The Fox television network unveiled its 2014 fall schedule and gave us a peek into what 2015 has in store as well. Fox had previously announced its new series acquisitions — Gotham, Red Band Society, Mulaney, Gracepoint, Utopia, Backstrom, Empire, Hieroglyph, Wayward Pines, Bordertown, The Last Man on Earth, Weird Loners — but many of them won’t be seen until 2015.

With the absence of The X Factor, and American Idol not returning until 2015 (with a shorter schedule than usual at about 37 hours instead of 50), that has freed up some time to debut some new shows in the fall. One glaring omission from the schedule is Glee, which has also been benched until 2015 and its 22-episode order may be trimmed to as little as 13. The plan is to run the final season without any breaks and to wrap up the story the best way possible. Another big change for the network is the break-up of Sunday’s Animation Domination block with only Bob’s Burgers, The Simpsons and Family Guy still on the schedule (American Dad moves to TBS, The Cleveland Show is cancelled). One of this season’s bright spots, Brooklyn Nine-Nine will occupy the spot after The Simpson and newcomer Mulaney, starring John Mulaney and Martin Short, moves into the post Family Guy time slot.

The show everyone seems most excited about, Gotham, will make its debut in the Monday slot leading in to last season’s hit Sleepy Hollow. Fox is so high on both shows that Gotham was given an initial 16-episode order and Sleepy Hollow, which was originally planned to get a second 13-episode season, is going to get an additional 2 – 5 episodes. Fox believes Gotham should outshine and out-perform ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. simply for the fact that the Batman prequel will include famous fiends like The Riddler, The Penguin and Catwoman … at least the people they were before they become the famous Bat-villains. If nothing else, Gotham is certainly the most talked about new show of the coming season.

Besides Gotham, Fox has a couple of prestigious dramas on the boards with Red Band Society and Gracepoint. Red Band Society is based on a Spanish TV series and takes place in a hospital where a group of teens meet in the pediatrics ward. The comedic drama stars Oscar winner Octavia Spencer and Dave Annable, and is executive produced by Steven Spielberg. Gracepoint is the US adaptation of the hit British crime drama Broadchurch. Former Doctor Who David Tennant reprises his role from the original series.

Looking ahead to 2015, a truncated American Idol will return (no word yet on the judges), and the network hopes that the show will remain on the air for many years to come (rumors were swirling that the original trio of judges would return for the final season, whenever that may be), and Fox is planning three big special events for 2015 starting with a New Year’s Eve event hosted by Pitbull, a special to commemorate Evel Knievel’s attempted jump over Snake River Canyon, and a three-hour live musical presentation of Grease.

Fox will also be filling in the time vacated by The X Factor with a new reality series called Utopia. In this new show, a group of people are sent to an undeveloped location for a year and will be forced to form a society of some sort. With elements of Survivor and Big Brother, viewers will be able to follow the action on the air and online, and those who do not make themselves indispensable to the group are sent home. The twist is that they are replaced by new castaways, giving the show an eerily similar feeling to a former Fox reality program that was supposed to have no end, Forever Eden … which lasted all of seven episodes (18 remain unaired). Will Utopia be a bright spot on the Fox schedule?

As of now, the 2014 schedule is set with many of the big guns set for 2015 including Backstrom, from Bones creator Hart Hanson, Lee Daniels’ Empire, starring Terrence Howard, the ancient Egypt action-adventure series Hieroglyph, from Pacific Rim writer Travis Beacham, limited run series Wayward Pines from M. Night Shyamalan, and comedies Bordertown (working title),  The Last Man on Earth (with Will Forte), and Weird Loners starring Becki Newton. Here’s what to expect in the fall:

Monday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Gotham
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Sleepy Hollow

Tuesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Utopia
9:00-9:30 p.m. — New Girl
9:30-10:00 p.m. — The Mindy Project

Wednesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Hell’s Kitchen
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Red Band Society

Thursday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Bones
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Gracepoint

Friday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — MasterChef Junior
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Utopia

Saturday
7:00-10:30 p.m. — Fox Sports Saturday

Sunday
7:00-7:30 p.m. — NFL Game
7:30-8:00 p.m. — Bob’s Burgers
8:00-8:30 p.m. — The Simpsons
8:30-9:00 p.m. — Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9:00-9:30 p.m. — Family Guy
9:30-10:00 p.m. — Mulaney

With the new cast of Dancing With the Stars announced, and the season premiere only hours away, it’s time for Kim and I to play catch up and dish on the stars, non-stars, and twists and turns coming this season.

CHUCK: The biggest issues we need to address first are the big shakeup in the personnel department. First we heard the Harold Wheeler Orchestra got the boot because they were going to use all pre-recorded, original music this time out … and then they went and hired a new band fronted by a former American Idol band leader. I know a lot of people out there hated the show’s music – and not necessarily the music, but the singers who often butchered the songs – but I thought Wheeler and his musicians and singers did an admirable job under tough circumstances. It’s hard to cut down and arrange a 3-plus minute song to a minute and a half, sometimes completely re-orchestrating the music to fit the style of the dance. I’m not sure how a stripped down band is going to work. I like the use of original music, but a live orchestra just adds to the ambiance. What do you think?

