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The Celebrity Apprentice – Never paint your doors and ceilings

Donald Trump looks to stir up trouble when he puts Curtis on a team with two people who hate him for no reason. But he can design a hell of a kitchen.

- Season 9, Episode 9 - "Apartment Remodel"

Talk about attitudes. Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was chalk full of some of the nastiest behavior I’ve ever seen on the show … and that’s saying something if you consider who’s appeared on it these last three seasons. But as easy as it would be to get bogged down by all of that, let’s instead attempt to be the adults once more.

I loved the reactions to Trump’s grotesquely “too much” apartment, which has never failed to horrify me every season that we’ve been exposed to it. Did you notice that people were either stating facts (it’s statuesque with lots of statues), commenting on something that he had nothing to do with (great view), or referring to it with words like opulence? In the past everyone’s fawned over it, but he got none of that this time around.

Despite how things turned out in the end, I really dislike the trade of Curtis for Bret. Curtis shouldn’t have to work with people so inexplicably hateful of him (seriously, how could anyone have a problem with a guy who seems so pleasant and inoffensive?), and Bret makes no sense with “Selita” and Cyndi. Or I should say he made perfect sense with Sharon and Maria, even if their childishness turns me off.

The task was to design apartments, including a room with “celebrity style” — as first explained — which turned into a “celebrity room” as the task progressed. Anyone who’s been watching the show all along make the obvious comparison to what the regular contestants had to do that was similar to this? That was the season of Omarosa, when a task to renovate and rent two crappy apartments meant real manual labor for the contestants, and poor baby got injured by a falling paint chip, or something like that. Compared to this task? What was the point here?

We did get to see “Selita” and Sharon go head-to-head yet again, but in a manner that didn’t really test either of their “skills.” I loved Trump ragging on Don Don for forgetting what he was supposed to say when presenting the task to the “celebrities.”

But for some reason the design concepts turned into little more than a whole lot of painting. Just a really terrible mess that was poorly managed on both sides. The fact that one team managed a win over the other wasn’t due to anyone’s leadership abilities or talents so much as Sharon getting the taste of the judges right, and “Selita” getting everything way wrong.

The paint party was funny — imagine if Ozzy Osbourne, or anyone recognizable, had shown up — and it was amusing when Sharon told the camera that celebrities don’t use drawers. Where does she store her intimates?

The contest, of course, was no contest, because “Selita’s” apartment was nothing more than a cheap-looking, ugly mess. That sea foam green was really nasty, and I didn’t even get a Zen feel, regardless of whether or not that was a good idea in the first place.

Bret made the wrong choice in aligning himself with “Selita” — she seized on every opportunity to throw him into the conversation in order to deflect from her own faults. The truth is I wondered what the backlash might be if Bret had been fired, considering his current medical problems. The show, of course, was shot months ago, but if it’s only airing now, the present is the prism we’re going to see it through.

But then Don Don jumped on his own complete misunderstanding of something that Cyndi said, and it was clear that she was done for. All Cyndi said was that “Selita” told her “red.” The room itself was Cyndi’s design, which “Selita” helped make clear by repeatedly insisting that she had been standing right by Cyndi as she designed it … “Selita” knew that the team’s one success was Cyndi’s. At the same time, her insistence that she had designed the rest of the apartment herself, which was the failure, should have made the decision to fire her a no-brainer. And getting on Bret for lacking the passion and energy of the women because he was staying out of an argument that had nothing to do with him? What was that about?

I’m in a bit of a pickle here, because once again it was the woman I now call “Selita” in protest who should have been fired. Do I start calling her “Cyndi?” But that would ignore the first injustice. So maybe some combination of the two, like “Selidi?” Let me know what you think. In the meantime, pray that “Selita” doesn’t make it to the finals, because she is a horror.

“He’s not easy to work for either.” – Don Don, in a joke about his father that fell flat (and might get him replaced by Eric next week!)

Photo Credit: cyndi-lauper.net

4 Responses to “The Celebrity Apprentice – Never paint your doors and ceilings”

May 10, 2010 at 12:54 PM

Lots of people have drawers built into their walk in closets, so there would be no dresser drawers in the main sleeping area.

Interesting how Cyndi went from “I won’t talk bad about anyone” to “She’s a B****”. She showed her True Colors. I really wanted her to at least hug Brett goodbye. Too bad.

I’d like to see Holly vs. Brett in the finals. They are so completely different, it would appeal to my sense of symmetry.

May 10, 2010 at 4:17 PM

True enough about the drawers. I made that note to myself as she said it, and since the bedroom in their apartment didn’t seem to have large closets, I was thinking in those terms. But you’re right.

Cyndi surprised me too, but Holly saying that Cyndi has two sides to her? Who’s she to talk?

May 10, 2010 at 1:41 PM

Spot on Aryeh! Holly keeps dodging the bullet, and I don’t understand why. She was the main reason this task failed. That apartment was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. And that wasn’t seafoam. That color was lime. Not restful or Zen in the least! Who could relax and go to dreamland with that loud coloring invading from all sides?
If Cyndi or Bret would have just kept pounding on the fact that Holly was responsible for every awful aspect except the red room, she would have gotten fired. Point out that the client hated it! Point out that the results were not even close! Say something! Argh.

May 10, 2010 at 4:19 PM

The strongest skills to have in this game are the ability to steer the conversation in the boardroom, and the ability to parrot key points that he mentions back at Trump. Holly excels at both.

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