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CliqueClack’s scary guide to your Halloween TV viewing

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I don’t know how it happened or when it happened but sometime between my childhood and now Halloween became a big business. As big as Chrismakwanzakuah in many cases. The evermore elaborate costumes, the re-theming of every product you purchase, the decorations. Face it, from September until October 31st Halloween permeates every fabric of society.

Even television has taken advantage of this time. With so many channels on the air now, it was inevitable that they would use the time that they have to modify their schedules to a more creepy Halloween theme. Problem is, there is so much on during it’s hard to keep track. That’s where we come in. If you click ahead you will find a comprehensive list of every Halloween-themed show and movie that will be airing from 7:00 a.m. today to the wee hours of Saturday morning. Please use this in order to program not only your DVR but your day.

And, if you’re tired of all this Halloween crap, fear not … Christmas decorations begin going up 12:01 a.m. on November 1st.

All times are Eastern Daylight Time

Marathons:

Goosebumps (Cartoon Network) – The CN reaches into its non-animated bag of programming and features an all-day marathon of this horror program for kids. And, when I say all-day I mean from 6 a.m. until Adult Swim starts at 11:00 p.m. So, if you’re hankering for some animated fare you might want to jump over to Boomerang or the Internet.

Ghost Hunters (SciFi) – Previously aired episodes of Ghost Hunters are run back-to-back from the beginning of SciFi’s program schedule until Ghost Hunters Live at 7:00 p.m.

Extreme Ghost Stories (We) – A four-hour marathon of paranormal investigations that take place in and around London, England.

7:00 A.M.

Good Morning America (ABC) – Pumpkin carving is discussed.

Classroom (bio.) – A profile of author Anne Rice.

Malcolm in the Middle (FX) – The boys get into some post-Halloween mischief.

Today Show (NBC) – It’s time for Matt, Meridith, Ann and Al to dress up in costumes they wouldn’t be caught dead in if they weren’t on camera and getting paid many, many dollars.

Festival of Shorts (TCM) – A 1942 short featuring Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”.

7:30 A.M.

House of Dracula (AMC) – Another recount of the Bram Stoker story. This time Drac is played by actor Christopher Lee.

Higglytown Heroes (Disney) – Those roly-poly Higglytowners learn some important lessons about Halloween traditions in their town.

The Abominable Snowman (FNC) – Not the cute-and-cuddly one from Monsters Inc. This is the one that kills people and eats them for lunch. Starring Forrest Tucker and Peter Cushing.

Malcolm in the Middle (FX) – While the kids go out trick-or-treating Hal discovers his home was site to a gruesome murder.

Cat People (TCM) – Wasn’t this a song by Randy Newman?

7:35 A.M.

Ring of Darkness (Showtime) – A new boy band member discovers the rest of his group are a bunch of zombies. Taken from the true-life biography of New Kids on the Block.

8:00 A.M.

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (ABC Family) – A creepy doll brings a bunch of nasty party crashers to Sabrina’s Halloween party.

Biography (bio.) – Profile on Linda Blair. Repeats at 2:00 p.m.

Little Einsteins (Disney) – Most. Boring. Cartoon. Ever.

Exorcism: Driving Out the Devil (History) – The history of exorcism is explored. Dramatic reenactments and comments from exorcism experts are featured. Rebroadcast at 2:00 p.m.

In Dreams (Lifetime Movie Network) – Annette Bening stars as a mother who has a psychic link to the man who abducted her daughter.

Arthur (PBS) – The Scooby gang investigate a spooky noise one of them heard in the woods. Blood, guts and chaos ensue. Rebroadcast at 4:30 p.m.

Night Court (TV Land) – Our favorite New York judge comes under the spell of a supposed witch.

8:15 A.M.

Darkman (Cinemax) – Not really a horror movie, per se, but enough dark elements to be added to this list.

8:30 A.M.

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (ABC Family) – Edgar Allan Poe IV appears as the original as Sabrina fights a bunch of coffee shop demons.

A Lyon in the Kitchen (Discovery Health) – Cooking with pumpkins. Then, how to entertain those pumpkins after dinner.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (Disney) – The gang needs to get to Trick-or-Treat Tower in time for the big Halloween party.

Martha Speaks (PBS) – Martha fears a “haunted” house. Have no idea what that means. Rebroadcast at 4:00 p.m.

8:45 A.M.

Godsend (The Movie Channel) – Robert De Niro stars in this thriller about a cloned child who begins to exhibit strange behavior. Of course it’s strange: he’s a clone!