KIM: I never really had much of a problem with the music, to be honest. I was shocked to hear of this shakeup. I think original music would be a good format, but can they always get the rights to do that? The show wouldn’t be the same without the live music format. I hope they get this figured out!

CHUCK: And the second biggest elephant no longer in the room is the never delightful Brooke Burke-Charvet. I don’t know why they even bother giving Tom Bergeron a co-host. Bergeron really carried the show last season when they went from two nights to one which gave him more time to interact with the stars and pros as they waited for their judging and scores. It was much better than Brooke blathering on, sometimes seeming like she wasn’t even listening. My favorite Brooke moment was when they had her on the giant video screen above the stage and Tom was throwing to her and he said, “Brook, you’re enormous,” and her reply was, “Thanks Tom.” She was even more useless than Samantha Harris, and often turned an interview around to her experience on the show. Erin Andrews at least has reporting skills and DWTS experience, but I hope she doesn’t just ask more mindless questions.

KIM: I was never a big Brooke fan either. Let’s face it: she was mostly eye candy. I loved Erin when she was a contestant, so I’m hopeful about this change. She had a bubbly enthusiasm about her but she didn’t ever go overboard with it from what I remember. Thank goodness they didn’t get rid of Tom — he cracks me up every week! The show would definitely not be the same without Tom.

CHUCK: Tom is like Seacrest on Idol. No matter how many changes they make (and some think DWTS needs new judges too), Tom Bergeron should always be there! And then there’s the twist – later in the season, viewers will be able to vote on “The Switch Up,” which will rip apart the dance teams and force a celeb to dance with a new partner. I’m not sold on this idea at all. We watch the show to see the relationship develop between the star and their pro, and now just as they’re getting into a groove, they’re going to be torn apart?! It may inject drama into a show that has seen its ratings fall over the last few seasons, but it could also do some major damage as well.

KIM: Whaaat? I didn’t hear about this change! I very much dislike this idea! How can you root for any pairing with the knowledge that their partnership can change? Let’s hope they see the folly of this and don’t make it something they do every season because honestly that sounds like a turn-off to me. I have my favorite dance pros and my favorite celebrities and I usually stay pretty loyal to whomever I’m throwing my votes to each season.

CHUCK: Agreed. And then we come to the stars. Oh, they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I know “big” names won’t do the show because they see it as a step down into obscurity, but I think it’s been proven over time that being on the show has its benefits as far as putting someone’s star on the ascent rather than descent. So this year, we have very little in the way of “stars” – and my definition of a star is someone from stage or screen. Athletes are athletes, they can be famous and popular, but for me they don’t fall into the definition of a “star.”

And this season is rife with athletes of whom I have absolutely no investment at the moment. I don’t even know who most of them are! So good luck Sean Avery, Meryl Davis, Amy Purdy and Charlie White, whoever you are. At least I do know Diana Nyad, but what, she wasn’t old enough to pair with Tristan so he’s off the show?!

KIM: If I’m being honest, Charlie White is the only athlete this season I’ve ever heard of, and I don’t even know much about him. But then again, I don’t watch very many sports, and I seldom know who very many of the athletes are. But the athletes usually win me over because they end up being pretty good dancers! And I’m saddened to hear Tristan won’t be on there this season. We can count on Maks to add some snarky entertainment though.

CHUCK: Yes, Maks is back, so that’s a plus. Moving on to people I do know. First, Drew Carey. I used to love his sitcom, but I really don’t like him on The Price Is Right. He never really seems invested in the contestants like Bob Barker was. He seemed more warm and human when he was heavier, but now he just comes off as cold and distant. He’s really going to have to work it to win me over.

KIM: I still love Drew Carey! I’m excited to see him lighter on his feet and ready to sweep his dance partner off hers. I hope he wears a bow tie every single week because that might be enough to win my votes.

CHUCK: Nene Leakes was someone I only knew of from one of those Real Housewives shows. Then I was appalled when I heard she was going to be on Glee, but she surprised me with her performance regardless of how one-note it was written. Then I adored her on The New Normal, and I’ve been a fan ever since (although I still refuse to watch a Real Housewives show). I hope she can dance, because right now I think she’s the only person I’m really rooting for!

KIM: I don’t even know who this person is, sorry Chuck. I don’t watch any of those shows you just mentioned. This sounds like someone I might be annoyed watching though, similar to Snooki. I just don’t have much respect or patience for “reality TV stars.”

CHUCK: But Nene has segued into acting pretty well, so I give her props for that. I have no idea who James Maslow is. Or Cody Simpson for that matter. One is from Nickelodeon and the other is from The Disney Channel. I guess a certain Canadian bad boy wasn’t available or willing to go on the show, but if you’re reading this Justin, Dancing With the Stars is the perfect career rehabilitation you could use right about now.

