It’s only the second week for the current season of Dancing With the Stars, and the surprise host Tom Bergeron hinted at last week turned out not to be a pleasant one. Perhaps the surprise could have been that no one was going home after the first week, but noooooo! The surprise was the season’s first (and only?) double elimination. We hadn’t planned on doing a full post again this week, but something this major shook us all up so we had to discuss.

CHUCK: So, a double elimination?!?! Wow, way to shake everyone up before their second dance of the season. I thought it was a particularly cruel way to kick things off.

KIM: I almost spit my drink out when they said there was going to be a double elimination. I thought for sure they were going to say everyone was safe this week. And the Switch-Up is happening in two weeks? This is going to be a cruel season for sure.

CHUCK: Well at least they had the courtesy to break up the eliminations throughout the show instead of making everyone wait till the end. Drew & Cheryl got the news that they were safe right off the bat and then immediately had to dance. I don’t know how Drew even pulled that off, scoring a 21 for his Jive which was fun to watch but his kicks weren’t very sharp.

KIM: I think they should go back to the two-night format personally. It was better when everyone was relaxed and got to dance and ask for votes on night one, followed by the eliminations on night two. I didn’t mind all the “filler” material necessary to fill both shows. It seems like they keep running out of time and rattling everyone with this format. It sometimes makes it more painful to watch.

CHUCK: I also enjoyed the Results shows, because they were almost like old-time variety shows, minus the comedy skits. More dancing is not a bad thing, but at least the Macy’s Stars of Dance is coming back! Of course, the biggest shock of the night came when Tom announced that Billy Dee & Emma were safe! What?! The lowest judges scores and once again the fans keep someone around who really shouldn’t be there. This is really the one aspect of the show that I dislike. It’s a dance competition, Len even said the point was to do better and get better scores each week, but then the fans vote on someone just because they like them and someone who has potential to move forward and grow goes home.

KIM: I’m starting to agree with you on that, Chuck. Billy Dee looked so happy and relieved to still be there, but I really think (and hope) he’ll go home next week.

CHUCK: And, let’s face it, after Billy Dee’s, ahem, dance this week (which included two more female partners to distract everyone from his listlessness) he ended up with the same exact score as last week, 15, and in last place again. Please, for the love of all that’s decent, don’t keep voting for this man just because he’s Lando Calrissian!

KIM: These are not the dance droids you’re looking for. I’d rather see him exit before anyone else at this point. He seems like a really nice guy, but he just can’t compete at the same level as everyone else.

CHUCK: The next three couples to dance were Amy & Derek, Candace & Mark and Diana & Henry, but Diana & Henry were eliminated right then and there before anyone else danced. It was nice to see them get to do their last dance (and I do believe the viewers made the right choice with this one after seeing that dance), but you have to wonder if the shock of the elimination shook up the other two couples. I’m sure they were relieved, but you have to be rattled after seeing someone standing right next to you told they’re out of the competition.

KIM:  I felt bad for the way they told Diana & Henry they were going home – at least they gave them the option of dancing their dance they’d worked so hard on. If the others were rattled, I couldn’t tell by the way they danced. Candace & Mark’s dance gave me actual goosebumps. I was disappointed in their scores, but I’m not an expert on the technicalities. Amy and Derek were phenomenal as always. If there’s one couple I don’t want to see switched up, it’s definitely those two. I am so anti the Switch-Up, I don’t think I’m going to nominate anybody on Twitter.

CHUCK: I think the Switch-Up will be particularly bad for Amy because she has such specific needs. I’m definitely not participating in that voting. So the other safe couples for the week at this point are

• Danica and Val, whose steamy Samba earned tham a 24.
• Meryl & Maks, who earned a 25 for their energetic Swing Dance.
• Candace & Mark, who did a very un-romantic, too Contemporary Rumba and scored 21.
• Amy & Derek, who did an amazing swing dance that made Tom Bergeron nervous (after Amy kept saying her legs could fly off) and scored a 24 (and after all the glowing comments, should have gotten a 27).
• James & Peta, who scored a 25 mainly for his physique than his Salsa moves which were lacking.
• Charlie & Sharna, who did an amazing, powerful, sharp Tango, but only scored 25 because Len deducted probably two points for the break in the hold.