9:00 A.M.

Step by Step (ABC Family) – One of the kids is led to do some not-too-nice things at at Halloween party.

Biography (bio.) – Profile on Psycho’s Janet Leigh. Repeats at 3:00 p.m.

The Curse of the Fly (FMC) – In this 1966 film evil scientists conduct experiments to change people into monsters. This, rather than curing cancer.

Wes Craven Presents Dracula III:Legacy (FX) – It’s a search for Dracula in war-torn Romania. Featuring Jason Scott Lee, Jason London, Diane Neal and Roy Schieder.

The Omen (Spike) – The classic 1976 horror film that made millions of perspective parents cross the name of Damien out of their baby books.

9:05 A.M.

Soul Survivors (Showtime) – Eliza Dushku alert! The soon-to-be star of FOX’s Dollhouse stars in this movie about a college student who, after being injured in a car accident, sees the dead passenger walking around campus and eating at the grease trucks. Fat Cats for everyone!

9:30 A.M.

Halloween (AMC) – And so, AMC begins its annual marathon if Halloween movies. This includes National Lampoon’s Halloween and Halloween Babies.

10:00 A.M.

Biography (bio.) -A focus on Halloween’s Jamie Lee Curtis. Rebroadcast at 4:00 p.m.

THS Investigates (E!) – A look at serial killers. Someone tell me why this is considered entertainment.

Bats (FX) – Deadly bat attacks plaque a small town in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, Lou Diamond Phillips is there to help.

Extreme Measures (HBO Signature) – Hugh Grant goes serious in this thriller about well-known doctor (Gene Hackman) performing experiments on humans.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (HBO2) – The cute little tykes are pissed. So, they take over a skyscraper to show their disgust.

MonsterQuest (History) – A profile on a bloodthirsty creature who attacked pets and farm animals in a small North Carolina community. Rebroadcast at 4:00 p.m.

Awake to Danger (Lifetime Movie Network) – Tori Spelling has lost her memory and can’t remember either the person who killed her mother or the point that her career took a tailspin.

Halloween Unmasked (National Geographic Channel) – The history of Halloween is told.

Super Why! (PBS) – The Super Readers learn all about Halloween.

Most Terrifying Places in America (Travel) – Seven paranormal hotspots are examined. Rebroadcast at 5:00 p.m.

Hope & Faith (We) – Faith meets Mr. Right at a Halloween party. Maybe too right, if you know what I mean.

10:15 A.M.

The Devil’s Doll(TCM) – Lionel Barrymore stars as a Devil’s Island escapee who opens a shop featuring five “dolls” that are actually miniature humans who do his bidding. Man, that would be cool!

10:30 A.M.

Essence of Emeril (Food Network) – Emeril makes some Halloween treats that will make your cardiologist rub his hands together in greedy glee.

Witchcraft (FMC) – Crazy things are going on in a town where a witch was once buried alive. Starring Lon Chaney.

Hope & Faith (We) – Hope throws a Halloween soiree. Some form of hilarity ensues.

10:35 A.M.

The Roost (Showtime) – A bunch of friends who are on their way to a wedding get stranded at an abandoned farm. And, you know what? It’s swarming with vampire bats. Who would have thunk it?

11:00 A.M.

The View (ABC) – The gals dress up as yentas for Halloween. Oh wait, they dress like that every day.

The Unexplained (bio.) – The show takes a look at psychic children. Rebroadcast at 5:00 p.m.

The Omen (Bravo) – Just in case you didn’t watch it on Spike two hours ago.

Dead Silence (Cinemax) – Two words: ventriloquist dummy. Let me know when you’re done screaming.

MonsterQuest (History) – Focus on the legends of American vampires. Rebroadcast at 5:00 p.m.

Halloween’s Most Extreme – A look at Halloween festivities across the country.

Dharma & Greg – Dharma requests an exorcism for a room filled with alleged evil dolls.

11:30 A.M.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (AMC) – It’s a family reunion that results in blood, gore and death. So, pretty much like the last reunion you and your family had.

Event Horizon (Cinemax) – Horror in outer space. Starring Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill.

Easy Entertaining With Michael  Chiarello (Food Network) – Halloween-inspired recipes such as garlic soup and vampire blood punch with eyeballs.

Damien—Omen II (Spike) – This time around, Damien is being primed to be Satan’s disciple.

11:45 A.M.

Shadow of the Vampire (HBO2) – William Dafoe portrays Nosferatu.

12:00 P.M.