KIM: I have no clue on either of these kids either. I never know the Disney celebrity, but I’m usually won over because they pick pretty talented kids.

CHUCK: I only vaguely know Candace Cameron Bure. She was on some sitcom I never watched. I do, however, know Danica McKellar and I loved her as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. I wonder if her appearance is tied in to the long-awaited release of that show on DVD? I hope she does well. She’s a child star who grew up without getting into any tabloid-style trouble, so I’ll put her up on my list with Nene as to who I’d like to see succeed.

KIM: ’80s aficionado that I am, these are the two celebrities I am most excited to see this season! I loved Full House and The Wonder Years growing up and out of all the celebs, I have seen the most pictures of Candace rehearsing with Mark (maybe that’s because I follow both on social media). I have to say Candace and Mark look absolutely adorable together! And for the record, Candace also had a pretty squeaky clean record, Chuck. I hope her fellow Full House co-stars come to root for her because that would make my day. Actually, if Kevin Arnold came to root for Winnie Cooper, that would also make my day! I adore Fred Savage.

CHUCK: Maybe Danica can talk Fred into doing it next season! Of course, the geek crowd should tune in for Billy Dee Williams. I saw him recently as a judge on an episode of King of the Nerds, so I wonder if his sudden resurgence of TV work is tied in to that upcoming film sequel to a popular franchise in which he played a memorable role? Or maybe he’s here to show he’s still got it and JJ Abrams should take note (especially if some of the original stars are coming back). He may be able to pilot a spaceship, but I’m not sure if he’s going to have the dancing skills to get him very far. And any bets on if his first dance will be to the Stars Wars theme? And I think it’s time to start a Facebook page petitioning them to cast George Takei next season!

KIM: Stay classy, Cloud City! The nerd in me is excited to see Billy Dee, but I have a feeling you’re right Chuck. I can’t picture him being very graceful. And I would 100% sign a petition to cast George Takei — he would be a blast to watch! I doubt that will ever happen though.

CHUCK: If a Facebook page can get Betty White a gig on SNL, then I think we can get George on DWTS. I bet he’d jump at the chance! Oh My! Well, I think it’s safe to say that while we have a couple of interesting celebs on the show this season, the dearth of “stars” and the influx of athletes is going to drive the show over to ESPN soon. Perhaps it’s time to think about just doing the show once a year so the pool of potential participants isn’t drained completely. Let us know who you’re rooting for, and we’ll check back in occasionally to rank our favorites!

I want to talk about one character in particular featured on last Sunday’s The Walking Dead. Someone I don’t like in the least:

Bob Stookey.

I don’t like Bob. There’s something about him, maybe it’s something that hasn’t been revealed yet. I can’t put my finger on it; it’s just a gut feeling. Maybe it’s a character flaw or a quirk or kink. But it’s definitely something intuitively unsettling that continues to linger.

I haven’t liked Bob from the beginning. In the season 4 opener, I didn’t like his fishing for some project to keep him occupied at the prison, practically begging for meaningfulness in order to earn his keep. The fact he’s a closet alcoholic is problematic. As it is, his alcoholism got him in trouble in that Big Box store … remember? (Well … sort of. It almost got him toasted. And not in the way he would have liked. Not to mention his back story revelation during the last episode where we caught him quaffing freakin’ Nyquil — or its equivalent — in order to get high!) Since his introduction on the show he’s seemed not only out of sorts (that’s the lack of alcohol playing tricks with him) but a bit “off,” too.

I’ve read the comic and I know what happened with and to the character therein. The differences in the comic book character and the show character are vast. To wit, Bob wasn’t even around at this point in the comic — he died. There was nothing redeeming about him in the comic. He was story filler, nothing more. That was the comic, not the television series.

But in this last episode (the aptly titled “Alone”) the writers decided to infuse him with intelligence and sympathy and understanding and charm so you gravitated to him like a moth to flame. Post fog walker attack on Bob and Maggie and Sasha, Bob smiled at Sasha during one point and joked with her about getting bit by a walker: “It’s okay … he got me right on the bandage.” And then? He smiled at her, big as the sky, after she hugged him. And I’ll admit: I caught myself (possibly) beginning to sympathize and finally care (Really?) about Bob.

This writers’ tactic (I’m referring to it as “Bobification”) continued throughout the better part of the hour. Each time he engaged Sasha. In his glimmers of decency and understanding. In his urging Sasha to continue on after Maggie left them. And, finally, when he was reunited with the two women once again on the railroad tracks at the end of the episode.

This realization of empathy hit me at the conclusion of Sunday’s broadcast. But that’s not where it started.

It started right from the get go, as soon as the show began. It was the wordlessness of the several scenes and situations we found Bob in. That’s where it creeped into my mind. And it did so unknowingly. I was too engaged in the episode. Unwitting compassion sneakily began intruding within me. It left a little mark on my mind and caused me to take notice and start to emote. But it wasn’t until the end of the program I figured it out.

