As Heroes faded to black tonight, I just couldn’t decide what line summed it up best for me. Is it the old standby, the McEnroe? “You can not be serious!” Or that classic from my crazy uncle, who whenever angered or frustrated responds, “Jesus Tits!” Perhaps I should just take a cue from my IM program, which was flashing “Fuck You Tim Kring.” Maybe Bart Simpson? “I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows.” However you say it, it’s become painfully clear to me, Heroes is a sinking ship and some major changes have to be made.
It can’t just be me, right? Did anyone see that shot at the end and think, “Hey, someone painting the future, in Isaac’s apartment, and seeing a city being blown up… that’s awesome! It’s not exactly like season one at all! Because this time, it’s Matt, both painting and blowing up. And that’s D.C.! ORIGINAL!”
As the kids on Gossip Girl would say, “OMG! WTF!?” Is this Kring’s take on Groundhog Day? With virtually limitless directions to take the story, this is what the Heroes team comes up with? Could it be that this is the office that needs to stop buying Bud Light for all the meetings? Unless it’s the most elaborate practical joke ever, it’s just sad. The ratings decline for the show are well documented, but now it looks like the writers are actively chasing viewers away.
The recycled painting of the future power, and the coming catastrophe bit, are enough to make me just shake my head in disbelief. But the hits, they just keep on coming. Looky there, Daphne is alive. The only person I know who guessed that was going to happen was EVERYONE! Meanwhile, Nathan’s entire story continues to make no sense. Maybe some of that backstory should have been spent trying to explain just what the hell he’s doing, why he’s doing it, and how it all came together so fast. And once again we learn that your chances are rarely better for seeing another day than when you are facing down the barrel of Peter’s gun. In fact, people that Peter points a gun at are more likely to die from choking on fried pork skins than from being shot.
If you are fan of the show, it’s not my intention to piss in your cornflakes. Feel free to ignore my ramblings and go about enjoying the show. And, by all means, tell me why this current chapter works for you. It’s just that, after three years, I think the fans of the show deserve better than this. But without some drastic changes at the top, I just don’t see how they are going to get it. Is anyone going to buy another promise from Tim Kring about how the show is really going to get better, this time?
And there’s the rub. As someone who has never missed the show, I no longer have any confidence at all in the team making it. The previews next week promise Danko going rogue, which is just what I’ve been hoping for. As great as that sounds though, I just can’t get past the nagging suspicion that they are going to somehow fuck it all up.
Clacked by Brett Love
on Feb 24, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
I actually liked everything about this episode except for that final scene. I liked the call backs to Company Man. I liked the fact that Daphne was still alive (It was such a forgone conclusion for me that it was only a matter of time).
I also liked the fact that they didn’t try to tell us like 80 different stories in 42.5 minutes.
*POST AUTHOR*
I agree with you in part Dorv. I did like the way the episode was structured, and focused on fewer characters. And really, I don’t mind that Daphne is alive. But that gag is awfully tired. Everyone down at Earl’s motel room fretting about how she’s dead, and it turns out she was shot in the shoulder. She really should have just been captured.
Danko’s line to Nathan also bothered me. “How did you get here so fast?” How is it that all of these people know Nathan is behind the operation, yet they aren’t screaming to everyone that he’s one of them? Peter had the two of them right there and didn’t bother to mention it, but then, he is Peter.
Unfortunately, any good there was in the episode was wiped away by that ending. Cutting back on time travel was a great idea, but seeing the future should have gone with it. Really, the government hunting down people with abilities is plenty to deal with. Do they need to be stopping another city from blowing up as well?
If we want to start cherrypicking bits from season one, my suggestion: Sack Tim Kring, Save The Show!
I guess believing that Daphne was alive was enough for me (I probably felt similar anger when they killed her in the first place, knowing it was going to stick).
Its funny, I’m the guy that’s support Heroes when it, frankly, didn’t deserve it. Where as many several fans have gotten back on board in Fugitives, I haven’t been impressed until now.
I guess my tastes are just diametrically opposed to everyone elses ;)
But remember that Bryan Fuller is back, and that many of these episodes were already in the can after he rejoined the show. I don’t know if the problem is all Tim Kring, or just that they need to “put the band back together.”
“In fact, people that Peter points a gun at are more likely to die from choking on fried pork skins than from being shot.” – Classic. I’m gonna keep that one in my back pocket to laugh at all day long.
This article is hilarious, especially the first paragraph and this line:
This article is hilarious. Fantastic opening paragraph and fantastic line:
In fact, people that Peter points a gun at are more likely to die from choking on fried pork skins than from being shot.
You nailed it. The show has become really, really lame. It reminds me of Spaceballs when Rick Moranis says that evil will win because good is stupid. He nails it. In heroes, the heroes are just plain stupid.
And yeah, another mushroom cloud painting? Yawn.
At this point you really could take just about anyone off the street and write a better plot for this show than the current staff. And that’s just plain sad.
If Heroes can hang on for another season they should hire the writers from Lost once they’ve finished their run. Lost is everything that Heroes aspires to be but cannot achieve…
What is the deal with Isaac’s apartment? Who is paying the rent or did he have some crazy deal that let him stay rent free. And why does every season some of the heroes hang out there? The guy has been dead for a while. Stop breaking into his old place. Can’t you paint anywhere else? That annoyed me almost more than the actual paintings.
It’s so funny you said that, Dan. When I was watching, I was wondering why it isn’t under surveillance, if we are supposed to think Danko is remotely competant at his job and there are cameras everywhere else. It’s been a known safe house for years– how stupid are the “heroes” for going back there?