Mediums: We See Dead People (bio.) – Profiles on psychic mediums and extra larges (we call them “big sized” psychics). Rebroadcast at 6:00 p.m.

Twitches Too (Disney) – The teen witches search for their father, who is presumably alive. I swear I wrote this same description last year.

It’s Alive: Creating a Monster Classic (FMC) – A behind-the-scenes look at the making of 1974’s Young Frankenstein.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (FX) – A sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer. This time, Julie James and her new best friend hang out at an island resort.

Touched by an Angel (Hallmark) – The series finale that pits Monica against Satan himself. Guest-starring a whole crapload of people.

Haunted History of Halloween (History) – The show chronicles the history of the holiday from its early Celtic origins to the 2nd most popular holiday in today’s times. Rebroadcast at 6:00 p.m.

Home Improvement (TBS) – Four Halloween-themed episodes grace the network from noon until 2 p.m. While some scoff at the success of Home Improvement it normally did Halloween right while it was on the air.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein (Toon Disney) – Alvin, Simon and Theodore meet Franky while working on a movie.

Haunted Town (Travel) – A look at the spirits of Atchison, Kansas.

12:30 P.M.

WordWorld (PBS) – The WordFriends (not to be confused with the SuperFriends) mistake a sleepwalking pig for a ghost. Eh, could happen to anyone.

Young Frankenstein (FMC) – That’s Frankensteen, thank you very much. Rebroadcast at 6:00 p.m.

1:00 P.M.

MADtv (Comedy Central) – A Halloween-themed repeat of the long-running alternative to Saturday Night Live.

A Haunting (Discovery) – A couple believes their rural Taiwan mansion is haunted. Send in a Taoist Catholic priest who will tell them if it’s true or not.

25 Celebrity Near Death Experiences (E!) – Just what the title says. And, were not talking about near career-death experiences.

The Blair Witch Project (FLIX) – Ah, the classic story of three kids in the woods who are attacked by something we don’t see on camera. Funny and touching. Rebroadcast at 9:45 p.m.

The Devil Bat (TCM) – Bela Lugosi is a mad scientist who breeds gigantic killing bats. What? Who thought a happy scientist would do this?

World’s Creepiest Destinations (Travel) – A look at the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast , the Tower of London and the Bermuda Triangle.

1:10 P.M.

The Return (Cinemax) – Sarah Michelle Gellar is haunted by a murder that occurred 15 years ago. Well, fifteen years ago movie time, not 15 years ago real time.

1:30 P.M.

The Exorcist (Bravo) – Linda Blair. Spinning heads. Projectile vomit. It’s all there in this classic 70s horror flick.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (AMC) – Mike’s family reunion sucked so bad that he’s gunning after his family members. Particularly his physic-powered niece who knows where Michael is at all times.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (HBO2) – This 1995 Mel Brooks’ comedy features Leslie Nielsen as Count Dracula.

2:00 P.M.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (ABC Family) – With Hilda and Zelda gone, Sabrina throws a Halloween party at the house. You can tell what happens without me writing another word.

A Haunting in Georgia (Discovery) – A paraspychologist is brought in to work with a Georgia girl who begins to see ghost-like men in her yard. Part 2 of this show airs at 3:00 p.m.

Pulse (Encore) – Spirits that live in computers try to get out to wreak havoc on the real world. See, this is why you need virus protection.

Cold Creek Manor (FX) – A couple start experiencing strange situations after buying a foreclosed country home. This goes to show you…always have a home inspector check for paranormal activity before you buy.

Blessed (Lifetime) – The 21st Century version of Rosemary’s Baby, starring Heather Graham. This time, the proud mother-to-be is impregnated with Satan’s DNA. Didn’t know he was a sperm donor.

Omen III: The Final Conflict (Spike) – Satan’s son (Sam Neill) eyes the presidency of the United States. I am not going there with this one!

America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions (Travel) – Featuring looks at Thrillvania Thrill Park in Texas.

2:15 P.M.

White Zombie (TCM) – Another Bela Lugosi flick. This time around he’s a plantation owner in Hatai who victimizes a young woman.

2:30 P.M.
Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (ABC Family) – Sabrina takes her friends to the Mystery Train for a Halloween ride. Little does she now that the Train is in the Other Realm and her friends can’t leave until she can solve a series of puzzles.

The Abyss (FMC) – Fantastic James Cameron sci-fi thriller starring Ed Harris. Great special effects. Love this movie.

2:40 P.M.