At the end, that’s where the “ah HA!” moment flicked on the imaginary light bulb above my head. My Achilles’ heel, one of my huge weaknesses! It was the music … that music!

Everyone knows I’m a sucker for a good tune. And especially so with evocative placement in a program. That intro with Bob aimlessly and shiftlessly shuffling from scene to scene — often without purpose … lost … dazed and confused — it pulled you in. It pulled me in. The tune playing was haunting, it beckoned you to come on in and see what this forlorn man might be all about, why his eyes looked so lost inside themselves. The music wafted around you and gently tugged, urging you to find out why.

I slammed that door shut as soon as I realized this: No song, I don’t care what it is, is going to make me like or appreciate Bob Stookey. I’m not that gullible …

Days later, I heard the song again out of nowhere. I instantly recognized it as the tune which opened and closed “Alone” Sunday night. But this time there was something more to it, a touch of familiarity … and not just from the fact it was featured prominently in The Walking Dead.

I researched it quickly … and was surprised by my findings: The song was one written specifically with The Walking Dead in mind. And by none other than season 9 American Idol winner Lee DeWyze. And dammit if it wasn’t one crackerjack of a tune. More so, one which effectively dramatized Bob Stookey’s presence and back story in “Alone.”

Compelling, powerful, impressive stuff.

And, while my dislike and above-voiced proclivities toward the character remain (despite the writers’ and DeWyze’ best efforts) I have to give The Walking Dead a tip of my hat for the attempt to get me on board Bob Stookey’s train.

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Hokay … so maybe it’s not exactly a “love/hate” relationship I have with Harry Connick, Jr.

To be more precise, it’s more an “annoy/enjoy” sort of thing. Because there are plenty of instances when the guy is dead on when he critiques some of the American Idol contestants.

And then, moving around to various performers, he might do a complete about-face — sometimes he gets too technical to the point a review can go over a contestant’s head. Other times he’s exactingly critical and it appears he out-and-out hates a performance. Still other times, he regresses into the usual judges’ go-to M.O. of kowtowing … because there isn’t anything really to say about what was just played out by an Idol on the stage.

And here’s the thing: I get all three modes of feedback. But in the first two instances:

When He’s Too Technical: Harry should be talking to them in specifics when a glazed look comes over a performer’s face. They’re not “getting” it. The information he’s imparting just isn’t comprehended. You know that saying “You can’t fix dumb?” This isn’t that but in the same vein you can’t hand somebody something meant to assist them if they have no point of reference. Right? Right. Remember: Many of these kids are kids, they’re not seasoned. (Case in point: Alex Preston will understand the technical stuff out of the sheer abundance and familiarity he has with the bevy of instruments he manages. MK Nobilette probably will not.)

When He’s Pointedly Critical: Nothing wrong with being pointed with regard to what an Idol-wannabee puts out an act. But such assessment would be better served if, again, it was given a point of reference. Tell him/her how to infuse that criticism into future performances in a manner which might benefit him/her positively. Explain it in such a way it doesn’t just hang there in the air with no purpose other than to appear as a put down. As an Idol observers, don’t you believe a contestant would better receive such pointed critique and might better adapt with such instruction? I do.

Here’s another thing: Want to know what I really hate about the judges this season? They’re wimping out when it comes to hitting the contestants where it hurts. Crappy performances result in a judgments which oft-times ring out with some innocuous comment about how good they look that evening. Or one of those “You know what I really like about you?” lead-ins resulting in follow-up blather. Or some other throw-away quip on how they “like the energy of a performance.” (Don’t misunderstand me: This is something that’s been going on for a long, long time, way before the current line up of Urban, JLo and HCJ graced your flat screens.)

Where’s the harm in socking it to them? Tell’em their performance was as bad as a wrong turn away from an appointed destination. Then follow it up with an explanation on why that can’t or shouldn’t happen in future outings. That would be refreshing … and more honest than “those shoes are so cute with that outfit!”

The truth hurts sometimes. But, as I’m apt to repeat: “You learn from your mistakes not from your successes.” Right? Right. Additionally for kids who simply don’t know any better, there has to be definitive direction, a solid game plan put in place for them to shoot for. Judge them that way.

Don’t get me wrong: I love HCJ as a performer and (a lot of times) as a judge on American Idol. But the corny comments he makes either at the expense of or in camaraderie with Keith Urban can get tedious … and it has time and again. But, overall, he’s (mostly) been a breath of fresh air on the show.

One last thing a lot of you may have noticed that I’d like to call out here (my “a little bit of jaw drop” moment during last Thursday’s telecast): Remember Harry calling out about what he would do if he were a mentor on the show?