I have to say my favorite of this group for the men is Charlie. He nailed his Tango, got the emotion down with some help from Maks and even with the break in the hold, he should go very far in the competition. For the women, it’s a toss-up right now between Danica, Amy and Meryl. They’re all been stupendous both weeks and were within a point of each other this week. Who do you like from this group?

KIM: My heart still only beats for Charlie (haha). He is just so adorable in a curly-haired Hobbit kind of way and he is miles above the other male competitors in terms of natural dance talent and charisma. The women are really throwing me for a loop. I love Danica, Amy, Meryl and Candace. I’m having trouble deciding who is best, and I’m also having trouble casting my votes so far this season because I want to vote for everybody! If I have to pick just one, I’m probably Team Amy.

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Dancing With the Stars season 18 premiered this week and even with the many changes to the show, things went rather smoothly. Following up on our review of the new celebrities participating this year, Chuck and I are back with our thoughts on the changes and who did best … and worst.

KIM: I thought the new band did well – they appeared to bring a younger energy to the set. Perhaps that’s why the producers felt a switch-up was necessary? I am so happy they brought the judges’ location back to its rightful place. I also love the Skybox – I was majorly bummed when they took it away last season. However, is it just me or was the rest of the set really lackluster? What happened to the big fancy, multicolored staircases and the really over-the-top costumes? I watch this show for the glitz and the glamour, and it felt like they were holding back on me last night. The entire show had a subdued feeling.

CHUCK: Yes, the new band did well and sometimes I couldn’t even tell when they were using recorded music, like with Ellie Goulding’s “Burn.” It sounded like the original, but then there were more voices singing with the chorus, so I thought they did a good job (and I love that song). The dancers have more floor space now with the orchestra pit mostly covered over, the video screen has been expanded down, and the staircases are still there. The stars haven’t made their entrance down the center though for a season or two. But there are two staircases at the opposite end of the ballroom as well. With the amazing lighting design that they employ on the dance floor, I thought the show was flashy as ever. They’ll build up to flashier costumes as the season progresses.

KIM: Erin seemed to hold her own as co-host, asking pertinent questions and managing to not sound like a complete airhead. I think she only placed so much emphasis on her former partner and time on the show because it was big news that Maks was back after such a long hiatus. Only time will tell though.

CHUCK: Yes, I did like Erin’s authority, and you can tell she’s a pro at what she does. She did get into asking just a bit too many personal questions which occasionally brought things to a grinding halt, and I wonder sometimes if she has producers whispering in her ear to say certain things. I do get your point about her references to her past and Maks’ return, but I hope she drops that soon because I got so sick of Brooke doing that. So what did you think of the dancing?

Nene & Tony; Cha-cha-cha — Score: 21
KIM: Nene Leakes was up first. I may still have no idea who she is, but I have to say NeNe won me over slightly with her personality. She was hilarious and not a bad dancer!
CHUCK: I love her spirit and attitude, and she did a pretty good job on her first dance, with good rhythm and musicality. And she sure was brave starting out the first dance of the seasons center stage by herself. Len said it was a great start.

James & Peta; Foxtrot — Score: 21
KIM: James was good-looking, but that only gets you so far in this competition. His performance didn’t wow me. In fact, it was very forgettable, as I’m sitting here and not recalling a single thing about it.
CHUCK: I thought James did a good job, even with the apparent awkwardness between him and Peta. He did seem a little stiff at times, though, and some footwork was a bit sloppy.

