I’m one of those people who absolutely can’t stand when the Olympic Games roll around, neither Summer nor Winter. I have no interest in the array of obscure sports that the Games popularize, and the pomp and pageantry of the opening and closing ceremonies go right over my head … though I might have watched if it had been done as The Simpsons envisioned it, from the director of Ghostbusters — “Who you gonna call? Albania!”
Even sports that I normally enjoy — like hockey and basketball — are lost on me in international play. Whether they’re winning or losing, USA Men’s Basketball is pitting superstars against a whole bunch of nobodies fronted by one or two fellow NBA stars. Sure it sounds like the Celtics versus the Warriors, but it’s not. Hockey, meanwhile, has the opposite problem. How can I feel comfortable rooting for Czechoslovakia (welcome back Jaromir!) when I’m an American?
So for me the Olympics are two lost weeks of TV. But then why is my TiVo filling up with Olympic coverage all day?
For those of you who guessed “You can’t help yourself” … you’re wrong. For those of you who guessed the wife? You got it!
This illness actually dates back to 2004. That summer we were lucky enough to be able to spend three months just hanging out doing absolutely nothing, waiting to move on to our next destination. We literally spent our days playing video games and making ice-pop runs. That is, until the Olympics began.
I had been an early converter to Time Warner’s new DVR cable box, but my wife and I had never really seen what it could do. Well, she made up for it that summer, taping everything Olympics-related during the nights and watching them during the day.
Skip ahead to 2006, and a fortuitously timed winter ailment found my wife gobbling down the Winter games as they came. So too in the summer of 2008, when a transitionary period back to work from maternity leave left wide windows open for some leisurely Olympic viewing (even so, by that time her recordings were testing the box’s limits because of how much NBC had expanded its coverage).
So wouldn’t you know it, but my wife has brought that same can-do attitude with her to the 2010 Winter Games. “But it’s only a couple of sports!” she argues. While that’s true, NBC balances its broadcasts by including a wide array of different sports in every segment. So once again our box is going all day and all night.
Only this time she doesn’t have a fortuitously timed vacation, illness, or baby, resulting in a whole lot of five minutes here and ten minutes there. And what does she then proceed to do? Fast forward through 90% of it!
You know what? That might make it go faster, but it still takes time to watch a five hour segment. You fast-forward too far and reverse; you hit play, hear what they’re talking about, and decide that you actually want to see the whole competition that you just skipped through. My son screams and you need to re-catch that last brilliant color commentary. And on and on.
I know it’s just a few weeks, but those few weeks are like a cloud-covered stretch on my calendar, looming there for months and months in advance. I never thought I’d long for NBC to return to its regularly scheduled programming, but can you? Soon?
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Feb 17, 2010 @ 11:00 EST5EDT
Amen,Brother! I feel exactly the same way and my wife’s exactly the same way. Although my wife will instantly get drawn in by whatever happens to be on the TV the moment she turns it on. She could turn on the TV halfway through something as disgusting and nonexistent as “The History of Turds” and within 3 seconds be engrossed in the show. I almost have to hide the remote from her and then she complains that “we” watch too much TV and that’s why the DVR is so full. To which I say, “No, you’re watching excrement, dear.” Then there’s the fight and all that fun stuff! :o)
*POST AUTHOR*
Okay, we don’t have it quite that bad, but the stuff she does get into she gets into hard. She started watching and caught up on America’s Next Top Model in like one summer, by taping marathons of six or seven seasons. It was non-stop!
Just tell your wife that the Olympics won’t let women do the skiing long jump because they are sexist pigs. It’s true and it should piss her off enough not to give a damn about this BS anymore.
*POST AUTHOR*
No go. Next?
Divorce?
*POST AUTHOR*
Yeah, there may be a step or two before that, but good focus grouping. :)
Can’t agree with your assessment of Olympic basketball at all. Until this past Olympics, we’ve not shown well at all.
And how can you not love curling? I LOVE curling!!!
Wow! I 100% agree with you!
Don’t forget 1992 in Barcelona – the Dream Team rocked! Larry Bird lying on his stomach all the time, Barkley laughing on the court. It was so awesome :-)
And I just luv Curling. Especially because there’s always a way a team can come back, and our national teams aren’t half bad. Such a beautiful sport every four years. Great Sport. Love it :-)
Dammit. Now I want to watch the luge as well. I hate you people here. Don’t remind me that there are good sports at the Olympics. Now I have to look up when Curling comes on :-D
*POST AUTHOR*
I’m not talking about how we’ve competed. I said it doesn’t matter if we’re winning or losing. What I’m saying is that when you have the All Star starting five playing against four people whose names you can’t pronounce plus the greatest foreign import in the NBA, it’s kind of dumb for me.
I like video game curling. Also, you basically landed right on the plot of this week’s Simpsons. Marge and Homer went to Vancouver in mixed curling. :)
While the talent disparity may exist in basketball, it’s certainly not true with hockey in the Winter Olympics, where it’s entirely plausible to see the US, Canada, Russia, Czech Republic, or Slovakia winning it all. Even the supposedly pushover qualification games are competitive.
*POST AUTHOR*
Right, although I’m not sure I’d include the US in there. That’s what I meant about having the opposite problem with hockey — all of the talent is non-US born, so as an American it’s tough to cheer for a foreign national team. Not a bad problem to have, just nothing that gets me excited about watching Olympic hockey.
Not watching any of it. I follow a german journalist’s blog who’s writing about corruption and doping in sports. So his topics usually are Olympics, FIFA Soccer and the Tour de France.
That got rid of me wanting to watch any competetive sport other than soccer (where only corruption is the problem, not the juicing).
Here in germany we have a female speed skater who used EPO, we have a cyclist who won two days at the Tour de France who took it – and don’t get me started about Lance Armstrong, Baseball, all former short track runners of the US, Ben Johnson, Ursain Bolt et cetera. Four years ago it was a cross country skier from Austria who had to give back his gold medals – eight years ago it was a german one who immigrated to Spain – he had to give back three medals, two gold one bronze. And don’t get me started about the Beijing Olympics. Never in the history of the Olympics were there less controls than at that event.
The only thing I’m likely to watch is Icehockey. Germany’s in the Olympic tournament and we have 11 players from the NHL who I can now finally see play for the first time in four years. And it’s highly unlikely that the doping there will make a lot of difference. Skill’s still the main reason games are won and it’s a team sport like Basketball. The only thing I watched at the Beijing Olympics (Dirrrrrrrrrrk :-D )
Lost aired yesterday, the whole Animation domination on Fox on Sunday, 24 aired on monday, TAR airs sunday as well so I’m fine. I’m more than fine. The internet allows me to pretty much select what I watch. Can’t wait for the change of the iTunes store when the iPad finally comes out – if they lower the price of TV episodes to 50c or maybe a buck I might just start start paying because I’m so used to getting my TV on demand now.
All I can say is – I’m glad the Olympics aren’t ruining my TV as much as they did in the past.
*POST AUTHOR*
Well certainly you can’t be a fan of many sports if you’re of the opinion that everyone who succeeds is doping. Seems counter-productive to me, but then I suppose you have to be interested in the first place for that to really matter.
All cable shows are on too. Still, reruns from most shows for two weeks after just coming back from hiatus? Because of the Olympics?