“I was not hired as a mentor. I am envious of Randy (Jackson). If I were a mentor … guys? I would be at the hotel ’til 5:00 o’clock in the morning working with you. I would give everything to that …”

How did you read that comment as HCJ talked to all the contestants at the start of the elimination show? Because I read it as a direct slap to the puss of Randy Jackson. Granted … Jackson is pointless as a mentor. The kids might look up to him, but there was immensely more direction given by his predecessor Jimmy Iovine in the couple of years he held the mentor position. So the mentoring “doled out” by Jackson isn’t worth much. And Harry called Randy out on that fact. That was a kick and a half.

Additionally, a few other statements included:

“I think you’re all incredibly talented … I think this is the best group of talent since the first season (and) I’ve watched every year …”

I call horse puckey. Did he really dismiss Idol seasons 2 through 12 and their groups of talent? It could be summed up that way. I took it as exactly that, though I know he didn’t precisely intend it as such.

The female contingent this season? There’s not a single girl who is tripping my trigger. With the exception of Sam Woolf (who needs to be dismissed soon), there is no female contestant who can stand toe to toe with any of the males. (Several girls can out perform him without problem.) But this season is an all guy shindig. My point? It’s a year where I’m completely at odds with HCJ’s statement above, that “this is the best group of talent since the first season.” No … it is not. It’s not the best group since Season One, not as a whole.

And not by a long shot. Want proof? Two elimination shows thus far without a single guy being included in either of those airings’ Bottom Three contestants. Enough said.

Yeah … I’m glad Harry is in the mix. But he annoys me week in and week out more than I enjoy him so far …

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(Not So Much Of A) News Flash: Whether the American Idol faithful want to hear it or not (and many do not) the show, right now, IS about the judges.

Let’s face facts: After the debacles aplenty the powerhouse duo Nicki Minaj/Mariah Carey foisted on us last season, there’s a lot of damage control that needs to be attended to by the current panel.

(Wait … wait … wait … did I really just toss a “powerhouse” reference in there with regard to Mariah Carey?!? I’m sorry. She might be a powerhouse on the music scene, but she was anything but that during her Idol stint. What I meant to state was that she rode the coattail wave of lunacy Minaj forged. There. All better.)

You know the tales of Minaj and Carey, the complaints up the wazoo about them. Their antics turned viewers off. They took away from the focus of the show which should always be on the contestants. Season 12 was often a circus freakshow. And that’s precisely why the season 13 trio of officiants are being scrutinized so closely.

Or, rather, I should state that’s why all eyes are on Harry Connick, Jr. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. To many the dude is easy on the eyes (so I’ve been told), has an engaging personality and is mixing things up with not only some pretty pointed critiquing but with (sometimes) razor-sharp wit and sarcasm. So, great … he’s “all that” right now.

As it was, the person I was watching Idol with couldn’t stop gushing over how much the man was loved, how refreshing he was, how he makes Idol “watchable” again. I’m not in this person’s camp in the least — I’ve been familiar with Connick’s career, both musically and on screen, since the beginning. I own all his albums and have enjoyed (and continue to enjoy) listening to his body of work. 20 is the first album I purchased of his (and it continues to be one of my favorites) and I was surprised by his take in the film Copycat with Sigourney Weaver. (He was out and out chilling as Daryll Lee Cullum.) Additionally, I’ve seen him in concert and he puts on a damned fine show.

But … he’s not the savior the show needs. He’s just a piece of the puzzle in the grand scheme of things. Granted, his presence fills a nice chunk of that puzzle but, given the steady decline of Idol viewership over the years, there are quite a number of things beside the judging panel in need of a makeover.

So let’s enjoy Connick for the contributions he’s making currently. For me, I already have my cynicism gage at half staff when it comes to hearing him jabber and joke … and we’ve only just passed the second episode of the season.

But that’s okay. While he may be “all that” to some folks, he isn’t to me. It’s not that I exhibit any ADD tendencies when it comes seeing or hearing him on the show, but I’d rather he be on a short leash when it comes to what I’ve seen thus far. I’m well aware, however, the shortening of that leash may be a long time in coming …

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In the middle of dinner the other night the subject of television came up. One of my dinnermates commented: “I was subject to a program called Extreme Cheapskates or some such the other day. You wouldn’t believe the things the people on that show do to save a penny …”

Another stated: “Award season is coming quickly, you know …”

“… as are the Olympics …” said a third.

“Hey … isn’t American Idol starting soon?” one of them asked.

“Yup, yup. Next week as a matter’n fact …” I chimed in.

Someone coughed and spoke in turn: “There are too many damned song and dance shows on the boob tube. Especially those singing competitions. I can’t keep track of them and really don’t care to. I don’t know why in the world you watch Idol, Michael …”

“Here … I’ll show you why.” I wiped my mouth, sat back and pointed a finger at the person sitting directly across from me: “I happen to know you watch Idol. That being said, I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts you can name five American Idol winners without even thinking about it. And you …” I shot my finger 30 degrees to my left to my friend who questioned my viewership of the show “… I’d be willing to bet you can do same … and you don’t even watch Idol …”

The first person shot out the names Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Scott McCreary, Phillip Phillips and Clay Aiken out her mouth in rapid-fire succession without even blinking.