“James, you and I, we know why we’re here. We’re here for a bit of eye candy for the ladies.” — Len Goodman

Danica & Val; Foxtrot — Score: 24
KIM: Danica was as cute as ever. Has she aged at all since The Wonder Years? I love Val and I really would love to see him win a Mirror Ball Trophy. Maybe this will be his season, as he and Danica looked really comfortable together and made dancing well appear effortless.
CHUCK: Danica was adorable, and her enthusiasm for the show really came through in her performance. She wants to be there! I loved her excitement when meeting Val for the first time, they had a terrific first dance and she had great footwork and frame. She is definitely one to beat! It was also funny that she didn’t understand Erin’s question about how she felt and Val had to explain it to her.

“When Val starts translating for people, it’s got to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.” — Tom Bergeron

Sean & Karina; Contemporary — Score: 20
CHUCK: I’m not a big fan of Contemporary dances on this show. They amount to a bunch of running, jumping, spinning and lifting. There are no real technical dance steps. I guess he did okay. Carrie Anne was fascinated by him. It’s going to take a while to warm up to him. He just seems so cold and aloof, but maybe it’s just that very dry, sarcastic humor they mentioned in the video package.
KIM: So, Sean is a hockey player? That is interesting. I thought he did pretty well, but I agree with you Chuck when you say it will take a while to warm up to him – there’s just something about him that seems rather cold and calculating even off the ice. Did he ever smile?
CHUCK: Yes, Carrie Anne made him smile during her critique. Tom made a big deal of it!

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With the new cast of Dancing With the Stars announced, and the season premiere only hours away, it’s time for Kim and I to play catch up and dish on the stars, non-stars, and twists and turns coming this season.

CHUCK: The biggest issues we need to address first are the big shakeup in the personnel department. First we heard the Harold Wheeler Orchestra got the boot because they were going to use all pre-recorded, original music this time out … and then they went and hired a new band fronted by a former American Idol band leader. I know a lot of people out there hated the show’s music – and not necessarily the music, but the singers who often butchered the songs – but I thought Wheeler and his musicians and singers did an admirable job under tough circumstances. It’s hard to cut down and arrange a 3-plus minute song to a minute and a half, sometimes completely re-orchestrating the music to fit the style of the dance. I’m not sure how a stripped down band is going to work. I like the use of original music, but a live orchestra just adds to the ambiance. What do you think?

KIM: I never really had much of a problem with the music, to be honest. I was shocked to hear of this shakeup. I think original music would be a good format, but can they always get the rights to do that? The show wouldn’t be the same without the live music format. I hope they get this figured out!

CHUCK: And the second biggest elephant no longer in the room is the never delightful Brooke Burke-Charvet. I don’t know why they even bother giving Tom Bergeron a co-host. Bergeron really carried the show last season when they went from two nights to one which gave him more time to interact with the stars and pros as they waited for their judging and scores. It was much better than Brooke blathering on, sometimes seeming like she wasn’t even listening. My favorite Brooke moment was when they had her on the giant video screen above the stage and Tom was throwing to her and he said, “Brook, you’re enormous,” and her reply was, “Thanks Tom.” She was even more useless than Samantha Harris, and often turned an interview around to her experience on the show. Erin Andrews at least has reporting skills and DWTS experience, but I hope she doesn’t just ask more mindless questions.

KIM: I was never a big Brooke fan either. Let’s face it: she was mostly eye candy. I loved Erin when she was a contestant, so I’m hopeful about this change. She had a bubbly enthusiasm about her but she didn’t ever go overboard with it from what I remember. Thank goodness they didn’t get rid of Tom — he cracks me up every week! The show would definitely not be the same without Tom.

CHUCK: Tom is like Seacrest on Idol. No matter how many changes they make (and some think DWTS needs new judges too), Tom Bergeron should always be there! And then there’s the twist – later in the season, viewers will be able to vote on “The Switch Up,” which will rip apart the dance teams and force a celeb to dance with a new partner. I’m not sold on this idea at all. We watch the show to see the relationship develop between the star and their pro, and now just as they’re getting into a groove, they’re going to be torn apart?! It may inject drama into a show that has seen its ratings fall over the last few seasons, but it could also do some major damage as well.

