifically enclosed” WowBacon.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwgA5wOu7S0

Video Jug’s tutorial on how to eat sushi (embedded after the jump) is a complete hoot. It’s organized into steps, from the place setting, the sake and the green tea, to rubbing together the chopsticks to get rid of the splinter hazard possibilities and exactly — I mean exactly! — how to dip your fish into the soy sauce.

I have never, ever in my life met anyone who approached sushi so seriously. It borders on the creepy, and you might just think it was a spoof video if you didn’t know better. But you know what? This video is not only spot-on accurate, but it’s darned useful if you find a sushi meal intimidating.

My favorite parts are the warnings on how not to offend your host. Why not be the host — you know it won’t be a stuffy occasion that way! Now, the commenters over on Video Jug were a bit harsh, even questioning the accuracy of some of the facts presented in the video. I say if you like extra wasabi, add it — put it in your soy sauce, plop it on your fish, mash it into your rice. Who cares, as long as you chew with your mouth closed and enjoy every bite!

Back to the serious … it reminds me of the old video tutorials on workplace etiquette, most recently enjoyed on Lost, when they found the old Dharma Initiative videos in the hatch, or the spoofs on That ’70s Show, you remember the ones.

Regardless, it’s an informative four minutes that completely takes the joy out of the sushi experience, yet you can’t help but love it in that twisted way you have. You know how you can be. Watch it, laugh, then eat your sushi, perhaps a little more aware of how you dip your fish….

Dining Etiquette: How To Eat Sushi

I am a genius. I have know this for years. I do love it when I get the chance to prove to others that I am a genius, though.

Way back in the dark ages, when I was a young strapping lad in college (yeah that’s right — I am your worst nightmare; I am a Redneck with an education and I am not afraid to use it.), my room mate Mark and I worked very hard to make sure we did not have to do dishes very often. We used metal pie plates to not only cook in, but to then eat from. We were fortunate that we lived right next door to a KFC, and just half a block from a Pizza place. We would eat a lot of pizza because everything was there. We had a serving platter and plates and the main course, all in a convenient carry out container.

We would cut the box lid off and cut it into quarters for plates. On the rare occasion there was any pizza left over we would cut down the bottom of the box to store the leftovers in the fridge. We did this not so much to keep the pizza from drying out but more because we did not have a fridge big enough to fit a full-size pizza box. The only mistake I made was not getting a patent on my invention. Who new in 1983 that the environmental movement would become what it has. Not only am I a genius, I am a visionary too. I invented eco-friendly and didn’t even know it. This video from you tube is all the proof you need.

Yea I know. you are all lucky to know me too.

I admit it — I’ve got a bit of a girl crush on Heidi Swanson. It’s not physical; in fact, I barely know what she looks like (well, before watching this video anyway). I love Heidi for her mind and her palate. Thanks Bob, for introducing me to the world of Heidi Swanson via her cookbook, Super Natural Cooking: Five Ways To Incorporate Whole and Natural Ingredients into Your Cooking – a great Christmas gift!

Naturally, I have since devoured her blog, 101 Cookbooks, in addition to the cookbook.

So imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon a video — yeah, a video! — on Heidi’s blog, demonstrating how to make Big Sur power bars. I’m always on the lookout for a good power bar recipe, for a number of reasons:

• Most store-bought power bars use isolated soy protein as an ingredient, and I don’t make it a habit to eat unfermented soy regularly, for health reasons.
• Owen, the four-year-old, has multiple food allergies, and finding a store-bought power bar without wheat, certain nuts and said soy protein is a tall order.
• Added sugar is just plain unnecessary when you’re talking about good, wholesome ingredients blended together, and so many store-bought power bars are full of the stuff.
• Hydrogenated wha…?

Anyway, you get the point. Although Heidi’s recipe wasn’t perfect, it inspired me, and the inspiration is all about the video. I have a confession to make: although I’ve been collecting power bar recipes, I’ve never made one, because they look like such a huge undertaking. I could never quite get up the nerve to try it.

Watching Heidi’s video has shown me that making your own power bars is probably one of the simplest things you can do. What was I waiting for, a hand-engraved invitation? No, but apparently a how-to video needed to come my way….

Thing is, what about the children? Let’s face it, your kids aren’t really into drinking alcohol. And, frankly, I don’t know a young lad or lassie who wouldn’t put a bottle-full of ketchup on their cabbage just to swallow it down. Oh, you can ply them with Irish soda bread and shamrock-shaped cookies, but that involves time for preparation and cooking that can be better used for drinking Guinness, eating corned beef and cabbage, and making sure the area is clear of flammables. So, what one simple thing can you feed your kids to celebrate this holiday?