“Close enough,” I said approvingly. “Clay didn’t win, he was a runner-up … but he made a career for himself anywho …”

I looked to my left.

“Well … there’s that big dude on America’s Biggest Weight Loser thing … Bubba Smith? No, wait … Ruben Stewart …”

“Studdard,” I corrected.

“… and the Soul Patrol guy … Taylor Swift …”

“Taylor Hicks,” I corrected again.

” … hmmmmm … Oh, that Fantasialand chick who starred on Broadway …”

“Yes … Fantasia. Congratulations, folks. You’ve just made me a happy camper. Now … to further prove my point, name any winner on any other singing competition such as The X Factor or The Voice …”

Dead. Silence. For an entire minute.

“And there you go. That, right there, is one of the many reasons I watch American Idol …”

Yes folks, everyone’s favorite whipping boy (… I mean … “reality singing competition”) American Idol is coming round for its “lucky” 13th season, complete with a new dynamic (well … kinda) a revamped line up behind the judge’s table (again, kinda), a new mentor (not so much) and enough drama (in other words: same old same old) to keep things lively right into the May sweeps.

Definitive format changes are in the cards (less audition ear strain and clipped inanity, for examples) courtesy of the all-producers of Idol (one of which, David Hill, who has run Fox’s sports wing for a couple generations) as are some tightening of the sails on how the auditions and more come across to the viewing public. All this as a direct result of declining ratings over the years … not to mention the circus atmosphere Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey contributed last year which often overshadowed the contestants.

In case you haven’t heard, the judges for this season are basically the same … but they’re not. Keith Urban — well received from last year’s stint — returns. Jennifer Lopez makes an encore appearance after taking last year off … and thank heaven she’s back instead of flamboyant, clownish Minaj or the listless, life-draining Carey. (I can’t say I’m doing back flips over JLo’s return, but she beats those other two by miles when it comes to critiquing. And I’ve learned to tolerate her. Mostly. As long as she curbs her use of “amazing” …) And new judge Harry Connick, Jr. (with his faithful following and respectable career) makes his debut as an Idol judge for the first time. (Many of us have been commenting for years he should join the ranks of the judging staff. And this year? It’s become a reality.) And former judge and Idol stalwart Randy Jackson? He’s now mentor to the hopefuls, replacing Jimmy Iovine. (I think everyone is going to miss Jimmy …) Lastly, my little buddy Ryan Seacrest (who I fondly refer to as “Seacrust”) will return as host (and sometimes straight man). I can always (yes … I used “always”) rely on Dave Clark’s protege to bring some unexpected monkey business to the show as he’s done in past seasons … sometimes on purpose, sometimes inadvertently.

But, if you think Idol has lost its momentum, you’ve obviously not been keeping score with the show of late. Just last year we had what was far and away one of the best Idol auditions ever. Additionally, I thought Phillip Phillip’s audition was intriguing. (It was. Really.) And the American Idol faithful — myself included — are more than curious how the producers’ cleaned up ship and various changes will maneuver through the rough waters of audition hopefuldom. A lot to look forward to, don’t you think?

Meanwhile, I have a question for you before we get to the the two-night premiere this week: Have you come up with even one name of any winner from The Voice or The X Factor?

No … I didn’t think so …

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I don’t know what was more awkward on last night’s Emmy Awards: The parade of CBS television actors pimping their own shows before doling out awards or Shemar “Well it’s me again” Moore’s delivery of his other catchphrase, “Only CBS.” Let’s get Shemar out of the way first.  He was drunk, right? Or he sustained a concussion minutes before the telecast launched and they threw him out there anyway. He acted like C3PO without the clever dialogue. I kept flashing back to the scene in Talladega Nights when Will Ferrell didn’t know what to do with his hands.

This CBS brings me to the other CBS problem with the CBS night where all CBS presenters felt compelled CBS to mention the network CBS and their television program CBS as much as possible CBS. Ummm, CBS … you won. You’re the most popular network. I don’t particularly like most of your lowest common denominator sitcoms or NCISs or CSIs, but I realize that apparently a lot of other people do, so congratulations. You’re like McDonald’s, and as Jerry Seinfeld said in one of his bits, just put up a sign saying “we’re doing very well” instead of all the constant promotion. It was awkward. When an overly tan Will Arnett came out with his new TV mom, Margo Martindale (who is great in The Americans, and I hope she still has time to guest on that show), and did their bit where she guilted him into pimping their new show, he said during the bit that it wasn’t appropriate. And it really isn’t appropriate.