KIM: Whaaat? I didn’t hear about this change! I very much dislike this idea! How can you root for any pairing with the knowledge that their partnership can change? Let’s hope they see the folly of this and don’t make it something they do every season because honestly that sounds like a turn-off to me. I have my favorite dance pros and my favorite celebrities and I usually stay pretty loyal to whomever I’m throwing my votes to each season.

CHUCK: Agreed. And then we come to the stars. Oh, they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I know “big” names won’t do the show because they see it as a step down into obscurity, but I think it’s been proven over time that being on the show has its benefits as far as putting someone’s star on the ascent rather than descent. So this year, we have very little in the way of “stars” – and my definition of a star is someone from stage or screen. Athletes are athletes, they can be famous and popular, but for me they don’t fall into the definition of a “star.”

And this season is rife with athletes of whom I have absolutely no investment at the moment. I don’t even know who most of them are! So good luck Sean Avery, Meryl Davis, Amy Purdy and Charlie White, whoever you are. At least I do know Diana Nyad, but what, she wasn’t old enough to pair with Tristan so he’s off the show?!

KIM: If I’m being honest, Charlie White is the only athlete this season I’ve ever heard of, and I don’t even know much about him. But then again, I don’t watch very many sports, and I seldom know who very many of the athletes are. But the athletes usually win me over because they end up being pretty good dancers! And I’m saddened to hear Tristan won’t be on there this season. We can count on Maks to add some snarky entertainment though.

CHUCK: Yes, Maks is back, so that’s a plus. Moving on to people I do know. First, Drew Carey. I used to love his sitcom, but I really don’t like him on The Price Is Right. He never really seems invested in the contestants like Bob Barker was. He seemed more warm and human when he was heavier, but now he just comes off as cold and distant. He’s really going to have to work it to win me over.

KIM: I still love Drew Carey! I’m excited to see him lighter on his feet and ready to sweep his dance partner off hers. I hope he wears a bow tie every single week because that might be enough to win my votes.

CHUCK: Nene Leakes was someone I only knew of from one of those Real Housewives shows. Then I was appalled when I heard she was going to be on Glee, but she surprised me with her performance regardless of how one-note it was written. Then I adored her on The New Normal, and I’ve been a fan ever since (although I still refuse to watch a Real Housewives show). I hope she can dance, because right now I think she’s the only person I’m really rooting for!

KIM: I don’t even know who this person is, sorry Chuck. I don’t watch any of those shows you just mentioned. This sounds like someone I might be annoyed watching though, similar to Snooki. I just don’t have much respect or patience for “reality TV stars.”

CHUCK: But Nene has segued into acting pretty well, so I give her props for that. I have no idea who James Maslow is. Or Cody Simpson for that matter. One is from Nickelodeon and the other is from The Disney Channel. I guess a certain Canadian bad boy wasn’t available or willing to go on the show, but if you’re reading this Justin, Dancing With the Stars is the perfect career rehabilitation you could use right about now.

KIM: I have no clue on either of these kids either. I never know the Disney celebrity, but I’m usually won over because they pick pretty talented kids.

CHUCK: I only vaguely know Candace Cameron Bure. She was on some sitcom I never watched. I do, however, know Danica McKellar and I loved her as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. I wonder if her appearance is tied in to the long-awaited release of that show on DVD? I hope she does well. She’s a child star who grew up without getting into any tabloid-style trouble, so I’ll put her up on my list with Nene as to who I’d like to see succeed.

KIM: ’80s aficionado that I am, these are the two celebrities I am most excited to see this season! I loved Full House and The Wonder Years growing up and out of all the celebs, I have seen the most pictures of Candace rehearsing with Mark (maybe that’s because I follow both on social media). I have to say Candace and Mark look absolutely adorable together! And for the record, Candace also had a pretty squeaky clean record, Chuck. I hope her fellow Full House co-stars come to root for her because that would make my day. Actually, if Kevin Arnold came to root for Winnie Cooper, that would also make my day! I adore Fred Savage.