Rosemary’s Baby( Cinemax) – This creepy Roman Polanski-directed film stars Mia Farrow and Ruth Gordon. Gordon won an Oscar for her performance.

2:45 P.M.

Stir of Echos (Showtime) – Kevin Bacon is haunted by ghosts after being hypnotized at a party. Hey, beats clucking like a chicken every time someone says “toilet”.

3:00 P.M.

20 Most Shocking Unsolved Crimes (E!) – I am shocked!

America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions (Travel) – More Halloween attractions, including the Bates Motel in Glen Mills, PA and the Chamber of Thrills in California.

3:30 P.M.

Jeepers Creepers (AMC) – A brother and sister road trip turns creepy when they encounter a supernatural being. Executive produced by Francis Ford Coppola. No, I am not kidding!

The Body Snatchers (TCM) – Not that one. This is about a doctor who buys bodies for experiments. Stars Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi.

4:00 P.M.

Jaime Foxx (CW) – Jaime and Fancy kiss while at a costume party. Afterwards, fantasies go flying between the two.

Even Scarier Movie Moments (Bravo) – Featuring clips from Vertigo, A Clockwork Orange and Day of the Dead.

Ghost (HBO2) – Patrick Swazye and Demi Moore use a pottery wheel as a metaphor for sex. Or, do they use the pottery wheel for sex. I can’t remember.

Reel Homes: Real Scary (HGTV) – A look at horror movie homes from movies like The Sixth Sense and Scream.

King of Queens (TBS) – Arthur forbids Doug to even mention the word Halloween around him.

America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions 3 (Travel) – More of America’s scariest places to visit.

Haunted (We) – Ghostly encounters are recalled at a haunted opera house as well as other locations.

4:30 P.M.

The Wayans Brothers (CW) – Shawn mocks a ghost that haunts the building. Probably something you don’t want to do.

Everyday Italian (Food) – Italian-style Halloween treats are highlighted.

House of Wax (FX) – Young adults. Road trip. Backwater town. Haunted wax museum. You figure it out.

The Gate (Showtime) – Two boys unearth demons in their backyard. Starring Stephen Dorff.

5:00 P.M.

Even Scarier Movie Moments (Bravo) – Part 2 features even more scary clips.

The Hills Have Eyes II (Cinemax) – A bunch of guard trainees get gnawed on by desert-dwelling zombies. Starring no one you would remember.

20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders (E!) – And the joy just keeps on coming. Covered are the murders of Nicole Simpson, Biggie Smalls, and Sharon Tate.

Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (MOMAX) – We go back to the 1940s and a young Father Merrin as he encounters pure evil during an archaeological dig.

Bedlam (TCM) – Boris Karloff stars in this 1946 movie about injustices at an insane asylum.

5:15 P.M.

The Dark (TMC) – Parents are visited by a young girl who claims to be their drowned daughter. This, of course, is weird.

5:30 P.M.

Constantine (AMC) – Kenau Reeves stars as the DC Comics (actually, it’s subsidiary Vertigo) character who has literally been to hell and back.

5:45 P.M.

The Crucible- (HBO Signature) – The 1996 adaptation of Arthur Miller’s 1953 play that focused on the Salem witch trials. Starring Winonna Ryder and Daniel-Day Lewis.

6:00 P.M.

100 Scariest Movie Moments (Bravo) – This five-part series makes up the brunt of Bravo’s nighttime schedule. I guess a marathon of Top Nose Picker wasn’t scary enough.

Halloween Most Extreme (Travel) – More Halloween festivals are spotlighted.

Scream Queens (VH1) – Two episodes of the reality series featuring a competition for a role in Saw VI.

6:15 P.M.

The Craft (HBO2) – Neve Campbell stars in this flick about four teens who use their magic powers for evil rather than good.

6:30 P.M.

Fear (Cinemax) – A teen and her family are stalked by an obsessed boyfriend who has some serious, serious need issues.

The Ghoul (TCM) – Boris Karloff rises from the grave to retrive a jewel.

7:00 P.M.

That 70’s Show (ABC Family) – A homage to Alfred Hitchcockwith scenes parodying films like Vertigo, The Birds and Rear Window.

Suite Life of Zack & Cody (Disney) – Those wacky twins release a monster-robot in the hotel. They say it’s “accidental”, but come on!

Halloween:H20 (FX) – Jamie Lee Curtis returns to this franchise after 20 years. Just in time for Mike to terrorize the prep school she currently runs.

Fairly OddParents (Nick) – Timmy wants a real scary costume to wear for trick-or-treating this year.