But in this day and age, where people are streaming shows and fast forwarding through commercials on their DVRs, networks have to do more to get their advertising revenue. And that has spilled over into program promotion. Gone are the days of the “And now a word from our sponsors…” advertisements. They have been replaced with “product integration.” Chuck loves Subway and their “$5 foot longs.” New Girl is not only “adorkable” but it also teaches us how to use the foot-activated liftgate on the Ford Escape. Ray Donovan’s cell phone gets more screen time than Bunchy. It’s distracting. I expect product integration on shows like American Idol or Project Runway because that’s the only way to force it down the viewer’s throats, but blatantly working it into plot lines on scripted comedies and dramas makes it hard to suspend my disbelief. This was the technique used by CBS during the Emmys. Want to know if Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston gets robbed? Well, first let’s hear about the new comedy Mom starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney. Only CBS.

Maybe this is common now for these types of live broadcasts; I really only tuned in to see Neil Patrick Harris work his magic. But I find it annoying that in this renaissance of television programming when one hour dramas are far richer in depth and character than 99% of the films in the theaters, that blatant product/program integration is so heavy handedly shoved in our faces. Although, considering the in your face, no-thinking required comedy that is the paradigm that most of CBS’s sitcoms employ, I guess I should have expected it.

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Dance was absent from movie screens this summer when there was no new Step Up film to dazzle our senses. But fall brings a new dance movie, and a potential new series, with Battle of the Year, the story of a worldwide B-Boy dance competition that the Americans have yet to crack.

In Battle of the Year, hip hop mogul and former B-Boy Dante Graham (Laz Alonso) needs a new trainer for his crew. He enlists the aid of an old friend, and also former B-Boy, Jason Blake (Josh Holloway). Blake has been down on his luck since his wife and son died in a tragic car accident, but Dante knows that Blake’s experience coaching basketball is just what his crew needs to get them in shape for the competition.

But Blake sees nothing in Dante’s crew so he puts one together with the help of one of Dante’s employees Franklyn (Josh Peck) … except his new crew doesn’t understand the concept of “there’s no I in team” and things don’t go well at first, from bad feelings over a girl (who isn’t in either guy’s life anymore) to a case of homophobia. Blake has to wage his own battles with the crew to get them to form a team.

The Step Up series has certainly been uneven, but the dancing has always been spectacular (as has the 3D in the last two movies). Battle of the Year wants to be better than the worst of the Step Up movies, but it mostly comes off as a TV movie of the week. The B-Boys, at least the ones who are featured, are all stereotypes: the rivals, the one with the secret family, the gay one, the Jewish one, the Korean one … yes, this is a rainbow coalition of characters! But all of the guys do what they can with what they’ve been given to work with. They play the rivals perfectly, and you really do believe they’ve all grown to accept and trust each other by the end.

The two Joshes, Holloway and Peck, also give admirable performances. Holloway makes Blake’s sadness feel real, and even as you’re sitting there thinking “I can’t believe Sawyer is coaching a group of dancers,” you really do believe that he knows what he’s talking about. Peck’s Franklyn is Blake’s voice of reason when things go wrong, his idolizer as he sees what Blake is capable of doing, and his protector when Dante isn’t happy with the way Blake is training his guys. The two work well off of each other.

I know the big draw for many will be the appearance of Chris Brown as Rooster, the star dancer, and I will say that he does give a very natural performance that never seems like acting. But it just made my skin crawl to hear half the women in the audience squeal with delight the first time he comes on screen. That’s just all kinds of wrong.

Of course, the highlight of the movie is the dancing … but there isn’t a much as there could be. There are a lot of small moments here and there as the crew, dubbed The Dream Team, practice their moves, but we never get to see any full blown routines until they get to the Battle of the Year (which, by the way, is a real competition). Once the dancing starts, you can’t take your eyes off the screen, marveling at the sometimes inhuman moves these guys can make, not only the Dream Team, but some of the others from around the world as well. The 3D is also used very well at this point as hands and feet come flying off the screen and in your face.

The only major issue I have with the film is all the Sony product placement. Yes, the film was produced by Sony’s Screen Gems division but the way the crew slobbers over all of their Sony-branded goodies in their gift bags was just a bit much (the Braun shaver is also heavily featured). Other than that, I actually enjoyed the movie based on the performances of Holloway and Peck, and for the spectacular dancing and use of 3D. It may not be the best dance movie ever made, but it’s not the worst either. The clichés that pile up in the first half of the film are easily forgotten by the end … and that’s a good thing because if things go well, you can be sure there will be a follow-up.

If you’re looking for some new and interesting movies to bring home this week, we have you covered. The August 27 release features Baz Luhrmann’s take on the American classic The Great Gatsby. The film did surprisingly well at the box office, although critical reaction was mixed even here at CliqueClack. I felt the film — especially in 3D — was a work of art, but our own Jeremy Fogelman and Dan Meier had some different feelings. Also out this week is Pain & Gain starring Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg and Anthony Mackie, which was reviewed here by Cisco Davis, Jr. In addition to these two releases, the heist thriller Now You See Me is available as a Digital Download prior to its DVD and Blu-ray release.