And yes, great fried pork skins line.
I keep on watching, not enjoying…as everyone else said, how many more chances do we have to give them while we suffer through? If it wasn’t for TiVo, I would have stopped watching two seasons ago and gained a pathetically large number of hours of my life back.
“However you say it, it’s become painfully clear to me, Heroes is a sinking ship and some major changes have to be made.”
Most of the fans noticed that after the lame season 1 finale and then the mess they called episodes in season 2, but it’s good to finally get everyone on that boat.
If they actually blow up NYC this time because they locked up all the people who could stop it then that would be awesome!
Man I hate it when Oreo’s so spot on right.
The show should’ve ended with Sylar dying in the Season 1 finale. That would’ve been awesome. People would’ve cried and pulled their hair out for more but it would’ve forever stood as one great one-shot of a show.
It’s kind of ridiculous that people accuse Lindelof/Cuse of spitballing their stories and then you compare what they come up with on “Lost” with what happened on “Heroes” since that dreadful season 1 finale. The Horror I say.
I made it five episodes into season two and that was it for me.
you know if it came to any of these Heroes, Peter, Mohinder, Parkman to save my life I wouldn’t have much confidence that they’d do the job. I’d make peace with my maker and accept my fate because these heroes SUPER SUCK… Peter is confused and would just aim a gun at the bad guy withouth shooting. Mohinder would be all it’s not supposed to be like this, I didn’t believe he would do that. And Parkman would read minds and not do anything, just give me a puppy dog look or maybe a head tilting glare.
I couldn’t believe another city in flames is what I get, it’s ridiculous and infuriating. Who is going to ruin the city and cry about it? Who is going to save the day until it blows up again…First New York, then the Earth and now DC…lets flame up the whole Solar System and see if another big bang could come up with a better plot.
yeah, last night for me was the wakeup call that i’ve needed since the season one finale. i thought it was just terrible, do they even have a story anymore? i can’t stand people that talk about LOST being made up as it goes along, but ugh… i have to join that group as it pertains to Heroes. what are they trying to say? what is the story they’re trying to tell? I can’t figure it out, and with the flashbacks to the start of the nathan plan i was hoping for some clarity. it still makes no sense. does nathan even know why he’s doing it? how did everyone on the show get so fucking stupid?
i just don’t care what happens anymore. they had me at hello, and lost me sometime during the first season finale… it just took me this long to figure it out. i guess i’m as slow as the characters on the show.
Well, I’m glad that Daphne’s alive… I suppose that she had to get shot in the first place in order to get Matt to have no qualms about picking through Noah’s brain.
About the painting… *sigh* There’s really no reason to give Matt this ability. I mean, really, why can’t a disaster just come upon them and they have, like, an hour to stop it? I know that that wouldn’t make the longest season, but would it really be that hard to have at least half of a season without a looming apocalyptic disaster?
I like the way Matt Parkmen is turning out, but I wish he didn’t find out daphney was alive, would have made the ending to this arc alot better, also.
But they aren’t utilizing Peter’s power very well, he doesn’t have control of it, and when he touches someone he copies there power, he touched matt at least 3 times that episode, why couldn’t he have gotten the power, and then saw Daphney was alive because matt was worn out, and then CHOSE not to tell matt so matt would help him kill them all.
Damn it I want Villians!
Hilarious article and I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I’ll still watch the show, but my high expectations for it aren’t there any longer.
They need to get some real comic book writers to write for the show instead of the hacks they have now.
I used to love Heroes. Now it’s like watching Saturday Night Live … you keep hoping it’ll be good and sometimes there are moments of brilliance, but mostly it just stinks. I guess I can always watch Intervention … say, what if Intervention did a show about Tim Kring and his addiction to destroying everyone I loved about Heroes?
I’m glad to see so many other people on the same page regarding the disaster that has befallen Heroes. It’s a show with an A+ concept, A casting, and D- writing. I mean, the writing is just horrible, schizophrenic, nonsensical.
Nathan is all over the place. This “hunter” character acts like a badass, but Sylar would kill him in two seconds. Hell, Peter could have killed him if he wanted. In season one, Peter vs. Sylar was such a great dynamic, yet they ruined it with the hapless season one finale and neither character has recovered since.
Claire is freaking annoying, Noah’s alliance with Nathan makes no sense at all, it’s retarded that Danko would have surveillance cameras everywhere EXCEPT the artist’s studio. By the way, how did they find them at the motel, and have soldiers there within five minutes? And what was up with that eclipse last season that made everyone lose their powers? Has that been explained yet? Hell, they still haven’t explained where these powers came from, and why people who were part of the program as children (Tanya, Peter, Nathan, Sylar, etc) only achieved their powers just in the last three years. Was there a triggering event that hasn’t been explained yet? Didn’t Sylar gain the chameleon power from that fat woman in season two? Why hasn’t he used it?
We could probably list a hundred plot holes in this show, such as missing characters, random allegiance shifts, unresolved plot lines, nonsensical time travel, and of course a lack of major plot themes or direction. The show keeps introducing promising characters and then killing them off, and it fails to kill the ones that it should (Sylar, season one) and it abandons plotlines before figuring out what to do about them.
The show is basically unfixable without a total reboot. Fire all the writers and creative execs (Kring on down), introduce a real outside evil force (terrorists, aliens, monsters, whatever) that the heroes must defeat, and make the season about that.
Heroes is trying to be too clever, and the writers clearly don’t have the brains for it. Fire the clowns and hire someone who knows how to tell a story with a beginning, middle and end.