CHUCK: Maybe Danica can talk Fred into doing it next season! Of course, the geek crowd should tune in for Billy Dee Williams. I saw him recently as a judge on an episode of King of the Nerds, so I wonder if his sudden resurgence of TV work is tied in to that upcoming film sequel to a popular franchise in which he played a memorable role? Or maybe he’s here to show he’s still got it and JJ Abrams should take note (especially if some of the original stars are coming back). He may be able to pilot a spaceship, but I’m not sure if he’s going to have the dancing skills to get him very far. And any bets on if his first dance will be to the Stars Wars theme? And I think it’s time to start a Facebook page petitioning them to cast George Takei next season!

KIM: Stay classy, Cloud City! The nerd in me is excited to see Billy Dee, but I have a feeling you’re right Chuck. I can’t picture him being very graceful. And I would 100% sign a petition to cast George Takei — he would be a blast to watch! I doubt that will ever happen though.

CHUCK: If a Facebook page can get Betty White a gig on SNL, then I think we can get George on DWTS. I bet he’d jump at the chance! Oh My! Well, I think it’s safe to say that while we have a couple of interesting celebs on the show this season, the dearth of “stars” and the influx of athletes is going to drive the show over to ESPN soon. Perhaps it’s time to think about just doing the show once a year so the pool of potential participants isn’t drained completely. Let us know who you’re rooting for, and we’ll check back in occasionally to rank our favorites!

Dancing with the Stars Season 17 got started in grand style with the pros, troupe, cast, judges and hosts doing a big dance number to “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” which was one of the songs from The Great Gatsby. Love the song, loved the whole number but … I believe they did pretty much the same thing on the first live show this season on So You Think You Can Dance. Sometimes it was a hot mess, but it still got the party started. And they wasted no time in getting started either! No long intro for the stars, we just got into the dance. That was just the first of many of this season’s changes.
Kim: I was slightly disappointed with the Season 17 premiere. I’m not sure why exactly – I think this season has a really strong, competitive cast. Maybe their costumes just weren’t glitzy enough for me. Maybe I missed seeing more of Harold Wheeler and the house band. Maybe I was bothered by the fact that everything seems to take place on or near the dance floor now. Maybe it’s because I know I’m only going to get my dose of glitter once a week now instead of twice. I can’t say for certain what it was that caused me to feel less than stellar about it. There were standout performances of course, but it felt like for each of those there were about two equally lackluster numbers in-between. Hopefully my mood improves next week!

CD: Brant & Peta were up first with a Cha-cha-cha. I believe Brant did a pretty great job with his dance, but I was still getting adjusted to all the changes in the ballroom. First, they danced to the actual song instead of Harold Wheeler’s orchestra and singers. Then I was very confused by the judges’ table because it seemed to be on the opposite side of the floor (it was). Then the rest of the cast was sitting right there next to the judges. The Celebriquarium is gone! I did think it was funny that Tom Bergeron dubbed the seating “The Sexy Bus Stop.” So it was all overwhelming for me to take in while trying to focus on the dance, but I think if Brant continues to do well (and getting the first 8 of the night from Len of all people should be a good indication of his talent), his skill, charm and extremely good looks (and being partnered with Peta isn’t going to hurt him) could make him a contender for the finals. Score: 22.
KT: I still don’t know who Brant is really, but he was definitely easy on the eyes, looks-wise and dance-wise! He seemed to nail his performance and I concur with Chuck – I could easily see him being a contender in the coming weeks of competition. I especially loved his story about telling his mom he was going to be on the show – that was really cute!

CD: Leah & Tony were up next with the Fox Trot. Leah seemed to have a great, self-deprecating sense of humor in her video package and she had some fun with the judges too. Despite all of her fears and self-doubt about her dancing ability, she did extremely well. She was very light on her feet and very elegant and the dance suited her well. We’ll see how she does with Contemporary or a Latin dance, but for now her personality and fan base should keep her around for a while. Score: 21.
KT: Leah is the perfect combination of sass and class, and I look forward to seeing her continue to improve week-to-week. I thought she looked very pretty, sophisticated and light on her feet.

