Dear TLC,
I hate you. Not just a figurative hate, either. This is a hate that begins at the bottom of my toes and extends to the tips of whatever hair remains on my head. It’s a hatred I save for reality shows, Rush Limbaugh, and According to Jim. In other words, things that will just. Not. Die.
You now have one of those at your network: Jon & Kate Plus Eight. After a few seasons of fake love, Jon & Kate Gosselin now hate each other as much as I hate you. Yet, the show lives on with constant new episodes where Kate and the girls visit a tea party while Jon and the boys go to a strip joint pick up a new “mommy.” This, despite the fact that fewer and fewer people are watching the show as the negative press mounts. By this time, you would think Jon & Kate would be gone off the schedule and replaced with The Real Garbage Collectors of Weehawken.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case.
Instead of letting the show die a peaceful death, you’ve decided to rebrand it. So, come November 2nd, viewers are going to tune into Kate Plus Eight. Yes, after a few episodes where Jon tried to get the kids to make horrendous outfits for his new clothing line, TLC decided that Jon presence would be reduced, which is reality TV-speak for “Jon’s a liability to us now.”
Instead, Kate Plus Eight will focus on Kate Gosselin as she copes with being a single mother. A single mother with a cook, a nanny, a hairdresser, a make-up artist, a number of corporate sponsors, and some guy who sweeps the path that she walks on. You know, the way that normal single mothers handle their lives on a daily basis. The reason for the title change, according to TLC, was that the show was going in that direction anyway. So, might as well get rid of Jon’s name before November Sweeps in order to bring in all those female-based advertisers.
TLC, I have just three words for you: Give. It. Up. Five words if I add: Stupid. Idiots. How much more can you milk this franchise (apparently, a lot) before it dries up like a relationship commitment to Jennifer Aniston? Soon enough, we’re going to have Plus Eight, as Kate decides to flee the country and marry her bodyguard boyfriend while the twin girls and their sextuplet siblings try to struggle on their own (along with their wacky uncle and ditzy aunt, of course). Eventually, the kids will end up on other reality programs, such as Intervention, Cops, America’s Most Wanted, and for some reason, The Rachel Zoe Project.
Please, just end the show so everyone at Gosselin House can heal themselves and try to figure out how the hell this all happened. Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s another family of multiples that are ready and willing to have their lives taken apart on camera. Just have some patience.
Clacked by Richard Keller 
on Sep 29, 2009 @ 15:30 EST5EDT
If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. I don’t understand whining like this?
You can say that for everything on TV.
Now in a South Park parent voice….
WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!
No? Oh well, fuck the kids! it will get better ratings when Kate treats them like trash!
*POST AUTHOR*
Not whining, Stuart. And, I’m not watching it. This is just another example of the greed that seeps through reality programs. Rather than going away quietly to reassess her life, Kate is still going through with a show that no longer has much meaning.
Agree, Richard. And, I’ve never watched. And I never will. But unfortunately for me, everywhere I turn the fuckers are in my face. I can’t stand either of them, and feel sadly for their 8 (what is with having 8 kids???) children who are going to feel the effects of this for the rest of their lives. Unless they move in next to me, because I couldn’t point out one of the 8, thank God. I hate reality crap. If it was real, it might be slightly interesting, but that they haven’t been in a real marriage since the filming of the show began should be telling for anyone who watches all the drivel they pass as entertainment these days.
I didn’t think it was whining. I thought it was funny!
*POST AUTHOR*
Thanks, Jen. I appreciate it.
Actually, whining would be ‘Oh, why does Jon have to leave the show!’ I think all of us agree that these two should just go away. Their 15 months of fame are over.
Way over on the snark-o-meter, really.
OMG, I can’t stand Kate either. She is such a money hungry witch! It’s so obvious that she is doing this stupid show just to get all that money. She spends it on herself. She gets a makeover, ridiculous hairstyle, she has to be tan all the time now, and get her nails done. What “normal” family, especially with 8 children, can afford to do all that. What talent does she have to deserve all that money. Let her go out and get a real job like everyone else to take care of her kids. Does she really need to live in a million dollar house.
T L C NEEDS TO CANCEL THE SHOW . . IT’S RIDICULOUS!!
I am sick of seeing this bitch feel sorry for herself. That freeze-frame of her teary eyes, on my MSN home page, makes me want to throw up. After finishing another online job application (due to being laid off), I go back to my homepage, just as my little girl’s fish sticks ding on the Pizzaz, I find it impossible to give a SHIT about Kate Gosselin’s problems, right now. It’s one thing to avoid TLC (that’s easy), but when the bitch is constantly invading my computer… GO AWAY! Boo-fucking hoo already.
Waaaay late response to a waaay good article. Just happened upon it today when I am roaming around for stuff the comment on about that, whatever it is we can call Kate now. It would be interesting to find out who she is doing at TLC to keep her persona plastered all over everything. We see what she can look like when some magician applies several coats of beauty on her but then we can also see what she looks like sans makeup in her ugly huuuuge head covering black cap at 6:30 AM at the bus stop, there’s a sight capable of bringing up our breakfast. Wish TLC would buy this broad a ‘truth mirror’ so she could check herself out BEFORE she leaves the building, some days she shouldn’t go out the door. NATURAL BEAUTY SHE AIN’T, AND THAT’S FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!