Open Letters: Network television primetime schedulers take heed

Dear Consumer-Hater,

First of all, I’d like to mention that, unlike many who bemoan the woeful selection offered today, I enjoy the assortment of television that’s out there right now. Most of it airs on cable … but I digress. Please pass along my support to whom it may concern.

Now on to you. Every fall, my wife and I gear up for yet another year of continuing pleasures, surprise gems, duds, and the inevitable show that gets pulled out right from under us. We work like dogs to map out which new shows we’re up for trying, how scheduling changes affect us, and most aggravating of all, which shows to tape on our VCR when we have three options going head to head to head. It’s annoying, but rarely do we need to worry that we’ll be into a new show after the pilot, sparing us from having to manually set our VCR each week (don’t ask; I’ve never figured out how to program my VCR and cable box in tandem). And on the rare occasion that we’ve needed to? I’ll just say Smith and Cane … we didn’t have to worry for long.

So it was with a certain amount of excitement that we found ourselves sitting down with our TiVo To Do List in anticipation of the vast array of shows premiering this month. Between 24 and American Idol (and a scheduling change for Private Practice), we’ve got a lot of juggling to do. Fine. Monday nights have always been tough for us (I’m a little concerned for when Heroes, The Closer and Rules of Engagement all return, though that’s a good problem to have, right?), but we’ll manage. Worst case scenario is dropping something; I had to do it with Friday Night Lights a few years back.

Anyway, there I am taking a look at the week of January 18^th, when all of a sudden, I see that Tuesday and Wednesday nights have conflicts as well. I click on American Idol, and what do I find? Come on, you know exactly what I’m talking about … next Tuesday night’s episode is one hour and one minute. Wednesday’s is one hour two minutes. See? I knew you knew what I meant.

Network television has already established this TiVo busting nonsense, the hour and some minutes show that throws off our next block of recording time. We hate it, but it’s the reality now, and we learn to work around it. Most times, I’m taping something on the same station anyway (ABC), so I’m okay. Idol is notorious for this problem, running long almost every night it airs. And while it’s a thinly veiled excuse, I buy FOX’s argument; live shows can run over. Granted. Though you do somehow manage to make the next show fit into whatever time it has left, but okay, let’s say there’s nothing you can do.

However, the first few weeks of Idol are pre-taped. Happened months ago. In fact, they happened long enough ago that all they really are are clip shows, snippets of one performer or another. Prepackaged and poured over so many times that they don’t miss a beat flowing from one train-wreck contestant to the next. So why the extra time?

What’s that? Oh, to screw us. At least you’re being honest about it. Because, how does a pre-taped show run one minute over its allotted hour? When it’s designed that way. So that people like us, who keep coming back despite how bad the acoustics must be hearing the contestants live (just once I’d like the judges to return the following evening to tell the “best of the night” that they sucked after a re-watch), run into a problem recording their next shows on competing networks. I know to ask for a little respect is outlandish, but come on!

And networks not named FOX, why are you receiving this letter as well? First off, view it as a warning. Second? Just because we’re accustomed to your hour and two minute episodes doesn’t mean it’s right to do it to us. Not only do you leave us jockeying to record everything else on later that night, you also short-change the following show. An hour-long drama shouldn’t involve having to round up to get there.

Yes, advertising dollars are the be all and end all. Without viewers watching commercials there’s no money in them. But punishing us for being consumers, making choices exactly as we should, is just a terrible thing to do. If you make it impossible for me to tape two shows from 9-10 because your show runs until 9:02, I’m not forgoing either of the later two; I’m dropping you from my list. You’re the offender, and if I’m not worth your consideration, you’re not worth my time.

Bottom line? Treat us with a little respect.

Sincerely,

The Viewers; the only reason you get to deposit that thing called a paycheck every week. You’re welcome.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Jan 12, 2009 @ 16:00 EST5EDT