CD: Okay, I know I gave Corbin a hard time in our preview post because of his cast photo, so I’m happy to say he does not look like his father in real life. The photographer should be fired. Corbin & Karina had the first Contemporary dance of the night, and while it was a fantastic piece, I have to wonder if it wasn’t one of the easier dances of the night. Yes, there is demanding choreography, but it doesn’t have the rigid structure of a traditional ballroom dance, so I think Corbin got off easy this week with a lot of running and jumping. And I totally thought he was going to drop Karina during that lift. The judges were impressed nonetheless. Score: 24
KT: I enjoyed Corbin & Karina’s Contemporary – it was visually and emotionally interesting and more than a little steamy. I don’t think it was the best Contemporary of the night, but I’m no longer going around saying, “Corbin who?”

CD: Jack & Cheryl were up next with a Fox Trot. Jack is in the unenviable position of (1) following in his sister’s footsteps on the show and (2) dealing with MS. I was worried that this season was going to bring on the pathos, and they had to tread a fine line. Jack explained his illness, but he joked about it too. And then they hit the dance floor and it was magical. Jack had some great, technical footwork that had his feet moving so fast you could just see a blur. Watching Jack dance made me smile and get teary all at the same time. It was a wonderful dance that got a final score of 23.
KT: Jack looked so debonair! He was easily one of my favorites of the night, as his dance was very playful and cute. I thought he did very well and when I saw his mom tear up, I almost did! I was a little miffed that Bruno didn’t give him an 8! Jack is still one to beat in my opinion. I’ll probably start voting for him as soon as Bill Nye is kicked off.

CD: Amber & Derek hit the floor with a Cha-cha-cha and that girl tore it up. I saw another comment online that said she totally stole the show from the normally camera-hogging Derek and that is so true. I wasn’t even looking at Derek. Amber shook and shimmied, with great footwork and hand and arm extensions … it truly was a showstopping moment for the first week. The ballroom erupted as she finished and the judges were gobsmacked, awarding three 9s! I don’t think anyone has ever gotten a 9 on the first show. Amber is a force to be reckoned with. But will there be backlash from those who believe her dance experience on Glee gives her an edge? Score: 27.
KT: While I would agree that Amber shook her moneymaker for all it was worth, I was surprised she got three 9s! I’m thrilled for both her and Derek, but I was like really? It was certainly fun and exhilarating, but not an almost-perfect dance in my humble opinion. Maybe one of the better ones of the night, but it was the first week so that isn’t saying much.

CD: Elizabeth & Val had to follow that with another Contemporary number. I think this one was much more technical than Corbin’s, and Elizabeth had fantastic movement and grace, very expressive and emotional and the dance suited the song, “Imagine,” to a T. Elizabeth may also have some nay-sayers because she really has more of a dance background than anyone, but she says she really gave it up after Showgirls. I’m sure she still remembers her training so we’ll see if that helps or hurts her in the end. Score: 24.
KT: It may not have been extremely fiery or intense, but I enjoyed their Contemporary number nonetheless. Elizabeth had amazing lines, and I still see her propelling forward to the finals. The choreography was brilliant as always. I’d love to see Val win this season. It also made me laugh that Val learned English by watching Saved by the Bell – can you imagine that?

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Well, it’s almost ballroom dancing time as the 17th season of Dancing with the Stars reveals the celebs feverishly working on their dance moves before the season premiere. In addition to the new roster of stars and pros, there is also another new twist to the competition this year – one show per week! There will be no Tuesday night results show (which I’ll miss because it was more of a music and variety showcase that just happened to feature an elimination), so it will be interesting to see how they handle the elimination week to week.

But before we get to all the competition and eliminations, fellow Clacker Kim Tibbs and I huddled together in our lavishly appointed CliqueClack Conference Room to have a look at the new stars and dish about their chances.