Classic horror movie fans will get a kick out of Scream Factory’s new retro releases, Dark Angel (I Come in Peace), and Q: The Winged Serpent, while classic movie buffs will enjoy the Criterion Collection’s release of the comedy To Be or Not To Be, starring Jack Benny. And if you want to get a jump on your video orders, we have information about the upcoming Man of Steel, After Earth, Shrek the Musical and JFK video releases. To see all of this week’s home video releases, have a look at our handy shopper’s guide and click on a link to make a purchase or to get more information. Every purchase you make through a link helps support our efforts here at CliqueClack, and we thank you for your continued support.

I wasn’t expecting to discuss anything post-season where American Idol was concerned. But I have people watching my back here on CliqueClack. (Lord knows someone needs to monitor my activities … uhm … I mean … watch my back.) This particular rant post comes courtesy of my CC buddy Chuck Duncan. You can thank him for instigating what you’re reading. Please send your cards, letters and otherwise to: Chuck Wash, c/o CliqueClack.

Think about it a minute: There was a lot going on even before the start of Idol’s latest season got underway. (Judge in-fighting, format changes, talk of doing away with mentors.) So why would I think anything different post season finale? Of course the drama continues. And, for a change of pace, it doesn’t involve sniping cat fighting between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey. (Surprise!)

The Current Big News? Idol season 3 alum and success story Jennifer Hudson will be sitting behind the judges’ table next season. Additionally, the two other spots (there will only be three judges on the upcoming season, not four) are for season 1 winner (and success story in her own right) Kelly Clarkson and one of two past contestants, Adam Lambert or Clay Aiken.

My immediate reaction on hearing this? *ugh* … with an appropriate lower case “u” in the interjection.

I’ll admit: After all the hoopla of prestige/celebrity/”musically proficient” judges, ad nauseam, I understand going forward why Idol wants to get back to basics when it comes to those who critique the show’s contestants. And, honestly, the first folks who came to my mind past contestant-wise included Jennifer Hudson (Grammy Award-winner and more), Kelly Clarkson (multi award winner) along with the most lauded Idol contestant of them all Carrie Underwood who has more than a bevy of awards under her belt. Why them? Easy. They’re all success stories who came out of the tutelage of American Idol. Who better to put at those spots?

But are they really fit to sit in judgment? As successes — and at first glance — they certainly appear to be. They’ve made their industry bones and it would seem they’re qualified to hold the positions. But I’m not buying what Idol is selling, that they’re not only (possibly) the best folks for the job but will bring back some of the attractiveness and likability to the aging program.

Each of the names above came onto Idol dry and with relatively little musical history behind them. They were wide-eyed with hope. When their stints were over on the show, they either won the coveted prize or they got recruited, each one receiving representation, coaching and schooling in the industry. The rest is history: Music up the wazoo (recording, writing, concerts and more), film, television, celebrity, et cetera. And that leads right up to the The $10,000 Question: Does any of that really qualify them to assess incoming talent?

No. Here’s why:

Each of those Idol alumni have their own set of rules and standards and experiences to glean from musically. They have blinders on, focused to their unique viewpoints only. They do not have the benefit of a producer’s perspective — such as a Jimmy Iovine, for example — to pass on the type of experience that would look beyond their personal perspectives. That’s only natural. Overall, they will gravitate to what they know first-hand in critiquing contestants, possibly coaching or offering advice to individuals not on what would be best, but on what they see based on their past experiences as performers and where it’s led them.

Granted: At times Randy Jackson (annoying as his critiques were on occasion) offered some good advice and even peppered his commentary with blistering vitriol. Additionally, he made goofball boners and mistakes when it came to sharing his thoughts after a contestant’s performance … proving no one is going to be “on” all the time. But … I’m willing to lend tons more weight to the knowledge of someone like a Jackson — or an Iovine — than I would to either a Lambert or an Aiken whose ulterior views as a performer could come into play. That being said, I dug Harry Connick, Jr.’s take on how he thought a particular aspirant should approach a performance, but he clearly made judgment calls based on his point of view based on his experiences. And let’s not forget: Harry submitted to verbal blows with Jackson where some of the contenders were concerned when he appeared last season. Even he wasn’t immune to his personal experiences, relying on what his stage history said would work (and what wouldn’t) based his individual perspective … as a performer.

Yeah … I’m being hyper-critical. I can do that as someone who loves music, as someone who has watched Idol inside and out for the majority of its history (in good times and not-so-good times) and as someone who is more than comfortable pushing his opinion around. (Not to mention someone who correctly predicted the pecking order of the past season’s final seven contestants. *pow*)

As we see the fruits of this new Idol strategy unfolds on the small screen, will it be yet another train wreck in a history of past flubs? Or will it be a stroke of genius in finding a winning recipe to staunch the bleeding of the aging show’s ratings and popularity?

Stay tuned: January will be here before you know it. The proof will be in the pudding.

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