Two words: Lucky Charms.

Now, just calm down there for a moment! Yes, this product is in no way related whatsoever to the holiday. Yet, there is just enough ‘Irish’ to it to make it a least a little part. First and foremost, it’s a cereal, and breakfast is the most important part of the day. Second, it has a long history: it was created back in 1963 by the General Mills company.

Third, the kids like it! Both the little, toasted oat bits and the marshmallow shapes give the cereal a crunchy, yet cool and sweet taste that tends not to mush up after sitting in milk for long periods of time (it’s like the marshmallow shapes act as tiny sponges). Plus, the green clover marshmallows, which are part of a cornucopia of shapes that include hourglasses, horseshoes and hearts, turn the milk a pleasant green hue (or muddy green, if you’re eating the chocolate version of the product).

Finally, there’s Lucky the Leprechaun himself. Created the same year as his cereal, Lucky has been the face of this product (with a year off here and there) since its inception. Sure, Lucky isn’t the true face of St. Patrick’s Day, but he can certainly be the starting point for a discussion of Ireland with your kids that may include the lore of the leprechauns and the stories about their treasures hidden at the end of rainbows. This can turn into a conversation about the country itself. Eventually, if you get far enough without the kids going into hyper-ADD after eating a few bowls of cereal, you can tell them to avoid, at all costs, the Leprechaun horror film series that initially starred Jennifer Aniston.

I’ve heard from so many people that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. If that’s so, then can’t any food be part of that day as well? I certainly think Lucky Charms should be part of the celebration and I hope you do as well. Oh, for the older folk … if you want to make Lucky Charms a true St. Patrick’s Day meal, replace the  milk with a little Guinness. I’m sure it will do wonders for the taste!

I speak of the McRib. Six inches of boneless pork patty, smothered in barbecue sauce, onions and pickles all covered by a soft sesame seed roll. Created in the early ’80s and appearing on and off McDonald’s menus since then, the sandwich has attained a cult following that sometimes rivals that of Deadheads or people who think Rush Limbaugh is the true leader of the Republican party.

Executives at the Golden Arches have noticed this fascination with the McRib and marketed the hell out of it by developing “Save the McRib” campaigns and holding “Farewell Tours” of the product. With the last tour taking place at the end of 2008, it seems like the McRib is gone for good. Or is it? Apparently, this little sandwich has more lives than According to Jim and keeps popping up in certain McDonald’s locations across the country and around the globe (it’s a staple of the restaurant’s menus in Germany).

Unfortunately, these appearances are not advertised nationally, which leaves many of you in a bind. So, how does one find a nearby location of Mickey D’s to sample the aromatic pork pattiness of a McRib? The Internet, of course! Thanks to barbecue-obsessed people like yourself there are a number of sites out there that help you find the closest location to devour a sandwich.

The best one is the McRib Locator, which works two ways. If you’re hankering for a sandwich you can set a date range to display the most recent sightings. Or, if you have just enjoyed a McRib you can enter information about the location where you dined (after you lick the sauce off your fingers)  so others can partake in the blissfulness.

To see how accurate this was I performed a search for McRib sightings from the beginning of February until today. Around the East Coast Megaopolis there were very few sightings of the McRib, with only one confirmation in the Coatesville, Pennsylvania area. The largest confirmed concentration of the sandwich was in Arizona where it seems to have been put back on the menu as recently as this past weekend. Sadly, if you live in the Plains states you’re S.O.L when it comes to McRib sightings.

Look, you love your McRib, you need your McRib and you have access to the Internet. Find out the nearest McDonald’s location, rev up your VW van, and road trip it out for a delicious piece of heaven. Make sure you tell your friends about it so they can either come along or place a takeout order. If not, well, you may be strung up by your McRibs if they find barbecue sauce stains on your t-shirt.

Well, I’ve got some awesome news for you! No longer will you have to worry about non-portable root beer floats when you’ve got The Fizz. Simply cram The Fizz with ice cream, screw the top to your favorite bottle of root beer, and you’re set to go. Squeeze the bottle to fill the cup with yummy root beer floaty calorieness and drink away. No need for thick glass mugs or silly spoons — just toss it back.

What’s more, The Fizz and the bottle will fit right into your bike’s bottle cage or the convenient bottle rest at the treadmill. Take it to your next basketball pick-up game — the guys will be green with envy. Hand them out to marathon runners. Take one for your morning commute to work! Don’t be left without your root beer floats again.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO1EPgjX-qc