MasterChef – Cook the dish of your life!

With a double dose of my Gordon Ramsay currently on Tuesday nights, you can imagine that I’m in heaven. Yet, there is a drawback. Two shows to review in one night. As I am rather methodical in my posts (why are you giggling?), I was in a quandary. Until I utilized my new DVR. Woah. I love technologly! Now, if my Gordon says or does something amazingly cute, BAM! My friend the Rewind Button is there! I am happy as a little girl.

So! What do you think of Masterchef so far? I have to admit, I see a pattern emerging in these early audition shows that I hope to Hayzoos goes away. And that is the cornball schmaltz factor. You know, this show has been compared to  American Idol a lot. But to me, it has much more America’s Got Talent in it, what with the crying and the drama and the hard luck stories. Don’t get me wrong. I’m no cold biotch. I’ve seen West Side Story like 87 times! It’s just starting to bug me, that’s all. It feels forced. Especially from judge Joe Bastianich, who I will continue to lovingly refer to as Joe Basterd. Enough with the cold fish eyes when he tastes things. And definitely enough with calling a contestant right over to him and asking them to prove why they want an apron until they’re in tears. Chafer! Why oh why do all of these shows have someone who causes me to have to run for the baby powder and “ghost” myself down?

First over the top moment? Poor Tamar. She quit her job to do this competition. O.K. That’s pretty dumb to do in this economy. So she’s guilty of “stupid.” But! First the judges turn her down, and then my Gordon talks Graham-of-the-glasses into changing his mind. So Graham lumbers out in the holding area, where Tamar is having hysterics, and apologizes and hands her an apron. This causes Tamar to practically flatline. And it wasn’t really necessary. They could have just told her to stop being so busy in her presentation, and concentrate more on preparation. However, that wouldn’t have been so touching, right? Sigh.

Then there was Joe the construction worker with the tattoos and the goatee. You could tell Graham liked him from the get go. But Joe Basterd pulled his “come over here and look me in the eye” bit. I felt for Joe, I really did. Dude knocks himself out, tying scallions around an asparagus bundle, and still has to be called on the carpet. I despise Joe Basterd. More baby powder please!

We also saw people who the judges thought were too young, too overworked with challenges at home, or who had “passion” but not on the plate. One poor woman they sent all the way home to cook for them again! And she lived in Whittier! Which, if you know your L.A., means she had to drive in hella traffic, cook, and return in 2 hours. That was just mean. Mean!

Suffice it to say, that so far I’m on the fence about Masterchef. If it changes up now that all 30 contestants are on board, I’ll be fine. If not. Well, I’ll still watch! You know I’d watch my Gordon do a crayon drawing! Wink, wink, nudge nudge.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Aug 04, 2010 @ 16:57 EST5EDT