Ghost Hunters Live (SciFi) – Hey, the team revisits Fort Delaware in Delaware City. That’s practically down the street from me — right past the Valero plant! How cool. Oh, and Amanda Tapping joins the hunt.

Ghost Adventures (Travel) – In this new series Zack Bagans conducts paranormal investigations across the globe.

7:15 P.M.

Eaten Alive (IFC) – An inkeeper feeds his guests to his pet crocs.

The Abandoned (Showtime) – An American movie producers inherits a home in Russia that contains deep, dark secrets from her past.

7:30 P.M.

Poltergeist (ABC Family) – I will always remember the scene where the guy peels off his face in the mirror. It has been burned in my brain for all eternity.

The Canterville Ghost (ION) – Patrick Stewart stars as a spirit that hosts an old manor. Neve Campbell is the teen who wants to try and free him.

SpongeBob SquarePants (Nick) – The Flying Dutchman makes an appearance at Mr. Krabs’ Halloween party.

The Dead One (TMC) – After dying in a car accident a man is sent to Purgatory. He ends up searching for a human sacrifice for the Aztec gods that control his soul. Yeah, I didn’t understand either.

8:00 P.M.

Ghost Whisperer (CBS) – Well, every episode of this features ghosts, so it really isn’t that special. It’s just the fact that it’s a new episode that it is featured here.

Resident Evil (AMC) – Yes, again on AMC. They are really on the ball when it comes to their original dramatic series. Their movies, on the other hand…The movie is rebroadcast again at 1:45 a.m.

More Haunted Houses: Tortured Souls & Spirits (bio.) – A paranormal investigation about the events surrounding the 1865 hanging of Mary Surratt, believed to be a co-conspirator in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Rebroadcast at midnight.

Doomed to Die: 13 Most Shocking Hollywood Curses (E!) – Various Hollywood curses are examined.

The Silence of the Lambs (Encore) – I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen this movie. And, I probably will never watch it, despite its popularity.

The Company of Wolves (Flix) – An updated version of “Little Red Riding Hood” starring Angela Landsbury.

Phantom of the Paradise (FMC) – An updated version of Phantom of the Opera that features a disfigured man who haunts a rock palace. This 1974 film is directed by Brian DePalma. Rebroadcast at 10:00 p.m.

Modern Marvels (History) – This new episodes focuses on Halloween tech such as modern monster make-up and fake blood.

A Deadly Vision (LMN) – A psychic waitress (my, there are a lot of psychics out there) helps the police investigate a series of murders.

iCarly (Nick) – Carly hosts a Halloween party at a haunted apartment.

The Haunted Palace (TCM) – A Roger Corman classic featuring Vincent Price in a story about 18th century witchcraft.

The Hills Have Eyes (Telemundo) – Or, as they say in espanol: Las colinas tienen ojos

The Cosby Show (TV Land) – A fun early season episode that features Vanessa and her attempts to mask her feelings from the coolest boy at her Halloween party.

8:15 P.M.

I Am Legend (Cinemax) – Wil Smith goes it all alone against a city of zombies in this sci-fi thriller.

8:30 P.M.

Phineas and Ferb (Disney) – The kids build a haunted house to scare the bejeezus out of one of their female friends.

8:55 P.M.

The Burning (IFC) – This time around the location is a summer camp and the bad guy is its deformed caretaker.

9:00 P.M.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (ION) – A 1999 adaptation of the Washington Irving story.

R.L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly (Disney) – Two friendly ghosts help an aspiring 11-year-old magician obtain fame and success. What? It’s Disney Channel for Pete’s sake! Did you think the ghosts were going to eat the boy?

True Hollywood Story (E!) – A profile on Star Jones. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Ghost Ship (FX) – A salvage ship discovers a cruise ship and its seemingly alive passengers. Problem is, the ship sunk back in 1962.

What’s With That Really Haunted Halloween House? (HGTV) – This show spotlights over-the-top Halloween decoractions. Apparently, they won’t be stopping by my house.

Devil’s Diary (Lifetime) – Two high school kids go to town after discovering a book that grants them their wishes when they write something in it. This is a perfect example of why children should not learn to write!

Zoey 101 (Nick) – Logan tries to build the ultimate haunted house. He does such a great job that is scares Zoey into an unwed, teenage pregnancy.

Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (TMC) – Snoop hosts this trilogy of horror stories featuring gangbangers, rappers and racism.

9:30 P.M.

Ned’s Declassified… (Nick) – Ned and his pals have six hours to concoct a scary school Halloween party.