KIM: The first thoughts that went chanting through my mind when I read the Dancing with the Stars cast announcement for Season 17 were “Bill … Bill … Bill … Bill!” I am beyond excited about the announcement that Bill Nye: The Science Guy will now be Bill Nye: The Dancing Guy! I loved watching his kids’ program in the mid-1990s, and I especially adore a nerdy man in a bow tie. I don’t care if he’s the worst dancer ever featured on the program, he’s getting my votes as long as he’s in it! I said the same thing about Andy Dick last season too … go nerdy underdogs, go! You make the program far more entertaining in my book. My friends and I are betting he comes out dancing to “She Blinded Me with Science” by Thomas Dolby. As clichéd as it would be, it would also seriously make my day if he did. Who knows? Maybe Bill will surprise us all, as he once blew my impressionable mind with his science!

CHUCK: I definitely rooted for Andy Dick last season, so Nye certainly does seem to fill the nerd space in this year’s roster. I never watched his show, but I’ve seen him speak on TV and read some of his articles and posts online, so he does seem to be a pretty intelligent and compassionate guy. That compassion and pure likability may carry him on for much longer than his dancing will. But he could surprise us.

KT: Overall, this seems like a pretty stellar cast lineup this season. I actually recognize many of the names, which is not something I can always say. I cannot express enough admiration for Valerie Harper being added. I have adored her in The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda reruns all of my life and I find it so inspirational that she’s ready to compete not long after her brain cancer scare and apparent remission. Look at her recovering in style! She is also paired with one of my favorite dance pros on the show: Tristan MacManus, so she also has that going for her. She might just make it to the finals after all!

CD: I’m split on the name recognition, but I’m old so I know all of the older stars and few of the newcomers or athletes. And I am just so torn on the casting of Valerie Harper. Let’s get this very clear – I adore her and was so devastated to hear about her illness. She’s been such an inspiration during her ordeal, and I know everyone has been rooting for her (even if they all wondered if she would still be around by the time her Hot in Cleveland/Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion episode aired). I know she’s going to be an inspiration on DWTS to show that you can live with anything and make the most of your life, but I worry that people are just going to be tuning in to see if she crumbles under the strain. It’s tough on the healthiest of people to learn these dances week after week, so I hope it just doesn’t turn into morbid fascination for the viewers. And I love Tristan too, but why does he always get stuck with the older women?

KT: I must say I’m so excited about Elizabeth Berkley, a.k.a. Jessica Spano from Saved By the Bell, being part of the cast. Partnered with Val Chmerkovskiy, I think they will be one of the power couples to beat this season – if she can stay off the caffeine pills that is (ha-ha, I had to make a reference to the best Saved By the Bell episode ever!). She obviously has the dance experience, even if they were mostly stripper moves in Showgirls. She also looks to be in fabulous shape and Val has really impressed me the past few seasons for both his patience and passion. I’d love to see him win a Mirror Ball!

CD: Never saw an episode of SBTB, so all I could think about when seeing Berkley on the list was stripper moves. Which I’m sure will not help in any way with ballroom dancing, but you can bet at some point they will figure out how to incorporate a Showgirls reference. And maybe Gina Gershon will show up to cheer her on … or push HER down the stairs! (That’s a Showgirls reference, btw.)

KT: Another standout I will be routing for is Jack Osbourne, who is looking very svelte and handsome now, isn’t he? I loved watching his sister Kelly dance many seasons ago and I’m looking forward to seeing what the younger Osbourne can do on the dance floor. Jack is paired with Cheryl Burke, which seems like a departure from her usually being paired with the male athlete of the season. I think Jack will be one of the funnier contestants, along with Glee’s Amber Riley, who is paired with my favorite dance pro Derek Hough. I can’t wait to see what kind of choreography Derek throws her way!

CD: Wasn’t Jack diagnosed with MS not too long ago? I hope this season doesn’t turn out to be too schmaltzy now with a cancer patient and someone with MS. It’s great that they can make people more aware of these things and, again, inspire but I don’t want it all to become too maudlin. I watch DWTS for the dancing, costumes and flashy lighting, to escape for a couple of hours. I don’t want to be in tears every time I watch Valerie or Jack dance! As for Amber Riley, all I could think was “seriously?” Wow, you get dropped from a hit show and your next stop is DWTS?

