H’okay … let me get this straight, because I’m a bit confused about the Chicago and Orlando episodes of American Idol:
– Shelby Dressel does a Nora Jones stint … and gets 4-voted into Hollywood (while prefaced with a feel-good story and the fact she’s not bad, she isn’t terrific. This poor girl is going to get eaten alive in Hollywood.)
– The dippy Desimone Sisters — Bernadette and Amanda — get through to Hollywood, despite Simon Cowell’s post-audition admission to the girls Bernadette is clearly better than Amanda (Kara DioGuardi: “How do you break these two up?”)
– Charity Vance of Little Rock, Arkansas makes it. Cute, but lackluster, she’ll be another given victim who will not see the finals, who will instead be thrown to the wolves.
– Keith Semple of the raspy voice skates through.
There are more. But the clear winner of all these improbables has to be Cornelius Edwards (video below) who taught us this lesson: jump monster high … come down wicked hard doing the splits … catapult your family jewels up into your adenoids … rip your pants beyond recognition … and win a golden ticket for your efforts. Singing be damned, this is how this dude got in the finals.
Even Jarrod Norrell — he of the hideous “Amazing Grace: The Handcuffed Version” — got a comical “Yes or no?” from Simon after he was escorted off the premises last evening.
Which leads me to quote Randy Jackson, who summed up all this monkey business multiple times in each of the four episodes having aired to date: “What’s going on here … ?!?”
What’s going on, indeed. Is this American Idol: The Sympathy Edition? American Idol: The “Let’s Just Put’em Through And Will Sort Out The Mess Later” Edition? Never have I seen such lackadaisical contestants whiz through, leaping and smiling with a golden ticket in hand. It doesn’t make compelling television to see these people advance. But what can you do? Me, I just shake my head and carry on, my wayward son.
It’s not to say there aren’t some compelling auditions out there. For example: Matt Lawrence, (“The BB Gun Bandit”), wasn’t the only genuine voice in the mix on last night’s episode (and the irony of him singing “Trouble” wasn’t lost on this viewer. Nor was the first song of the evening — Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” — by the tight-jean-wearing, flamboyant, appliqued and feathered and scarved, Theo Glinton.)
Randy: I’m with you. I’ven’t a clue “what’s going on.”
Hey, you … reading this: You know what’s going on?
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Jan 21, 2010 @ 13:59 EST5EDT
Great review and I completely agree. Simon just doesn’t seem to be on top of his game this season.
So, it wasn’t just the cold meds I was taking that left me wondering what the hell was going on.
I wasn’t impressed at all. The snark within me shriveled up (the decongestant may be to blame for that)
And what was with Kara going down to the trenches to give those kids a pep talk?
The beat box dude was trying to sing seriously and those dolts (randy and kara) were making idiot noises mocking him. Feh.
Maybe I should have downed some cold meds prior to the shows. At least when I dozed off I could have blamed it on the meds.
Well Michael, since you asked…
To me, the biggest problem is Kara. If she isn’t high-fiving Kristen Chenowith, (really HOW many high-fives are necessary after the age of 35?) she’s giggling like a schoolgirl at people, or making grand “pronouncements” like she’s the female Moses or something. Blergh! WHEN will we get a dose or relief via Ellen’s entrance into this weird foray. If not for Simon…I’d be gone. And by some of the looks HE shoots her way, you can tell he finds her as irritating as I do. Prolly more, since the poor bloke is stuck next to her ALL day. In the immortal words of…I think it was Keith Moon…”SHEESS!”
Shoulda spelled that last word with an extra “H”, but you get the jist.