Die, Monster, Die (TCM) – An old house holds some scary secrets. Starring Boris Karloff.

10:00 P.M.

House on Haunted Hill (AMC) – The 1999 remake that features Geoffrey Rush as a tycoon who will pay $1 million dollars to the person or persons who survive the night at an abandoned insane asylum.

Ghosts: Fact or Fiction (bio.) – A study is done to determine if ghosts are real or not.

Jaws (Cinemax) – I have never seen this movie from beginning to end. One day, perhaps.

Child’s Play (Encore) – The adorable and deadly Chuckie is introduced to us.

Hush Little Baby (LMN) – A woman believes her infant daughter is demonic. Oy!

10:30 P.M.

The Breed (TMC) – college kids + weekend getaway + deserted island + genetically altered dogs = a crappy horror film.

11:00 P.M.

Ghostly Encounters (bio.) – A look at the ghosts of murder victims.

The Shuttered Room (TCM) – A tale of family curses and demonic possession.

Most Haunted (Travel) – The team (if you watch the show you know who they are) continue their investigation of the Coalhouse Fort on the banks of Thames of Essex. Gosh, I love those English town names.

11:10 A.M.

The Wicker Man (FLIX) – Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward star in this movie about paganism in Scotland.

11:15 A.M.

Subject Two (Sundance) – A scientist conducts resurrection experiments in his Rocky Mountain cabin. Not too sure why this is considered a horror flick since he isn’t a “mad” scientist.

11:30 P.M.

Ghostly Encounters (bio.) – A look at ghosts with unfinished business.

Firestarter (Cinemax) – Drew Barrymore can start fires with just a thought. George C. Scott is the man who is trying to hunt her down.

November 1st

12:00 A.M.

Return to House on Haunted Hill (AMC) – Why, oh why, would you want to return to the place that you know is haunted.

Nite Takes (BET) – Flavor Flav hosts two horror tales.

Saw III (Showtime) – Jigsaw trains a new apprentice while he his on his death bed. Aw, how sweet!

Man’s Best Friend (TMC) – Silly Ally Sheedy releases a genetically-engineered guard dog onto the unsuspecting public. Thanks a lot, Ally!

12:45 A.M.

The Dunwich Horror (TCM) – This time, horror strikes a coastal community in this H.P. Lovecraft story.

1:30 A.M.

The Messengers (Encore) – A teen is haunted by ghosts after he moves from Chicago to rural North Dakota. That’s because no ghosts haunt the streets of Chicago.

Holla (BET) – There’s a TV reporter, her friends, a cabin in the woods, and a mysterious killer lurking it all. Sounds like good comedy to me.

1:50 A.M.

The Tripper (Showtime) – A bunch of stoners are stalked by a serial killer wearing a Ronald Reagan mask.

2:00 A.M.

Alien: The Director’s Cut (FMC) – This release of the classic sci-fi horror film features bonus footage and an enhanced soundtrack.

Dying to Remember (LMN) – Melissa Gilbert portrays a woman who is recalling the murder of someone — herself.

The Gravedancers (SciFi) – Here is a lesson on what not to do in a graveyard: don’t dance of the graves of the dearly departed while you’re drunk. Next thing you know, you’re haunted until you die.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Spike) – Ah, a classic love story between a crazed maniac and his chainsaw.

2:30 A.M.

Blood Feast (TCM) – One of the first slasher films. The 1963 flick features a knife-happy caterer.

3:00 A.M.

The Scream Team (Disney) – A brother and sister pair up with a trio of ghosts to ensure that their grandfather rests in peace. Again, it’s Disney. Don’t look for too many ax-wielding maniacs here.

3:05 A.M.

Hellraiser:Bloodline (Encore) – The fourth installment of the series tells the history of Pinhead’s puzzle box.

Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (Showtime) – A bunch of kids who have nothing better to do conjure up the spirit of a long dead serial killer.

3:45 A.M.

The Fly II (AMC) – The Fly’s son continues his father’s experiments. This, of course, leads to significant discoveries in science and technology. Or, it leads to a guy with a fly’s head. Not too sure which.

2000 Maniacs (TCM) – A Southern town is haunted by Confederate soldiers who want to avenge a Civil War massacre.

Categories: | Features | General | TV Shows |

One Response to “CliqueClack’s scary guide to your Halloween TV viewing”

November 1, 2008 at 11:09 AM

You forgot to add estivus to the end of Chrismakwanzakuah to make it Chrismakwanzakuahestivus. Festivus for the rest of us.

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