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The, ahem, stars are back in the beautiful ABC ballroom for a sixteenth season of Dancing with the Stars, so for its season premiere my good pal Tara and I sat down and asked each other “who could win?” and “just exactly who are these people?” Our original plan was to pick a couple of people we thought could be our favorites, but when we both came up with the same two stars … because they were basically the only ones we knew … we decided to just go ahead and critique everyone’s performances and pick a contender or two after seeing them dance.

So after careful consideration and wearing out the DVR rewind button, we gathered our thoughts and had our post-show conversation. It went a little something like this …

Chuck: So, Tara, what did you think of this season’s crop of stars and their dancing abilities … or lack thereof?
Tara: Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough –Derek says she has potential for greatness. He oughta know. I watched her on American Idol the season she competed in, and she came out with some pretty funny lines. For the first week, I thought she was impressive. Although I like her with long hair better. The judges were rather tough with giving her all sevens, but at the beginning they usually give lower scores.
Chuck: I agree with you … about her hair. But her goofiness during rehearsals and pretty decent performance have won me over. I thought she was terrific, especially being first up and her experience being on another competition reality show should give her a bit of an advantage.
Tara: Good point about competition show experience!

Chuck: Victor Ortiz — Did not dance like a butterfly … scratch that, he danced like a huge butterfly the way he flapped those arms around. Much better and more controlled in hold though. I’m surprised the lift police, aka Carrie Ann, didn’t call them out for Lindsay’s foot coming off the floor. I did like Bruno’s comment referring to his big arm gestures: “It’s not Gorillas in the Mist.”
Tara: I’m mean ’cause I thought Bruno’s comment was really funny. I know. I’m mean.

Chuck: Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson got stuck with the first Contemporary dance of the evening. I was surprised they’d give them a dance with all those lifts on the first night, but he did a good job. Unfortunately, this is supposed to be a ballroom dancing competition, not So You Think You Can Dance! What are they going to do next week … Crunk?
Tara: Victor the Boxer and Ingo the Soap guy were just okay for me. I’m trying to come up with witty banter, but there ain’t much to say. They both will likely be tossed off in the middle somewhere.

Chuck: Lisa Vanderpump and Gleb Savchenko … are two of the hardest names to punch out here on the keyboard. Does she have a butt implant, because it looked weird and Lisa in a leotard is one of those things you just can’t un-see. Len thought there was too much staggering, so maybe she’d had a few cocktails. She’s definitely not a cougar though, because her chemistry with Gleb is non-existent. They’re pretty uncomfortable to watch.
Tara: Lisa from the Real Housewives and her dog just annoy me. People shouldn’t dress up their dogs as humans. It’s humiliating. That dog appears to have more outfits than I do, for Pete’s Sake.

Chuck: D.L. Hughley and Cheryl Burke — who did Cheryl piss off to get stuck with him? I’m having flashbacks to Master P. If he’s not the first to go, I will be shocked. And he calls himself Boogie Fantastic?!
Tara: He seems like a jovial sort, but I’ve watched this show long enough to know that Cheryl is completely pissed she got stuck with him. A bad partner equals an early sendoff and a lesser paycheck. I expect them to be gone first and watch her try to turn her sneer into a smile and take it gracefully. Now that I’ve called it to your attention? You’ll see how hard it will be for her to hide her disgust.
Chuck: I think that picture above is an accurate representation of D.L. killing Cheryl’s chances of winning another trophy.

Tara: Little Miss Disney Chick? Considering she’s a singer and hip hop dancer, I suspected she’d be good. Didn’t you? And is it even fair to allow someone that young who is already experienced in dance in the same competition as D.L.? She’s a contendah. For sure.
Chuck: This could get real awkward with her age. Did you see Val immediately pull back when she said she was 16? And who at 16 has the right to go only by their first name? I think Cher and Madonna would have a thing or two to say about that. But the dance suited her age, definitely. It will be interesting to see how she does with some of the more “mature” dances (which could be icky and illegal in some states).

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